Eliot Spitzer has a new job! John Koblin reports that starting tomorrow, the scandalized ex-guv is going to be writing a column for Slate called "The Best Policy." It will be about "the financial crisis and fixing financial markets and the economy generally," and will almost certainly be very informative (Spitzer was once a populist hero, remember!) and very boring. Because really, do you think Spitzer's going to run down his hooker stories (which is what everyone actually wants to hear) in Slate? He's saving that for the book. They should have gone after Ashley Dupre as a columnist instead. "THE SEX POLICY." It's a win-win. [NYO]
Remember when Sex and the City came along and started dictating to women what their hopes and dreams should be? It was a fun, heady time! The two main lessons were: shopping and fucking. That's what ladies do. And, when looking at Sexism's disciples, one can see a clear path where these two roads diverged in the yellow wood of a Barney's spring sale. One group of people, those (including Candace Bushnell!) behind the regrettable NBC women's seminar Lipstick Jungle bumbled off toward the shopping, and a young queen of New Jersey named Ashley Alexandra Dupre trotted off toward the fucking (specifically as a hooker with the Governor of New York!) Finally, one has emerged the victor. And it should come as no surprise that, in the end, the fucking won out. We mean to say that in a ratings battle that was historially waged on Friday night, Dupre's much ballyhooed Diane Sawyer 20/20 interview handily trounced Lipstick Jungle (which aired, on a Friday for some reason, in the same slot as the interview) with a 8.2 million to 3.3 million point spread. So, though series star Brooke Shields might deny it, Jungle is ding-dong diddily dead. And Ashley Dupre is famous(ish) again! Jungle has plenty of sex, sure, but it's mostly about the clothes (there's a character named Victory who is a fashionz dezinerz!) and the Baudelaire lifestyles the garments imply. Dupre was all about where the sexing will get you—money! in New York! fleeting, squirrely third-hand fame! Both gluttony and lust are strong ass sins, to be sure, but I guess in the end the carnality, unlike the consumerism, is free. Well, not free. But... Oh, you know what I mean.
So the, uh, long-awaited interview with Eliot Spitzer's call girl has finally arrived! If this had come out six months ago, you all would have been hanging on her every word; now it's more of a novelty, like meeting Tonya Harding. But there are highlights, and we've collected them in this handy clip! Click to see some ill-advised hooker empathy, the real difference between an "escort" and a "prostitute," and lots of Diane Sawyer's famous "Bitch, what?" face.
Is there any particular reason that Time magazine has a story (?) on its website right now with the byline "By Ashley Alexandra Dupre"? The entire content of the story is a big picture of Ashley Alexandra Dupre, and the words "I'm sorry for your pain." Either the Spitzer hooker has been hired on to write Zen koans, or something seriously strange is going on in Time's internet department. (Now Time tells us this was supposed to be a "Quote of the Day" that was accidentally converted into an article page. Crazy!) Click through for a big picture of the screen, in case it gets pulled. [Time]
After we went to all the trouble of offering Spitzer hooker Ashley Dupre seven—seven!—different career choices yesterday, what does she do? She goes and tells Diane Sawyer, "I want to go after my music and do what I love. And not lose track of who I am on the way. I'm trying to pursue my music. I'm still living for it. I'm not gonna give up my dream. I'm not going to change. I'm not going to let this change who I am. And what I love." All of those short declarative sentences do not change the fact that your song "All We Want" is just the sort of generic R&B bullshit blathering that has already largely destroyed our nation's airwaves. We say this as a friend! Regrettably, Ashley is listening to her other friends: her MySpace friends. Like Whitney Houston, and "Fin" from Williamsburg:
Let's do the math here: Ashley Alexandra Dupre, America's most famous hooker, hits the news in March when her fortuitous association with Eliot Spitzer becomes public. Except for some vague second-hand insinuations that she wants a record contract, she doesn't make any real career moves until now, when she decides to do her first interviews with the press. We're pretty sure that she's been getting advice—but are her advisers looking out for her interests as much as we, the gossip bloggers, are? Doubtful. We've put together a complete guide to career options for Ashley—or any woman who finds herself famous after a sex scandal—after the jump. Simply select one and go, Ashley: