<![CDATA[Valleywag: Windows]]> http://cache.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/valleywag.com.png <![CDATA[Valleywag: Windows]]> http://valleywag.com/tag/windows http://valleywag.com/tag/windows <![CDATA[ Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Gates star in nonsensical new ad campaign ]]> Long-time Macintosh enthusiast Jerry Seinfeld kicks off the new Microsoft campaign by spotting company cofounder Bill Gates at a fictional discount shoe store. The 90-second spot makes a lot less sense from there. Can't say for certain if this is the spot that Michel Gondry directed, but it certainly has the loopy narrative touches, playful music and one giveaway visual cue: A shot of someone wearing shoes and socks in the shower. It makes no mention of technology until the end, when Seinfeld asks when Microsoft will make an edible computer — and then the audience is treated to Bill Gates adjusting himself in his boxer shorts, hands-free. The whole production says "quirky," not slick or cool, but then Windows Vista is full of maddening quirks.

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Thu, 04 Sep 2008 21:00:00 PDT Jackson West http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5045727&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Microsoft hiring for an iPhone App Store rival ]]> AppleInsider spotted a job posting from Microsoft looking for a product manager. The gig: Bring to market a widget directory for Windows Mobile similar to the iTunes App Store for the iPhone, which Apple CEO Steve Jobs said earned $30 million in revenues during its first month in business.

Microsoft called the store "Skymarket" in the now-removed job posting, an unfortunate name which reminds us of 2004 flop Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow), and said the store will open sometime in 2009. There were few more details, mostly because it would be the new hire's responsibility to define "the product offering, pricing, business model and policies that will make the Windows Mobile marketplace 'the place to be' for developers wishing to distribute and monetize their Windows Mobile applications."

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Tue, 02 Sep 2008 07:20:00 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5044195&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Ad market turns Pocket PC mag into iPhone mag ]]> Sign of the times: Iowa-based publisher Thaddeus Computing is killing its 11-year-old Smartphone & Pocket PC magazine. In its place, the company will publish a new title, iPhone Life. Why the change? It's not about which phone is more popular. It's about advertisers.

Publisher Hal Goldstein says that despite 20 million Windows Mobile phones sold in the past year, there's not enough of an ad market for Windows Mobile. Microsoft and cell-phone companies aren't willing to spend on ads in the mag. Moreover, he says, today's smartphone makers aren't like the old PDA companies — think HP — who were willing to bundle a magazine with their products. Goldstein has obviously sniffed out an iPhone accessories ad market to replace his no-longer-subsidized Pocket PC coverage.

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Tue, 26 Aug 2008 15:20:00 PDT Paul Boutin http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5042143&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ How to sell Windows Vista to white people ]]> Microsoft is pulling out all the stops to buff the image of its startingly unpopular operating system, Windows Vista. Nothing so far has worked. Don't worry, Apple and Linux fans — Microsoft is not doing anything threatening, such as actually improving the software.

Instead, the company is paying aging comedian and (reformed?) Mac enthusiast Jerry Seinfeld $10 million to be the product's spokesmonkey. At least one of the ads looks like it was shot against a Brooklyn backdrop by Michel Gondry, the french auteur beloved by white people. Who's responsible for this sudden rush to be hip?

This sounds like the work of Alex Bogusky, the studvertiser at Mac-worshipping ad firm Crispin Porter & Bogusky. Guess Gondry won't be touring Apple stores to promote his next film. (Photo by AP/Franka Bruns)

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Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:20:00 PDT Jackson West http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5040497&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Microsoft now offers Ultimate support ]]> Microsoft's money comes largely from its corporate clients. But they're the ones dumping Vista every chance they get. So Microsoft is trying other tactics to woo them. First, an "Ultimate" option for customer service focusing on proactive support instead of just fixing problems once they're called in. Microsoft Services Premier Ultimate is said to maintain a company's "IT health." Secondly, Microsoft is relaxing its licensing agreements to let companies reuse applications on multiple servers. [Ars Technica and CNN]

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Tue, 19 Aug 2008 10:20:00 PDT Alaska Miller http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5038878&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ You're not the only one who hates Vista ]]> Did you buy a new computer and come to realize that you just really hate Windows Vista? You're not alone. InfoWorld figures that 35 percent of its audience — mostly corporate users — had dumped Vista and reinstalled Windows XP on their current-model computers. Maybe IT professionals are harder to fool with marketing gimmicks. [InfoWorld]

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Mon, 18 Aug 2008 14:20:00 PDT Alaska Miller http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5038485&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Free software zealot Richard Stallman's hairshirt of a laptop ]]> The Mengloong from Chinese manufacturer Lemote is a fairly exotic machine — designed to be widely affordable like the One Laptop Per Child project's XO-1, its Loongson-2 processor couldn't run Microsoft Windows if you wanted it to. So it's the machine of choice for Free Software Foundation founder Richard M. Stallman, who felt so "betrayed" by OLPC's capitulation to Redmond he's willing to put up with the Mengloong's quirks, he told a Computerworld reporter:

Unfortunately, it doesn't have a suspend-and-resume capability, which Stallman called "somewhat inconvenient." Nor does the battery charge while it's running, which he called "an annoyance."

