Gawker sure wrote a lot about Kristin Cavallari this year, huh? Bet you’d like to know which of those posts you should catch up on before the new year. Here’s a quick roundup of our favorites from 2015:
What will you be doing roughly 13-17 months from now? Maybe you’ll finally be taking a stay-cation in sunny Tulum, where you could live by then. Perhaps you’ll be starting a new job at the soda can factory. You might even be well into your second pregnancy if you start on the first one right now. Change is scary, but take comfort in the knowledge that while your life may look different 400-500 days from now, one thing is for certain: you’ll be able to read former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari’s first book then, probably.
Kristin Cavallari’s first book, Balancing on Heels, drops in approximately 500 days. Starting today, we will begin marking the days on our calendar, which is a special two-year calendar, so don’t worry, it has enough days. We will also mark the days here on Defamer, every day, for the next 500 days. What’s happening on Day One of 500 Days of Kristin? Kristin’s leaning in.
Flaubert once noted that “the art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.” This couldn’t be more true for Kristin Cavallari, who is discovering through writing that she believes in carbs, but only some carbs—not the white ones. On the 498th day before her game-changing tip book Balancing on Heels drops, Kristin has made us a food diary.
Today, Kristin is distracted from writing her debut book Balancing on Heels—due out in 497 days—by her own (low) weight. She tells E! News, “I can look really skinny and I don’t like that look. So, yes, I’m drinking protein shakes, I’m trying to put on muscle and I’m lifting very heavy weight right now.”
Four hundred and ninety-six days until Kristin Cavallari’s debut book Balancing on Heels drops, and today she points us to a mystery. Might she explain this mystery in her book? Hard to say, but here it is: If Kristin had to pick one person as her best friend, who would she pick?
On the 495th day before Kristin Cavallari’s debut lifestyle book Balancing on Heels drops, she’s discovering what her audience loves about her. Explaining to the hosts of Good Morning America why people appreciated it when she posted her husband Jay Cutler’s harried texts on Instagram, Kristin said, “It’s refreshing to see that Jay and I are just like everybody else.”
There are still 494 days until Kristin Cavallari’s first book, Balancing on Heels, drops. So what will you read today, on a boring Saturday so far in the distant past, instead? Kristin has a recommendation. When asked in an interview with DWNLD, an app-making company, what her favorite app is, Kristin responded: “I guess I have to say mine!”
It’s Sunday, and there are 493 days until Kristin Cavallari’s book drops, and maybe today you are just taking some time to yourself to reflect on the week past. Maybe you’re even repenting for your sins. Kristin’s not. In a recent interview posted to her eponymous app, she proclaimed, “I don’t really have any regrets or huge mistakes.”
Kristin Cavallari promises that Balancing on Heels, her debut book due out in 491 days, will be chock full of health tips, fitness tips, and recipe tips. Today, she offered us a tip for free in the form of a post on her eponymous app titled “Maple Syrup vs Agave,” by Kristin Cavallari.
The ongoing debate over whether or not children should be vaccinated has increased in volume and urgency this winter, in the wake of a nationwide measles outbreak that has now topped 100 cases. While we must wait 492 more days to read former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari’s thoughts on the matter in her debut book, Balancing on Heels, we can look at what she’s said on the topic in the past to guide our discussion today.
Four hundred and ninety days until Kristin Cavallari reveals “really just everything in my life” in her debut book, Balancing on Heels. Four hundred and ninety days we must wait to crack the spine of that freshly-bound hard(?)cover and read, read, read, all the thinks Kristin has ever thought during her existence on this planet, including what she is obsessed with, and whether or not that thing is a hat.
Kristin Cavallari is the star of a new book about her life, written by her, that is due out in 489 days. But did you know she also starred in a film? Per Wikipedia: “She also starred in the straight-to-DVD film, National Lampoon’s Van Wilder: Freshman Year, as Kaitlyn. The film was released July 14, 2009, to mixed to negative reviews.”
There are 488 days until Kristin Cavallari’s debut book Balancing on Heels drops. What can you do in the meantime? Kristin posted this idea to Instagram today: “Join me as I wear red lipstick to support @GoRedForWomenAHA and the movement to end heart disease and stroke in women by sharing your#GoRedSelfie.”
There are 487 days until former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari’s debut book, Balancing on Heels, drops. That’s 487 days to think about how all of our lives could be different now if not for driver’s ed. As Kristin’s Wikipedia page reveals, “Cavallari was enrolled at Santa Margarita Catholic High School for her freshman year. After she attended a Driver’s Education course through Laguna Beach High School, her father enrolled her in Laguna Beach High School.”
In 486 days, we will finally be able to purchase Kristin Cavallari’s debut book, Balancing on Heels. It will also finally be spring (2016). Who knows what the trends will be then, but right now, the hottest trend is “yellow,” according to a new post on Kristin’s app titled “Spring Trends.”
Four hundred and eighty-five days until Kristin Cavallari’s debut book Balancing on Heels drops, and now the master picks up her pen for the first time. Or, at least, she picks up something. No evidence yet of a pen on the scene, as Kristin revealed in an Instagram post today that her creative process is perhaps more elemental than previously thought.
There are 484 days until Kristin Cavallari’s debut book Balancing on Heels drops, and while she keeps showing herself to us in new ways with each passing hour, it’s hard to catch everything that she puts out into the world. For example, last week, she posted this Instagram photo, titled “Green smooooothie”:
It appears Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book Balancing on Heels is due out in 483 days, has been doing some non-book-related writing. While freelancing shorter pieces for respected outlets is a great way to promote a forthcoming memoir, it is not customary to write passages for free on the Kristin Cavallari Wikipedia page.
There are many things that need saving in this turbulent world of ours: the rain forest, the children, the date Kristin Cavallari’s debut book drops 482 days from now, etc. But in 2008, Kristin discovered something equally precious that must be preserved: Ellis Island. “Help us save Ellis Island,” she pleads, in the promotional video for the Save Ellis Island Foundation below.
There are 481 days until Kristin Cavallari’s debut book Balancing on Heels drops, and today, Kristin is experiencing the exquisite torture of romance. The object(s) of her affection? The new Love Is On™ range of Revlon Ultra HD™ lipsticks. And her husband, Jerbb Curtis(?). Kristin writes on Instagram:
There are 480 days until Kristin’s debut book Balancing on Heels drops, and with each day that passes, Kristin finds new ways to describe the happenings in her life. For example, she captioned the Instagram post below, “One more from today.”
There are 479 days to go until the publication of Kristin Cavallari’s debut book Balancing on Heels, and currently she is searching for the right word or words to describe an object. “I need a name for these little balls,” Kristin confessed on Instagram. “Oat balls?!!”
When Kristin Cavallari’s debut book Balancing on Heels drops, it will be springtime (2016). But when Kristin visited the Empire State to attend New York Fashion Week yesterday, it was 28 degrees below freezing (4°F). Naturally, she wore winter white:
The secrets of this world are vast, innumerable, and often revealed to us by unlikely parties and means. Today—just 477 days before her debut book Balancing on Heels drops—Kristin Cavallari whispered some secrets onto her eponymous app.
Kristin Cavallari named her sons “Camden” and “Jaxon”—unprompted!
Kristin Cavallari has revealed to us the secrets of bone broth, the foibles of agave, and the number of calories in one scoop of sour cream (too many). Today, 475 days before the publication of her debut book Balancing on Heels, she reveals the most important bit of diet advice she’s picked up on the Occupy Monsanto message boards so far: “eat fermented food.”
Last month, Kristin Cavallari—who is currently working on or perhaps at least pondering in a casual way her debut book Balancing on Heels, which is due out in 474 days—revealed that she can look skinny, but she doesn’t like that look.” I can look really skinny, and I don’t like that look,” she told E! News. “So, yes, I’m drinking protein shakes, I’m trying to put on muscle and I’m lifting very heavy weight right now.”
