Let's be honest. Nobody wants all the facts of a Silicon Valley scandal. Who bore responsibility for Hewlett-Packard's dumpster-diving investigation of awkward reporters? How much were Steve Jobs' backdated options worth to him? Way too abstruse. So here's a quick summary, with talking points, and a rating of importance, of the corporate shenanigans in the news this week.

Apple: The SEC questions Steve Jobs about the dodgy options the company still, ridiculously, maintains brought him no financial benefit. The one-liner: remember the securities regulators of the SEC exist outside Steve Jobs' reality distortion field.

Hewlett-Packard: An aggrieved former exec accuses the computer maker of yet another espionage project, this time against rival Dell rather than loose-mouthed board members. Cheap shot: they're making it a habit. Smarter second take: HP's overzealous leak investigation has made them easy target.

Microsoft: The evil software giant corrupts that sacred repository of all knowledge, Wikipedia. Except Microsoft is not so scary any more; the collaborative online encyclopedia is not so pure; and the supposed crime was just one lone evangelist's effort to weigh into a Wikipedia edit tussle.