"But it's worth it to you," I said.

"For freedom," he responded, "I will make a sacrifice."

I'm no fan of Microsoft's software or business practices, but turning to a machine wholly developed in China doesn't exactly scream "freedom" to me, either. CEO Steve Ballmer may be a tyrant, but even he bows to Paramount Leader Hu Jintao.

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Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:20:00 PDT Jackson West http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5037074&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Will electric sheep have Android Dreams? ]]> The HTC Dream, the first fruit of Google's foray into mobile phones, will be available for preorder from T-Mobile during a one-week window starting September 17. The artificial time scarcity seems designed to create iPhone-like hype. And perhaps the Dream will succeed at that. At $150 along with a two-year contract and a new, probably more expensive, unlimited data plan, this is the first wireless device I've seen that looks like real iPhone competition. Sure, it has Google's Android operating system, a touch screen and 3G speeds, but it also has a keyboard. And it's from HTC, the Taiwanese handset manufacturer that makes really nice phones — mostly for Microsoft's Windows Mobile operating system until now. But just like the iPhone, the don't-call-it-a-Googlephone won't really bust up the carrier-handset-operating-system industrial complex that has long bedeviled the mobile market.

I recently purchased the HTC Dash, right before the California Supreme Court struck down as illegal early contract termination fees — otherwise, I might have gone and signed up for an iPhone myself. But I love the Dash since it, too, has real buttons and is slim enough not to disrupt the hang of a jacket. Even at over a year old (which is about 35 in Hollywood actress years), it's still selling well despite two major drawbacks: Windows Mobile and T-Mobile.

Similarly, the iPhone is locked to Apple and AT&T. Want an application? You'll have to buy it from the App Store via iTunes. Want a different carrier? Tough noogies. Apple didn't so much break the lock between handset manufacturers and carriers as much as they inserted themselves as a third gatekeeper. While HTC has close ties to Microsoft — its U.S. offices are based in Seattle, and veteran Windows Mobile developers work at the company — the phone maker won't be leaving Microsoft country. It's just applying for dual citizenship in Mountain View.

Dream buyers will be locked to buying T-Mobile voice and data plans, regardless. While customers wait, the current release is likely off in Germany somewhere being larded up with crappy default applications from Deutsche Telekom, T-Mobile's parent, which clings to a desperate Teutonic hope you might be dumb enough to continue using its T-Zones wireless services, baked into every T-Mobile phone.

Google's and Apple's entry into wireless just means that lock-in is getting extended from our phones to the desktop. Getting Windows Mobile to sync with my iTunes on my MacBook and Google Calendar and email was a project that took an entire evening. It still doesn't work over Bluetooth or Wi-Fi. My father, who took one look at my phone after losing his own and bought one, had no difficulty synching his Outlook contacts and Hotmail account with his Windows PC. Any bets on how easy it will be to sync a phone running Android with Yahoo Mail or iTunes?

So if you dream of buying a handset based on its hardware features, then picking an operating system to run on it, and then choosing a wireless carrier which works well in your neighborhood, keep dreaming. Google would rather join the wireless club, and lock you into its own set of services. The Googlephone promised to set us free, and the Dream looks beautiful — but it's just another cell phone.

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Tue, 12 Aug 2008 18:00:00 PDT Jackson West http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5036312&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Vista security completely end-run by hack ]]> Today at the Black Hat conference in Las Vegas, two security experts showed off a new Web-based break-in that completely bypasses all of the hardware memory protection built into Windows Vista. Once inside, a program can then load any content at all from the Internet via your browser. The best tech writeup is at Electronista: "The malicious code not only negates the effectiveness of Vista's Address Space Layout Randomization and Data Execution Prevention technologies, but specifically abuses their behavior to ensure an attack gets through." What does this mean for you? It's not the end of the world. But stand by for one very important Security Update.