With 473 days left to go before her debut book Balancing on Heels drops, Kristin continues to reveal herself to us in small but telling ways. Last week, she plopped one more tiny nugget of insight into her psyche on Instagram.
In 472 days, former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari’s debut book Balancing on Heels hits shelves. It will be a tome so epic as to encompass “really just everything in my life,” according to Kristin. How many pages has she written so far?
There are 471 days until Kristin Cavallari’s debut and likely final book Balancing on Heels drops, and today Kristin has transcribed for us us yet another seemingly random sequence of 1s and 0s that, when taken as a whole, constitute her unfathomable moral code: Kristin only eats shrimp if she knows where the shrimp is coming from.
It is Tuesday, February 24, 2015, and inspiration has struck Kristin Cavallari like a lightning bolt. In a post on Instagram titled “Oscar INSPO,” Kristin reveals that one thing made her think of another thing. Lucky for her and us, she wrote it down, and now that thought is preserved forever, a pillbug in amber.
In addition to working tirelessly on her forthcoming teen vampire novel Balancing on Heels, Kristin Cavallari designs mid-priced jewelry that retails online. This fact was recently brought to our attention by Kristin, who posted a photo of said jewelry on her Instagram account along with the name of her line: Emerald Duv.
Earlier today, I was searching for photos of Kristin Cavallari on Getty Images.
There are 466 days until Kristin Cavallari’s biology textbook Balancing on Heels hits shelves, and today, Kristin shares with us another blockbuster report from the scientific community. In a post on her eponymous app, she writes:
Over the last ten years, Kristin Cavallari has graced legendary red carpets: the Cosmopolitan Fun Fearless Male Awards, the launch of T-Mobile’s Sidekick II, and even the 2006 Los Angeles premiere of MTV’s Yo Momma, hosted by Wilmer Valderramma. But on which red carpet did she first balance her heels?
There are 464 days to go before her debut book Balancing on Heels hits shelves, and Kristin Cavallari is thinking about what’s for dinner. Maybe you are, too. Why not try Kristin’s paella recipe?
Kristin Cavallari announced on Instagram this weekend that in addition to caring for her two toddler sons Camden and Jaxon, she will now protect and nurture one more helpless being—a puppy. It’s a German Shepherd, from the looks of it.
You might think that Kristin Cavallari is all serious now, because she’s like, married to the quarterback of the Chicago Bears and writing a book or whatever, but don’t you forget for one second what she is best known for across seas and continents: being hot.
In 461 days, Kristin Cavallari’s debut book Balancing on Heels hits shelves. Today, Kristin posted five sentences about a facial scrub to her eponymous app, which is incidentally now available for Android.
Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.
Kristin Cavallari’s debut book Balancing on Heels won’t hit shelves for another 459 days, but this week, Kristin provided the public a chance to try balancing on her heels themselves. For free! Or rather, for the price of entering an Instagram contest.
In a recent post on her eponymous app, Kristin Cavallari reveals, “I haven’t had fast food in years.”
Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book Balancing on Heels drops in 457 days, stopped by The Meredith Vieira Show today to promote not her book, but the idea of Kristin in general. Meredith Vieira, who is currently trailing Dr. Phil, Wendy Williams, and Steve Harvey in the daytime talk show ratings, welcomed her.
During future author Kristin Cavallari’s appearance on the ratings-challenged Meredith Viera Show yesterday, the two discussed, among other things, best practices for urine disposal. Kristin revealed that although she has neglected some parental duties, such as vaccination against deadly diseases, she has embraced others, such as: “potty training. “
As you may have read in Meredith Vieira’s increasingly desperate emails to you, Kristin Cavallari appeared on The Meredith Vieira Show on Monday. She wore a piped collar, she talked about her son’s urination habits, and according to a tipster, she did not chill with anyone besides herself.
Kristin Cavallari, who has a book about book coming out in 454 days, appeared on The Meredith Vieira Show on Monday. While she did not discuss the book or her (presumed) work on it so far, she did bring up the concept of time in general. It does not haunt her.
Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book Balancing on Heels drops in 452 days, has been hard at work researching...new conspiracy theories, apparently. She posted an article from InfoWars.com titled “Factory Farm Antibiotics Making Children Allergic to Fruits and Vegetables” on her app yesterday.
Aspiring lifestyle guru Kristin Cavallari ripped out a page from Gwyneth Paltrow’s cookbook this week, pinned it to her bulletin board, and smudged sage as she prayed for the transformation to be complete. “Dinner tonight was chicken burgers, bok choy, and black rice with peas a la @gwynethpaltrow,” she wrote on Instagram.
Fifty days after announcing she would produce a book in the next 500, Kristin Cavallari has provided evidence of her work on said book for the first time. Or rather, she has at least provided evidence that somebody has typed up some pages that may someday be a part of a book called Balancing on Heels by Kristin Cavallari.
Kristin Cavallari, power user of InfoWars.com and other Monsanto conspiracy trumpeting “health” websites, has identified the final piece of evidence on which she will base her forthcoming book’s argument in favor of an organic lifestyle. Except, of course, the evidence was proven wrong many times over before Kristin stumbled across it.
Not only does Kristin Cavallari balance on heels, she also designs a mid-priced line of them for Chinese Laundry, which is available online and in “select Nordstrom stores.” According to Kristin, these shoes are “staples.”
This week, Kristin Cavallari’s already fraught relationship with science deteriorated faster than her friendship with Stacy the Bartender on The Hills. Science is shady, dude. Do you even know what science has been up to behind Kristin’s back?
What goes through Kristin Cavallari’s mind all day?
Kristin Cavallari is a Capricorn.
She goes “back and forth” about using them.
While searching for Kristin Cavallari memorabilia on eBay a couple of weeks ago, I came across a rare and curious item: a magazine ad page for a little-seen reality show hosted by Kristin called Get This Party Started.
On the 58th day of Kristin, I revealed that I had recently discovered a rare piece of Kristin Cavallari memorabilia on eBay: a magazine page advertising a little-seen reality show called Get This Party Started, hosted by Kristin. The bidding started and ended at $5.99, and today I can reveal that the high bidder was: me! I did it. (I also paid an additional $3.00 for standard shipping.)
In 2006, Kristin Cavallari—whose debut book drops in 440 days—hosted a little-watched reality show called Get This Party Started on UPN. Here’s a paper advertisement for it. The program ran for only two episodes during the month of February, but at least five more were taped, never to air.
Almost 9 weeks ago, former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari commenced miserable toil on her debut book, which she has chosen to call Balancing on Heels. At the time, she stated the tome would encompass “really just everything in my life.” Today, we can finally reveal the first confirmed part of “everything.”
It’s 77 degrees and partly cloudy in Los Angeles today. Namaste.
Before Kristin Cavallari embarked on the ambitious journey of drafting her debut memoir Balancing on Heels—coming to an Amazon.com near you in 436 days—she was busy popularizing catchphrases like “butt-hurt” and “Stee-pheeennnnn” on MTV’s Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County.
In addition to designing jewelry, writing her forthcoming self-help book Balancing on Heels, and promoting a “natural” lifestyle by declining to vaccinate her children, Kristin Cavallari is—according to Kristin—active in her husband Jay Cutler’s charitable foundation. She revealed this Kristin fact in an interview with Michigan Avenue magazine last year.
Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book Balancing on Heels drops in 434 days, designs a line of mid-priced shoes that retail at select Nordstrom stores. Before you buy every pair of Kristin Cavallari for Chinese Laundry shoes available, consider that she likes some more than others. What is Kristin’s favorite heel to balance on?