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Fri, 08 Aug 2008 15:20:00 PDT Tim the IT Guy http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5034983&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ The definitive guide to watching the Olympics online ]]> The folks who are bringing you the Olympics online don't actually want you to watch their coverage. NBC and Microsoft are delaying the most popular events by three hours so that it won't interfere with more profitable TV broadcasts. And you'll have to download Microsoft's Silverlight browser plug-in to watch in your browser. But a bird's nest of geography and time-delay restrictions worthy of China's Communist Party government is in place. Thankfully, the anarchy of the Web offers plenty of options for having a crowd of curious coworkers surround your computer as you watch live handball, with varying degrees of expense and difficulty. Rather than being the coming-out party for Silverlight Microsoft hopes for, it may instead be the year sports fans learn a few new online-video tricks.

Online schedules: NBC's Olympics listings takes a bit of work (you have to enter your ZIP code and select a television provider, even if you just want online listings). However, once you've done the work, it'll send you notifications when events you've selected will be broadcast. Jason Kottke has found Google and iCal calendars, which will allow you a bit more flexibility in setting up alerts, and the New York Times has a schedule as well. And of course, there's an official schedule from the organizers in China, with times listed for Beijing's time zone (16 hours ahead of San Francisco, 13 hours ahead of New York) — probably the best place to go for daily updates, as smog and weather may upset the schedule.

Sling Media's Slingbox: For those with more money than time, the best solution might be a Slingbox. Then you can beam your home satellite or cable signal over the Internet to your laptop, desktop, or iPhone, and remotely switch between NBC and MSNBC.
Pros: You can get great quality, even HD, if your home Internet connection is fast. There is SlingPlayer software available for a range of not just operating systems but handheld devices as well.
Cons: Prices start at $129.99 and your selection of Olympics coverage is limited to what's available from your satellite or cable provider, which means missing early heats and niche events and having to put up with tape delays by the networks.

International proxies: It is possible to watch live streams from other countries, such as BBC Sports from the UK or CBC Sports from Canada, by configuring your browser to run through an anonymous proxy. I recommend using Mozilla's Firefox browser with the FoxyProxy add-on installed. Xroxy has a handy list of proxies which you can sort by country to find proxies in the UK or Canada — which must be anonymous, and preferrably running the SOCKS protocol. Your best bet is to get a geeky British or Canadian friend to install a proxy on their machine for you and your Yankee friends. The latency can be frustrating, but once you get a stream started it will work fine.
Pros: Quality streams from legitimate providers, and if you're accustomed to jingoistic U.S. coverage, the charming accents from the Beeb's announcers and the humble mien of the Canadians can be quite refreshing.
Cons: Takes some technical know-how to set up, and proxies come and go. You might miss an event because you're too busy fiddling with your settings or a proxy fails when too many people sign on.

Video on demand: If you're running Windows Vista, you can download events using TVTonic for "Olympics on the Go." Torrent client Azureus works on any system to help download events after the fact, especially the most popular ones like tennis, football, boxing and basketball — Torrentz cross-site search of multiple BitTorrent indexes should make it easy to find the Spain versus China women's basketball game you might miss tomorrow. YouTube's official channel is blocked — even using international proxies — though a reader came up with a crack that works for now. Other less thoroughly policed online video sites like Veoh, Metacafe, Dailymotion and Megavideo will also have videos.
Pros: Torrents will be high quality and work for anyone, while video-sharing sites will be easiest to use.
Cons: Nothing will be live, obviously, and no one knows how long video clips will remain on sharing sites.

P2P Streams: The way I'll be watching online will is through MyP2P, a site that catalogs live sports and television streams from around the Web, listed by event. It helps to run Windows, though not necessarily Vista, because many streams require software downloads — check out MyP2P's beginners guide for tips, including where to find software downloads and optimization settings. I ended up finding live BBC coverage of the opening ceremonies via Justin.tv, which ran just fine in my browser. If you can't find the channel you want in the media format you prefer, check wwiTV, TV For Us, TV Channels Free, Channel Chooser or BeelineTV among others.
Pros: Free and fairly easy once you've installed most of the media players listed by MyP2P. And it's fun to watch coverage from other countries — I'll be watching all my football with spanish-speaking announcers whenever possible.
Cons: Quality is hit-or-miss, stream links come and go, and you have to think ahead in terms of scheduling to make sure you've got all the necessary programs installed. Also, Mac users will want to install Windows XP through Parallels or Fusion for the widest selection of channels.

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Fri, 08 Aug 2008 12:00:00 PDT Jackson West http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5034866&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Apple's secret to selling iPhones: Windows Mobile ]]> After a rocky iPhone 3G launch, Apple's store operations have returned to a model of efficiency. One of Steve Jobs's secrets: roving sales clerks who use mobile devices to ring up orders anywhere in the store, not just at the cash register. Ah, but which devices? Motorola MC75 handhelds running Microsoft's Windows Mobile operating system.