Kristin Cavallari—mother; wife; Cavallari—is getting ready for Easter this weekend. She recently sat down with Yahoo! Makers (a branch of Yahoo! dedicated to DIY projects) to discuss her plans. Here is an excerpt from that interview:
In a recent interview with Yahoo! Makers about her Easter plans, Kristin was asked, “Do you have any secrets to preparing the house for the family to come over on Easter?” Kristin’s answer began with the following sentence: “I definitely don’t have any secrets.”
Future author Kristin Cavallari recently shared a post on her eponymous iPhone app about dyeing (or possibly already dead) Easter eggs. Here’s how Kristin described the experience:
Kristin Cavallari, who parlayed her social success in high school into a lifelong career of being Kristin, married Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler in 2013. He seemed to be popular in the continental U.S. at the time, but things change.
If you are wondering what you should wear to camouflage your problem areas on the beach this summer, future author Kristin Cavallari has some advice. In a post titled “Best Bathing Suit For Different Body Types,” (recently shared on the Kristin Cavallari Official App for iPhone and iPad), she emphasizes the importance of timely swimwear selection: “It’s that time of year! Sun, sand, and lots of skin. Picking out the right bathing suit is crucial to looking your best this summer.”
Kristin Cavallari recently took time out of her busy schedule writing a controversial anatomy textbook to offer swimsuit shopping advice to the women who have, either on purpose or through error, downloaded her eponymous iPhone app.
Today we will reveal another droplet of bikini wisdom from Kristin Cavallari, who recently typed up her thoughts on swimsuit shopping for a post on her eponymous iPhone app titled, “Best Bathing Suit For Different Body Types.”
There are many ways for a woman’s body to look a little off. It could be “pear shape.” It could seem pregnant when it is not pregnant. It could have a tummy. Luckily, Kristin has typed up swimsuit shopping advice for women who possess all of these cursed forms, as well as for women who have—no offense—small busts.
Kristin Cavallari recently announced on Instagram that “the Copertina is now available in Canada at @littleburgundyshoes in Yorkdale Shopping Centre and Toronto Eaton Centre!”
Wikipedia on Kristin’s love life: “Cavallari previously dated her Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County co-star Stephen Colletti and her The Hills co-star Brody Jenner.”
Last week, we relayed Kristin Cavallari’s swimsuit shopping advice for women with problem areas, as originally published on the Kristin Cavallari app for iPhone under the heading “Best Bathing Suit for Different Body Types.”
As is her wont, Kristin Cavallari shared a Fox News article on the Kristin Cavallari app for iPhone this week. The article, from February, is titled, “Suicide of Maraschino Cherry King Leaves Future of Company in Question.”
In a rare display of magnanimity on Instagram yesterday, Kristin Cavallari complimented the looks of two unnamed women who are currently competing on the reality show The Voice.
Before Kristin Cavallari was writing book about heels and how to balance on them, she dated a famous actor: Nick Zano, former cast member of the WB’s What I Like About You. It was 2006, Kristin was 20 years old, and she got his initials tattooed on the inside of her wrist.
The Iowa caucuses aren’t for another nine months, but Kristin Cavallari needs your vote—now. She posted the photo below to Instagram yesterday along with an appeal to the female electorate.
Kristin Cavallari recently posted a Yahoo! Health article on her eponymous app titled, “Popular Wines Contain High Levels of Arsenic, Lawsuit Alleges”.
I’m on vacation this week. Here’s a photo of Kristin Cavallari on vacation in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, with the cast of Laguna Beach in 2005.
I’m on vacation this week. Here’s a 2006 photo of Kristin Cavallari on the beach in Malibu with then-boyfriend Brody Jenner.
I’m on vacation this week. Here’s a GIF of Kristin Cavallari enjoying herself while on vacation in Costa Rica with the cast of The Hills in 2011.
I’m on vacation this week. Here’s a photo of Kristin vacationing with two Kardashians in Miami Beach in 2008. At the time, she was the most famous person in the picture.
I’m on vacation this week. Here’s a photo of Kristin enjoying a piña colada on vacation in Las Vegas in 2010.
I’m on vacation this week. Here’s a photo of Kristin frowning at a copy of Vision In White by Nora Roberts—a book about a wedding planner—while on vacation with her now-husband Jay Cutler in Miami in 2011.
It appears future author Kristin Cavallari has joined Pinterest under the name “KristinCavi.”
One potato, two potato, three potato, none potato: This is the conundrum in which Kristin Cavallari recently found herself embroiled. “Ladies,” cried Kristin to her sisters—the mothers, the she-wolves, the ducks, and the sows—“I need your help!”
Four hundred and six days until Kristin Cavallari’s debut memoir drops, and she is already shooting the cover photo. It’s of Kristin. She writes on Instagram, “Goofing off getting ready to start shooting for the cover of Balancing In Heels!!! Such an exciting day for me [confetti emoji]”
If you perused Instagram yesterday, you might have seen the following photo posted by future author Kristin Cavallari:
It has come to our attention that Kristin Cavallari’s husband Jay Cutler’s birthday was on Wednesday (Taurus). He is 32. Happy birthday!
In a 2011 interview with Life & Style, budding memoirist Kristin Cavallari described her personal style as “comfortable, flirty, and ever-changing.”
Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book Balancing Around Heels drops in 402 days, shot the cover image for said book this week. She showed us one potential cover photo, but she wishes she could show us more. Kristin writes on Instagram:
Many days of Kristin ago, the world ceased to rotate on its axis for one brief moment when someone—specifically Kristin’s husband Jay Cutler’s coworker Kyle Long—stated that actress Olivia Munn was hotter than future author Kristin Cavallari. Breaking her legendary silence on the matter, Kristin remarked to Us Weekly last night that Kyle was just joking.
One hundred sunsets into her memoir-writing journey, Kristin Cavallari has begun to steer the country away from fugly flats and into heels. Though her legislative gains have been meager—some might say non-existent—Kristin has attacked her overarching goal of putting her life’s work on the record with enthusiasm.
Fledgling memoirist Kristin Cavallari posted a photo of herself with bangs on Instagram yesterday. Caption: “Having fun on set with my #secretbangs and @thescottycunha @mr_nicolasbru.”
Earlier this week, aspiring author Kristin Cavallari assured Us Weekly that she’d be A-ok hanging out with Olivia Munn, even if some people think Olivia Munn is hotter than her. And you know what? For Kristin, life of the party, it doesn’t stop there. There are plenty of other attractive women Kristin would like to see socially.
Yesterday was Kristin Cavallari’s younger son Jax’s birthday—we totally forgot. He is now one year old. Here are some facts about Jax:
In a 2011 interview with Life & Style, future author Kristin Cavallari revealed that her favorite place to sleep—besides in her own bed—is “the Gansevoort hotel in NYC.”
Kristin is pregnant.
As you know—truly, as you’ve always known—Kristin Cavallari is pregnant. She announced the news on the Kristin Cavallari app for iPhone on Monday, and it’s since been picked up by E! News, Us Weekly, and the like. But what do the people who really know Kristin think of her announcement?
Sometime after becoming pregnant with her third child, Kristin Cavallari posed for a photo shoot. The resulting images were posted to the Instagram account of “DISfunksion magazine” this week, which is, to the best of our knowledge, some kind of publication.
Truth and time tells all, but The Hills’ Justaan Bobbay will live forever. Kristin’s former coworker and (alleged) ex-boyfriend Justin Bobby Brescia recently emerged from wherever he’s been to do an interview with Us Weekly about his current career as a hairstylist. His salon is right in his Manhattan loft.
On Monday, Kristin Cavallari announced that she is pregnant with her third child. Here are some other women who are currently gestating:
Future author Kristin Cavallari is pregnant and sober, thank you for asking. She recently posted a photo from a “wine tasting” on Instagram—a wine tasting at which she did not taste wine.
Kristin Cavallari has done reality shows before, but would she do one again? The last time she was pregnant—with son Jaxon Wyatt, 12 months—she told Fit Pregnancy, “We get reality show offers all the time and we’re like, ‘No.’ Family is so sacred, why mess with that?”
Years before the idea to write a book ever crossed her beautiful mind, Kristin Cavallari starred in a music video for a now-forgotten white guy with a guitar named Teddy Geiger. In the 2006 video for his song “For You I Will (Confidence),” Kristin plays an Ugg-wearing siren who haunts the bottom of a backyard pool.
Perhaps you’ve heard: Kristin Cavallari is expecting. (A lot from life in general, apparently, and also a baby.) The fledgling memoirist is, by my count, about 115 days into her pregnancy, which means that a baby shower must be on the horizon. What will this party entail? A reality show that she would absolutely not do again? If history’s any indication, then yes.
Kristin Cavallari claims to know a lot: she promises her debut book (due out in 384 days) will cover fashion, beauty, “mommy and wife stuff,” health, fitness, and “really just everything” in her life. Will it include facts about her adopted city of Chicago—The Big Onion—Kristin’s Kind of Town—as well? Perhaps, because she also knows that.
Though she has been busy preparing for the birth of her third child and introducing Chicago to the world, Kristin Cavallari did work on her debut book this week. On Tuesday, she wrote on Instagram, “Great first day for the Balancing In Heels shoot all week.”
Kristin got a star on her foot.
We all have our missions in this life. For some, their mission is to create. For others, their mission is to heal. For still others, their mission is to teach; that’s Kristin Cavallari’s mission—to teach about Kristin Cavallari.
As Memorial Day prompts us to remember the fallen soldiers who fought for our country, so too are we reminded that Kristin Cavallari once attended a Marine Corps Ball in San Diego, California. In 2011, Kristin said “yes” to Lance Cpl. Jonathan Burkett when he asked her to the dance on Twitter.
I forgot to post yesterday’s. Do you think Kristin noticed?
Gold is the hair of Kristin
And brown are the eyes
Peach/tan is the skin of Kristin
But what is the height?
Yesterday I woke up confused, like I’d been bludgeoned with a turquoise bangle in my sleep. It turns out that I was just remembering a blog post on People’s website titled, “9 Reasons Kristin Cavallari Is Even More Stylish Than We Thought.” Is she? Even more stylish than we thought? Please hand me two baby aspirin and we’ll discuss.
“There’s a ton” of new Kristin Cavallari-branded jewelry available for purchase online today, according to Kristin. Two new items from her line called Emerald Duv—pronunciation unknown—are especially exciting. One is called “Little Brown Around,” the other, “Little Squiggle.” Can you guess what they are?
Yesterday, we noted that Kristin Cavallari is selling two new jewelry items with mysterious names. One is called “Little Brown Around,” the other, “Little Squiggle.” What do these names mean? What exactly is Kristin selling?
Spring’s dramatic weather fluctuations have lately made dressing difficult for some—but Kristin Cavallari’s style is only getting more stylish and good. We think. We thought? Who knows; let’s ask People.
In January, Kristin Cavallari announced that her debut memoir and lifestyle book Balancing in Heels (originally titled Balancing on Heels) would be available for purchase sometime in the far, far distant future of spring 2016. Today—128 Days Later—Kristin writes on Instagram:
Earlier this week, former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari announced that she has finished writing her debut “lifestyle” “book,” Balancing in Heels. The project—originally titled Balancing on Heels—is set for publication many, many months from now. When will we, the wretched, be able to purchase it?
In 2012, years before Kristin Cavallari ever considered writing the book she now claims to have finished, Dear Doctor–a magazine for dental professionals and patients that I have never personally seen but am willing to believe exists—posed a question to its readers. “Who’s got the best celebrity smile of 2012?”
Yesterday, we revealed that in 2012, Kristin Cavallari became a one-time winner of the Best Celebrity Smile contest in Dear Doctor magazine—a periodical for dental professionals and patients. How did Kristin respond to this honor?
Today—June 8, 2015—is Kristin Cavallari’s second wedding anniversary with her husband, Bears quarterback Jay Cutler. Aww.
It’s been 135 days since Kristin Cavallari commenced work on her debut memoir, The Book Formerly Known As Balancing on Heels, and I began following her efforts with this column. Though I have not yet been able to review Kristin’s work (365 more days), today she has chosen to review mine.
While some people spend their days leading hiking tours of state parks or teaching algebra to our nation’s youth, others—namely the eponymous people at People magazine—spend their days coming up with reasons that Kristin Cavallari is even more stylish than we thought. (We at Defamer spend our days analyzing those reasons.)
If have been looking for relationship and/or general life advice from Kristin Cavallari—and god, why wouldn’t you be—you can probably find some in her book, due out in 363 days. Until then, we must make do with what we’re given, which is the wisdom found in a Twitter “live chat” with @KristinCav hosted by Cosmo and sponsored by Revlon.
In recent interview with Elle (dot com), Kristin Cavallari expressed distaste for the city of Chicago—the city that her husband plays football for, and the city that, just last month, she claimed to really “know.” Well, Kristin knows what she does not like. “Chicago’s just not home,” she told Elle (dot com).
Someone other than Kristin Cavallari recently wore a pair of Kristin Cavallari for Chinese Laundry heels on the “red carpet.” Can you guess who it was?
Important message from Kristin Cavallari via the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android: there is an “exciting update” coming to the app. What could it be?
Do you have a particular outfit that you really regret wearing say 10, 15, or 20 years ago? If you can picture it in your head, and it is, indeed, regrettable, congratulations: you’re stylish. According to People, anyway.
As avid readers of the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android may remember, Kristin posted a “healthy living” tip about taking magnesium supplements on the app almost one year ago. The post itself is innocuous: Kristin takes magnesium because she thinks it will cure what so dreadfully ails her; she reminds the public that this is just her opinion and she is “obviously not a doctor.”
If you haven’t sent the dad in your life a gift for Father’s Day yet, it is basically too late—sorry. However, if you find a hole in the space-time continuum and decide to use it to go back in time to three days ago when you should have bought him a present, here are some shopping suggestions from Jay Cutler, husband of Kristin Cavallari.
When Kristin Cavallari first announced her debut book back in January, she called it Balancing on Heels. Months later, she surreptitiously started referring to the tome as Balancing in Heels, and she has yet to explain why. If you thought that was enough messing around for one pamphlet full of vaccination advice, let me tell you something right now: Kristin is not done.
Here’s to the man who raised Kristin Cavallari: her dad, Dennis.
Kristin Cavallari has promised us many things over the last 148 days: a review of Krill oil, a “cute new web series,” and of course, a book about her life. She has finally delivered on one of those pledges—can you guess which one?
In a recent interview with Elle (dot com), Kristin Cavallari made a characteristically aggressive statement about her adopted city of Chicago: “Chicago’s just not home.” The people of the Big Onion were upset, or course—not that Kristin cares. Her husband, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, is now working feverishly to mend some bombed out, totally destroyed, most likely utterly irreparable fences.
Since 2014, Kristin Cavallari has occasionally updated the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android with nonsensical items like “Best Bathing Suit For Different Body Types” and “The Secrets of Bone Broth,” which is her right as an American citizen. She has generously provided these semi-coherent musings free of charge...
Kristin Cavallari has all kinds of advice: drink bone broth; don’t vaccinate your children; buy my book; blah, blah blah. Yesterday, she offered another bit of her trademark uninformed counsel to fantasy football players: pick her husband, Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler, first round in the fantasy draft.
Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book is due out in 348 days, recently filmed a television show, according to Kristin Cavallari. To inform the public of this new venture, she posted a photo of herself standing next to a (Catholic?) church clutching her pregnant stomach on Instagram.
Kristin Cavallari is currently pregnant with her first book (Balancing in Heels) and her third child (as yet unnamed, but perhaps it is helpful to note she named her first two kids Camden and Jaxon). By Defamer’s calculations, Kristin is well into her second trimester now, which is the perfect time for a pregnancy photo shoot.
Would Kristin Cavallari, who is pregnant, pose nude (while pregnant)? That’s the question we asked yesterday, and today, we will provide Kristin’s answer. If you have not had time to ponder this question yet, you may do so quietly in your head now.
Like a majority of citizens across these United States, former reality star and current designer of the Kristin Cavallari for Chinese Laundry shoe line Kristin Cavallari welcomed the Supreme Court’s landmark gay marriage decision on Friday. She celebrated her shoes:
Is Kristin Cavallari even more stylish than we thought?
Seven days of Kristin ago, Ms. Kristin Cavallari did a rude thing: She made the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android, which was once free, cost $2.99. Per month. Her followers were outraged, announcing in droves on Instagram that they would be deleting the app and reading Lauren Conrad’s free blog instead.
Below is the text of a blind item from May 4, 2007:
As you enjoy your burgers, your beer, and your patriotic crop tops this weekend, remember: “Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.”
In honor of Independence Day, we will now relay an independent thought Kristin Cavallari once had about politics.
It’s Kristin Cavallari’s half-birthday. Today, she is 28.5 years old.
One year ago this month, Kristin Cavallari went shopping. I mean, of course she did, but I know for a fact she went shopping at a certain bargain home furnishings chain store in Los Angeles because there are many, many, many meticulously staged paparazzi photos of this shopping excursion available for purchase and publication online.
Kristin Cavallari, proprietor of the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android, has published several posts on the app under her byline over the last year—posts with words and almost-words like “anyways,” “techy,” “science lab,” and “bakini.”
Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book Balancing in Heels (f.k.a Balancing on Heels) is due out in 346 days, is even more stylish than we thought—according to the “we” who work at People.com. In a recent blog post titled, “9 Reasons Kristin Cavallari Is Even More Stylish Than We Thought,” the magazine website lays out its dubious case.
Sixty-four days of Kristin ago, incipient author Kristin Cavallari teased yet another one of her varied, seemingly random projects: Secret Bangs™. “Having fun on set with my #secretbangs,” she wrote in the caption of an Instagram photo of her wearing fake bangs. She’s since deleted the photo—for some reason—but the bangs...the bangs live on.
Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book Balancing in Heels is scheduled to to enter this world in 344 days, is also pregnant with a baby who will get here much faster. Kristin announced via Instagram last night that the child will be girl.
On Thursday evening, Kristin Cavallari announced via Instagram that her forthcoming baby will be a girl. “Our new addition!” Kristin exclaimed in the caption of photo of her holding little pink sneakers. “The boys are so excited to have a little sister on the way!!!”
Below is a 2013 Getty photo of Kristin Cavallari applying lip gloss at the ULTA Beauty “Kiss Cart,” which somehow benefitted the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.
Twenty days of Kristin ago, Kristin Cavallari chose to forsake her followers in pursuit of cold, hard cash by making the once free-to-access Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android cost $2.99. Per month. Readers (?) of the app revolted, and so seven days later, Kristin quietly expressed a change of heart.
Il ya vingt jours de Kristin, Kristin Cavallari a choisi de renoncer à ses disciples dans la poursuite de froid, espèces sonnantes et trébuchantes en faisant l’officiel une fois libre d’accès Kristin Cavallari App pour iPhone et Android coûte 2,99 $. Par mois. Les lecteurs (?) De l’application se révoltèrent, et ainsi de sept jours plus tard, Kristin tranquillement exprimé un changement de cœur.
As she will proudly tell you, fledgling memoirist Kristin Cavallari named her one of her sons “Camden” and the other “Jaxon.” While no other Earth child currently carries the name Jaxon, there are other Camdens. One of those lesser Camdens, in particular, makes Kristin feel bitchy.
Congratulations are in order: Kristin Cavallari, official spokesperson of the fake bangs company Secret Bangs™, has made a sale...to Defamer.com. Today we purchased one pair of Secret Bangs™ in the secret shade of “Dark Blonde” for $29.99. Here’s hoping they look just like this:
Five years ago this week, Kristin Cavallari attended Comic-Con in San Diego, where she spoke to a CNN iReporter for some reason. The reporter did not want to know much about Kristin, but he did ask about Lindsay Lohan, who had just surrendered to jail for failing to attend court-ordered alcohol education classes. “Let’s talk about Lindsay Lohan,” he said. Kristin obliged.
In January 2013, former reality TV personality Kristin Cavallari attended a branded, semi-outdoor event for Gillette razors in Chicago. Though the weather was surely freezing, she gave the paparazzi a rare opportunity to take photos of her.
In 2007, Kristin Cavallari took home the “One to Watch” award at Moveline’s Hollywood Life 9th Annual Young Hollywood Awards.
Yesterday, on the 176th day of Kristin, Max Read resigned as editor-in-chief of Gawker, and we did not record Kristin Cavallari’s daily activities on this site.
In 2011, Kristin Cavallari—whose debut memoir Balancing in Heels (f.k.a. Balancing on Heels) is due out in 321 days—competed as a Star on the 13th season of Dancing with the Stars. She was the third contestant to be eliminated, besting only Metta World Peace and one of George Clooney’s ex-girlfriends.
Kristin Cavallari, a woman who does not eat egg whites, additives, “parabins,” or most shrimp (unless she knows where the shrimp is coming from), must consume something to survive. But what? Last year, the blog “The Skinny Confidential” helpfully compiled a list of things Kristin has admitted to eating (in writing).
Earlier this week, Kristin Cavallari received flowers from a loved one: People StyleWatch magazine.
It has come to our attention (via Kristin) that a person who calls herself “Coke Breath” has positively reviewed the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android.
Fledgling memoirist Kristin Cavallari has offered her followers yet another “sneak peek” into the her life via an ad for her mid-priced shoe line, Kristin Cavallari for Chinese Laundry. The following short Instagram video—intended to sell the public on shoes designed by Kristin Cavallari—shows Kristin balancing in heels of all colors, smiling, and not saying anything:
i’m having fun
On September 29, 2009, The Daily Beast released a blockbuster report that shook our nation to its core. With its publication, previously guarded information became public to American citizens for the first time: the (inflated) salaries of the women and men then starring on MTV’s reality TV dramedy The Hills.
Have you ever wondered how Kristin Cavallari, who announced her debut book roughly 500 days before its scheduled publication date, “does it all”? Beauty blog Byrdie.com conspires to exclusively answer this question in a new interview with Kristin. It’s titled:
Kristin Cavallari, who’s promised to release her first book within the next 313 days, hit a career milestone last night. Her accomplishment is as follows: The LAUREL bootie is now in 25 @nordstrom stores!!!
Kristin Cavallari, who is currently pregnant with her third baby, has not yet done a magazine cover shoot to promote this forthcoming addition to her family. When she was pregnant with her first child in 2012, however, she landed a cover shoot and interview with Glamoholic magazine. Here’s a photo from the shoot, preserved online at Glamoholic.com.
Illustrating once again that she cannot keep a secret (see: bangs), would-be memoirist Kristin Cavallari recently revealed one to Life & Style magazine during a “fun facts” interview. When asked to divulge her “hidden talent,” she obliged. Can you guess what Kristin’s hidden talent is?
CEO of the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android Kristin Cavallari recently consented to an interview with Byrdie.com, a beauty blog, about how she “does it all.” The resulting article, which we briefly discussed last week, is titled, “Exclusive: How Kristin Cavallari Does It All (and Still Looks Amazing).”
TOP STORY: For approximately one hour this afternoon, future published author Kristin Cavallari was the subject of a top story on Us Weekly’s website. “Pregnant Kristin Cavallari Cradles Her Bump in Tight Black Dress, Suede Booties: See the Pic!” held the number four spot on the site’s sidebar from about 1:45 p.m. until 3:01 p.m. Haters and doubters please see below:
In a recent interview with the beauty blog Byrdie.com titled—I’m serious—“Exclusive: How Kristin Cavallari Does It All (And Still Looks Amazing),” Kristin was asked about her online media diet. Specifically, the Byrdie blog wondered, “What sites do you visit for health and beauty inspiration?”
Would-be memoirist Kristin Cavallari has noted in multiple interviews over the past two years that designing her mid-priced shoe line for Chinese Laundry has been a dream come true for her. We recently unearthed another interview with the style blog “A Treasure Hunt” that sheds more light on how Kristin feels about her design accomplishments.
Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book is due out in 305 days, posted this photo to Instagram yesterday:
Happy belated birthday to Kristin Cavallari’s firstborn child Camden Jack Cutler, who turned three yesterday! Here he is with his dad, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler:
Kristin Cavallari recently consented to an interview with the beauty blog Byrdie.com, which resulted in the instant classic blog post, “How Kristin Cavallari Does It All (and Still Looks Amazing).” We’ve already discussed a couple questions from the interview, like “Where do you find inspiration for the content on your app?” and “What sites do you visit for health and beauty inspiration?”
ATTN: social media intern who runs the Twitter account for the shoe company Chinese Laundry–You have made a grave error from which you will never, ever recover. To make matters worse, it was Kristin Cavallari, lead designer of the Kristin Cavallari for Chinese Laundry shoe line, who discovered it.
In a new (free to access) post on the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android, future published author Kristin Cavallari reveals one of the fastest-growing problems now facing our nation’s Whole Foods class: “inflammation.” Inflammation—a word that, in the way Kristin is using it, means “feeling puffy”—is a plague that requires treatment by a professional. A professional Integrative Nutrition Health Counselor that is. Good thing Kristin knows one.
Like a C-student proudly delivering completed homework to the teacher for the first time all semester, Kristin Cavallari announced progress on her forthcoming book today, the 200th day of Kristin. One hundred days have passed since Defamer last evaluated her work on Balancing in Heels (formerly known as Balancing on Heels, Kristin’s original idea for the title), and today, we can officially state that Kristin has accomplished at least one item during that time period.
Two nights ago, former reality TV star and fledgling memoirist Kristin Cavallari shared something personal with the world: she dreams. To illustrate this revelation, she posted a photo on Instagram of a bottle with a message inside. (The message: “Dream.”)
In a recent post on the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android, app founder Kristin Cavallari revealed the hot new fashion item she’ll be wearing next season. “From morning meetings to evening drinks,” she writes, this trend is fire. Can you guess what it is?
What should you wear this fall? Kristin Cavallari’s got an idea.
Below is an Instagram photo of Kristin Cavallari holding Paula Hawkins’ novel The Girl on the Train, which debuted at number one on the New York Times fiction bestseller list in February.
Exactly one month and two days ago, I placed an online order for one pair of Secret Bangs™, a product which Kristin Cavallari has endorsed on social media and in an infomercial. Secret Bangs™ are synthetic bangs attached to a headband (the secret). They cost $29.99 per pair and look like this:
Have you ever seen a pair of Secret Bangs™ in the wild?
Attention web people: Kristin Cavallari has made an official Facebook page. One of her first posts is a photo of a muffin and glass of creamy, speckled something:
Kristin Cavallari is many things: a wife, mother, jewelry designer, CEO of the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android, and now, an electric toothbrush salesman. She’s loving the galactic trend:
Chance is the ultimate boot for fall, according to Kristin Cavallari, who wrote in the caption of an Instagram post today, “Chance is the ultimate boot for fall.”
This week, Kristin Cavallari posted a recipe for “homemade coconut kefir”—something you eat—on Instagram. “It’s so easy,” Kristin says.
In a series of (free to access) posts on the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android, Kristin Cavallari has forecasted some hot trends for fall. So far, she’s recommended “menswear” and “jeans.” What’s next?
In a new post on the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android, Kristin Cavallari has recommended yet another hot trend for fall. Previously, she recommended “menswear” and “jeans.” We noted yesterday that this new trend has pleats. Did you guess what it is?
While promoting her line of shoes for Chinese Laundry last fall, Kristin Cavallari assured potential buyers of the timelessness of her designs. “Everything in my line, for the most part, is a staple,” she said. “They’re all classic shoes that you’ll wear forever.” Guess what Kristin’s got for you this season?
Sixty-nine days of Kristin ago, Kristin Cavallari made a business decision regarding the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android: She started charging her followers $2.99—per month—to access “exclusive” content on the app. In the intervening weeks, however, she has relented slightly; she’s posted several articles like “Menswear Trends,” “Handbags,” and “Will New ‘Spray GMOs’ Reignite the FrankenFood Debate?” that are free to access, should anyone desire to read them.
Nine days of Kristin ago, Kristin Cavallari—author of the forthcoming book Balancing in Heels, formerly titled Balancing on Heels—issued a decree. “Chance is the ultimate boot for fall,” she wrote in an Instagram caption.
Today, Kristin Cavallari–whose debut book about “really just everything” in her life hits shelves in 279 days—published an article on her app titled “Fall Shoe Style.” It is, apparently, the final installment in her series of “fall trend” posts; Kristin previously recommended “menswear,” “pleated maxi skirts,” and “jeans.”
During a Twitter Q and A sponsored by Revlon® cosmetics earlier this summer, Kristin Cavallari was asked about the timeline of her relationship with her current husband, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler. Here’s how she put it:
In 2011, Kristin Cavallari designed her first shoe for a company called Shoe Dazzle, which was founded by Kim Kardashian. Kristin discussed this accomplishment in an interview with CosmoGIRL!, in which she revealed that she named the shoe after her “style icon”:
Next Sunday, the Chicago Bears—led by quarterback Jay Cutler—will play their first game of the regular NFL season. What will Kristin Cavallari, who is married to Jay, be doing then? Perhaps making bacon-wrapped butternut squash, as she did for a YouTube video about tailgate snacks for The Frisky last season.
Happy Labor Day! Here is an old photo of Kristin Cavallari doing one of her most visible jobs: playing Kristin Cavallari on The Hills.
In January, former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari announced that she was writing her first book, due out in the spring of 2016. She said at the time that the tome—then titled Balancing on Heels—would be about “really just everything in my life.”
From the daring mind who brought you almond butter cookies and “we didn’t vaccinate [our children]”: “Cheeseless queso.” Would-be memoirist Kristin Cavallari touted this culinary innovation in an Instagram post yesterday; the recipe will appear in her forthcoming book, Balancing in Heels.
a little bit every day
Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book Balancing in Heels f.k.a. Balancing on Heels hits shelves in 272 days, wrote something yesterday. It was a post on the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android titled, “Fall Night Outfits.”
Two hundred and twenty-nine days ago, Kristin Cavallari commenced work on her debut memoir Balancing in Heels, a book she says will cover “really just everything in my life.” Throughout the writing process, Kristin’s found time to work on her shoe line, for which there will be a party in New York next week.
Kristin Cavallari says: “Gray day.”
Jay Cutler, the quarterback of the Chicago Bears and the husband of Kristin Cavallari, did not prevail against the Green Bay Packers in his first game of the season today. Is Kristin’s “Cheeseless queso” to blame?
Since she published her landmark advice column “Best Bathing Suit for Different Body Types” on the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android, Kristin Cavallari has made one thing clear: she considers herself to be petite. She’s not curvy; she’s not small-breasted; she’s not “pear shape.”
Kristin Cavallari is currently in New York City to host the Kristin Cavallari for Chinese Laundry Kia Style360 New York Fashion Week party, but this morning, she made time to host something else. Alongside a woman who used to be married to Billy Joel, Kristin co-hosted Yahoo! Style’s one-week-only online news show, “#NYFWCoffeeBreak.”
As Kristin Cavallari will tell you, tonight marks Kristin Cavallari’s third appearance at New York Fashion Week. She is hosting a party for the Kristin Cavallari for Chinese Laundry shoe line, of course. But what was Kristin’s first NYFW appearance?
On Day 61 of Kristin, Kristin Cavallari made an announcement on Instagram about her forthcoming book Balancing in Heels (then titled Balancing on Heels). “Just perfected these almond butter cookies,” she wrote. “Recipe is going in my book, Balancing On Heels [thumbs up emoji].”
As promised, Kristin Cavallari has published another tailgating snack recipe on the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android in honor of football season. (The first recipe she posted was for “cheeseless queso.”) Today’s snack? “Stuffed jalapeños.”
In a recent, exclusive interview with PerezHilton.com, Kristin Cavallari discussed her stature (“very petite”), her career, and how she balances it all. It turns out that Kristin can’t say “yes” to every opportunity to host an event that comes her way.
Kristin Cavallari is currently pregnant with a baby girl due this fall. (Her book is due many months later.) Ever the planner, Kristin—who named her first two children Camden and Jaxon—has already picked out a name for baby number three.
In a recent interview with the baby registry site Cricket’s Circle, fledging memoirist Kristin Cavallari revealed much about her life, including what she’s naming her baby after (a dog). She also offered some relationship advice:
For the alleged benefit of those who have downloaded the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android, Kristin Cavallari announced at the beginning of football season that she would release one of her favorite tailgating recipes each week on the app.
What’s a “push present?” According to Wikipedia, “a push present (also known as a push gift, baby mama gift or baby bauble) is a present a father gives to the mother to mark the occasion of her giving birth to their child.” According to Kristin Cavallari, she’s all for it.
Kristin Cavallari is so happy fall weather is here.
Last week, Kristin Cavallari—whose debut book Balancing in Heels hits shelves in 255 days—made an appearance at The Blonds New York Fashion Week runway show and the subsequent Just Jared write-up of the event titled, “Kelly Osbourne Sits Front Row At The Blonds NYFW Show with Bette Midler!”
As Kristin Cavallari will tell you multiple times without being asked, she identifies as “petite.” Whether she’s discussing the “best bathing suit for different body types” or literally anything at all, Kristin consistently insists the people recognize her for what she is: puhteet.
we have fun
500 Days of Kristin, Day 247: Kristin’s Husband Won’t Be There When She Gives Birth But It’s Fine It Is What It Is
Kristin Cavallari is currently pregnant with her third child (due by Defamer’s calculations in approximately 33 days) and a book called Balancing in Heels (due much, much later). While Kristin’s husband might be around for her book party, he’s not going to make the baby launch.
Since MTV’s Laguna Beach premiered on September 28, 2004, Kristin Cavallari has given countless interviews to the press about the nature of Kristin Cavallari. In 2007, she landed a five-photo spread with GQ, which was accompanied by a short but revealing Q & A.
Two hundred and fifty days ago, former reality TV star Kristin Cavallari announced that she was writing a book to be released sometime in the spring of 2016. Balancing in Heels (formerly titled Balancing on Heels—Kristin’s first choice of title) now has an official cover image and a website where you can pre-order it.
Kristin Cavallari’s hair and makeup Wednesday:
It’s a Football Sunday, which means Kristin Cavallari—whose debut book Balancing in Heels hits shelves in 248 days—has posted a tailgating snack recipe on her app. It’s for spinach-artichoke dip.
Kristin Cavallari—mother to Camden Jack, Jaxon Wyatt, and a forthcoming baby to be named after a dog—recently spoke to People.com’s Moms&Babies section about the challenges of being a mom and a Kristin Cavallari.
Kristin Cavallari, an important designer for the Kristin Cavallari for Chinese Laundry shoe label, is having a good week. This is due to the fact that Kristin’s fringed “Cassie” boot made it into Life & Style Weekly’s “Designer or Deal?” column. The point of the column, if you’re not familiar and bad at guessing, is to get readers to guess which of two similar items is a “designer” piece, and which is a “deal.”
500 Days of Kristin, Day 257: Who Wore it Best, Kim Kardashian or Kristin? (The Answer Will Surprise You)
Kim Kardashian currently stars on the reality show Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Kristin Cavallari used to star on the reality show The Hills. You might think the similarities between the two end there, but you’re wrong, because Kristin and Kim Kardashian also dress alike, because Kristin copies Kim Kardashian. (Busted!!!!!)
Here’s a photo of Kristin Cavallari debuting the cover of her forthcoming book, Balancing in Heels, at an event for her shoe line at New York Fashion Week last month:
At the beginning of football season, Kristin Cavallari promised to post a new “tailgating recipe” on the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android each week for a month. Her wild scam ends today.
500 Days of Kristin, Day 261: You’ve Been Throwing Out the Healthiest Part of Avocados This Entire Time
A message from Kristin Cavallari, via the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android: “You’ve been throwing out the healthiest part of avocados this entire time.”
In a recent interview with People.com’s Moms&Babies section, Kristin Cavallari revealed much about her home life with Jay Cutler and her two sons, Camden and Jaxon. For one thing, Camden said the F-word once. For another, dinner time is 5:45 p.m.
500 Days of Kristin, Day 264: Don’t Drag Kristin Into That Shit Anymore, She Has Enough Money, Probably
Kristin Cavallari, who, by participating in the MTV reality shows Laguna Beach and The Hills, has risen to a level of celebrity that’s afforded her the opportunity to write a book about her life that will be sold for money, would not like to be dragged into that shit anymore, Us Weekly.
Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book all about her life and opinions hits shelves in 233 days, is currently pregnant with her third child. Since she announced this news on her app, Kristin has provided the public with several images of her “baby bump” via Instagram. Here are three.
Kristin Cavallari is full of surprises, one of them being that “the family of Hoover® Cordless vacuums helps Kristin stay in front of every mess and focus on what’s really important—family, work and football!”
Baby bump coming through.
As a press release from Noble Communications on behalf of Hoover® revealed this week, Kristin Cavallari loves her Hoover® Cordless Vacuum. Her admiration for the cordless vac is so strong, in fact, that Kristin did an interview with a local Baltimore TV station about it.
Here it is.
Below, a photo of Kristin Cavallari making out with a giraffe in 2013.
Kristin Cavallari—designer of shoes, jewelry, and a lifestyle that might ambitiously and generously be termed “natural”—posted a photo of a new pair of shoes she designed on Instagram today. Guess what: These shoes got zippers.
Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book Balancing in Heels (formerly titled Balancing on Heels) is shuffling toward a bookstore near you, recently sat down with PopSugar for an interview about her life. Ever wonder what Kristin and her husband Jay Cutler do on date night?
Two hundred and seventy-seven days ago, Kristin Cavallari commenced work on her debut book, Balancing in Heels (formerly titled Balancing on Heels—Kristin’s first choice of title). At the time, she said the tome would encompass “really just everything” in her life. Many are still wondering what that means, but today Kristin offered a clue.
Oh boy. Today Kristin writes on Instagram that she is keeping busy “in the kitchen.”
Last week, we learned a new thing about Kristin Cavallari, which is that she loves to clean her house with a Hoover® Cordless Vacuum. She did not reveal this news herself, however—it was Hoover® that trumpeted it with a press release. Kristin has remained silent on her apparent relationship with the vacuum...until now.
Kristin Cavallari (The Hills) recently went grocery shopping. By her own account, something “got” her while she was there. What was it?
In a recent interview with Entertainment Tonight, Kristin Cavallari remarked not on her forthcoming book (same book we’ve been talking about this whole time) but on the upcoming arrival of her third child. According to Kristin, there have been some “rumors” about this baby.
Future published author Kristin Cavallari has such an affinity for Brigitte Bardot that she’s named both a shoe and a dog after her. But Miss Brigitte is not the only blond bombshell Kristin relates to, it turns out. She also likes Marilyn Monroe:
Kristin Cavallari, author of the forthcoming advice book and memoir Balancing in Heels (formerly titled Balancing on Heels), revealed today that she is on the cover of the December/January issue of American Baby.
Did you hear? Kristin Cavallari, whose (baby) due date is fast approaching, is on the cover of the December/January issue of American Baby. In a new video promoting the issue, Kristin tells a story about seeing a penis.
As you’ve surely heard by now, Kristin Cavallari is American Baby’s December/January cover star. In the issue, she reveals, among other things, that she is planning to use a hand-me-down crib for her third child.
If all goes according to (God’s) plan, Kristin Cavallari will become a published author in the spring of 2016. She is currently urging the public to pre-order her book, Balancing in Heels. But what other books does Kristin recommend?
It’s been several days since we checked the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android. What’s going on there? “More fall fashion.”
As it says in the “Charity work and public image” section of her Wikipedia page, Kristin Cavallari once appeared in ads for PETA, the animal rights organization favored by celebutantes who want to pose nude “for a cause.” Though Kristin did not actually appear naked in her ad, which aired sometime between 2006 and 2007, she did roll around on the floor with a bunny and offer her candid thoughts about wearing fur.
Maybe on Day 300?
Recognize this face?
His name is Mike.
Since the end of September, Kristin Cavallari has posted 26 links on her public Facebook page. Four of those links concern Kristin personally. The other 22 are links to articles on LittleThings.com, a viral parenting/DIY content factory with an occasionally conservative bent.
Kristin Cavallari informs us that her dear friend Pippy Pom has written a book.
Kristin Cavallari is expecting her third child—a girl to be named after a dog—“any day now....[pink bow emoji][pink hearts emoji].” If you don’t believe that, please see the following photo of Kristin making a heart over her belly with her hands:
Over the years, Kristin Cavallari has opened up about her life to magazines like American Baby, CosmoGIRL!, and Dear Doctor (the premier periodical for dental professionals). But perhaps the most revealing interview was Kristin’s with Line magazine last year.
Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. (Matthew 1:18)
What is Kristin Cavallari doing this Thanksgiving? Playing a video game, if you can believe that.
Kristin Cavallari’s jewelry line Emerald Duv (“Emerald Duv”) is on sale all the way through Monday.
Kristin Cavallari has previously alleged that the various peep toe pumps and fringed booties she’s designed for Chinese Laundry are “staples.” Those heels are not the only items Kristin thinks a gal should have in her closet, however. In a new post on the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android, she revealed:
Kristin Cavallari’s favorite celebrity news outlet is perhaps E! News. E! does not drag her into drama and shit, like Us Weekly does, and it was E! that first broke the news that Kristin was writing a book.* Kristin has done a lot of interviews with E!, including an E! Entertainment Special about her life, which I keep forgetting to post here. (It’s 22 minutes long.)
Big Facebook news today: Fledgling memoirist Kristin Cavallari has shared some more of her favorite web articles with her followers. This time, the links come from a new, almost completely impenetrable viral content factory called wowphotoblast.me.
Kristin Cavallari’s gloomy day outfit.
Kristin Cavallari, a writer, has inhabited many places throughout her lifetime. The driver’s seat of a Range Rover, an infinity pool, at least one college classroom—all kinds of places. But where is she right now?
Here’s an article that Kristin Cavallari recently shared on her app: “Breastfeeding FAQs: How Much and How Often,” by Elana Pearl Ben-Joseph, MD. It originally appeared on KidsHealth.com, and Kristin found it useful.
If her Facebook postings are any indication, the two websites Kristin Cavallari visits most often are LittleThings.com and wowphotoblast.me. This week, she posted two more links from the latter. Blast off:
Kristin Cavallari has posted two new original articles on her app: “Quick & Easy Holiday Makeup Tricks” and “The Power of Rose.”
Would you be surprised to learn that Kristin Cavallari has five favorite organic beauty brands? She revealed the names of all of them in a recent post on her app titled, “My Favorite Organic Beauty Brands.” Today, we’ll discuss number five: Dr. Hauschka Skin Care.
Kristin Cavallari’s jewelry line Emerald Duv, pronounced “??”, is awash with new developments lately. Yesterday, the brand announced it was setting something on fire. Today, Kristin herself declared that Emerald Duv is selling hats now.
Favorite organic beauty brands? Kristin Cavallari has five of them. The author of the forthcoming dystopian teen romance novel Balancing in Heels catalogued them all in a recent post on her app titled, “My Favorite Organic Beauty Brands.”
Kristin Cavallari, whose debut memoir will reportedly be published sometime next year, had lamb chops for dinner yesterday. Here is a photo of them:
Future published author Kristin Cavallari has five favorite organic beauty brands, according to a recent post on her app titled, “My Favorite Organic Beauty Brands.” We’ve already discussed her fourth and fifth favorite brands here and here. Her third favorite brand? You’re not going to believe it.
Three hundred and thirty-one days ago, former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari announced that she was writing a book to be released sometime in the far distant future: “spring 2016.” She later specified that Balancing in Heels would be published in March. Guess what: former Laguna Beach star Lauren Conrad has a book coming out then, too.
Twitter suggested today that I follow @KristinDaily, an account associated with the Kristin Cavallari fan site KristinCavallariDaily.com. Makes sense, I guess. Upon further inspection, however, it appears that neither @KristinDaily nor KristinCavallariDaily.com is actually updated on a daily basis. KristinCavallariDaily.com even lists Kristin’s age as 27—one year younger than her widely reported age of 28. Either KristinCavallariDaily.com is on a campaign to convince the public that Kristin is younger than her reported age, or it’s still catching up on some updates from last year. All this is to say: weak. No, I will not follow @KristinDaily. “Kristin Daily” is right here.
As she admitted to Yahoo! earlier this year, Thoroughly Modern Kristin Cavallari doesn’t have many holiday traditions. “We’re pretty boring. Ha,” she said. But the former Laguna Beach star does have at least one Kristmas ritual—she told Us Weekly about it three years ago.
Did anyone receive a copy of Kristin Cavallari’s debut lifestyle book Balancing in Heels this morning?
A periodic reminder from Kristin Cavallari that she named her Yorkshire terrier after Brigitte Bardot:
Though she has technically finished composing her debut book Balancing in Heels (formerly titled Balancing on Heels), Kristin Cavallari has not stopped writing for the public. She most recently published an article on her app titled “Quick & Easy Holiday Makeup Tricks.” It begins like this:
Just one year ago, Kristin Cavallari met fellow author and reality TV star Donald Trump at the Miss Universe pageant. Things were different, then—Trump was the owner of the pageant, and Kristin served as one of the judges.
Aloe vera gel. Magnesium caps. Maple syrup. Organic Chlorella. Omega-3 fish oil. Homemade coconut Kefir. Bone broth. Agave (but not any more). These are all items Kristin Cavallari has consumed to soothe what ails her. Today, she tried a new brand of snake oil: “He Shou Wu powder.”
With just one day left in 2015, former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari has yet to make any public statements about her hopes and dreams for the new year. We can only assume that her overarching goal is the same as it was in 2006, when she told People magazine, “I would love to have a career like Cameron Diaz’s.”