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Wed, 06 Aug 2008 13:20:00 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5033939&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Does Windows Vista by another name smell as bad? ]]> Microsoft has finally released the videos from the company's "Mojave Experiment," where it convinced focus-group attendees who had heard bad things about Vista that they were trying a new and better operating system called Mojave — which was ultimately revealed to be Vista all along. Feel-good marketing triumph or sign of desperation? Considering the company had to pull this stunt at all, I'm going with the latter. [mojaveexperiment.com]

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Wed, 30 Jul 2008 14:20:00 PDT Jackson West http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5031149&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Microsoft heir apparent looks for life after Windows ]]> Looking past the fail that is Vista, Microsoft is working on a next-generation operating system codenamed "Midori." Eric Rudder, a senior vice president at Microsoft whose name has been floated as Microsoft's next CEO, will be developing the new OS. Shockingly from a company known for slogging away at version after version of its existing software, Midori won't even be based on Windows. Programming for Midori will also be different, designed for many kinds of devices, from cell phones to server farms.

But since Midori is still a long ways out, Microsoft is still trying hard to polish up Vista. Microsoft recently organized focus groups of disgruntled Windows XP users and showed them a brand new OS called "Mojave." After the participants were cajoled into saying the new OS with shiny doodads was far superior, it was revealed that Mojave was none other than Vista. The trick reminds us of Folger's ads — and reminds us how Ballmer used to work at Procter & Gamble. There is the battle for Microsoft's soul lain bare: The marketers, led by Ballmer's old guard, who repackage even the slightest tweak as "new and improved!" versus the technologists, led by Rudder, who are seeking to build something genuinely new. The safe bet, alas, is on the marketers.

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Tue, 29 Jul 2008 14:00:00 PDT Alaska Miller http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5030653&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Microsoft's Windows dilemma ]]> Here are all the talking points you'll hear about Kevin Johnson's departure as the chief of Microsoft's sprawling Platform and Services Division — and what to say about them. The failed Yahoo bid killed his prospects of becoming Microsoft's CEO. Perhaps, but Steve Ballmer, who is more to blame for the Yahoo debacle, wasn't going anywhere, and Johnson may not have been prepared to wait. Johnson was charged with competing with Google in search and advertising, and he failed. And you would have done any better? Facebook took Microsoft for everything it's worth in striking its deal for Microsoft to invest and sell ads on the social network — and that's Johnson's fault. True enough, but Microsoft's $240 million investment is pocket change for the software giant. Enough with the cocktail-party chatter. Here's why I think Johnson really left.

It all comes down to Windows — and Windows Live, Microsoft's attempt to extend its monopoly operating system online. The basic strategy of combining the Windows operating system with Microsoft's online-media division, which created Johnson's job, was flawed. The skills involved in coding an operating system and creating websites and selling ads are fundamentally different; mastering them all would be beyond any executive's reach. Johnson was a talented executive, most agree, and his departure is a loss to Microsoft. But succeeding at his job would require focus, and a smaller ambit to his assignments. He needed to have a bigger job; and Microsoft needed someone with a smaller job.

The reorganization following his departure leaves things in a muddle. Windows will still be tied with some online services, under the "Windows Live" rubric; other online operations will be in a separate division. But what goes where? Hotmail, for example, was recently rebranded as a Windows Live product; but it's hard to see Microsoft's online operation giving up such a reliable traffic generator to the Windows group.

In Johnson's wake, expect more infighting, more reorganizations, more mass rebranding campaigns — everything, that is, except the kind of purposeful progress Microsoft desperately needs to compete with Google.

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Wed, 23 Jul 2008 17:00:00 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5028436&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Blogger gets Vista refund with only 4 emails, 3 phone calls, 2 months ]]> In theory, Microsoft's license agreement for Vista says you can get a refund from your PC's manufacturer if you buy a model with Vista preinstalled, but replace it with Windows XP, Linux or another operating system. In practice, Equlibriate blogger Kim Kido, a k a uncle_benji, spent two months calling and emailing HP before the company finally cut her a $200 check. She's posted a detailed recap of the story, including screenshots of customer service emails and a photo of the check. I'm willing to bet Kido cost the company another $200 in customer service time. (Photo by uncle_benji)

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Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:40:00 PDT Paul Boutin http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5027261&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Dell and Sony discover gold in the old ]]> A relentless neophilia is Silicon Valley's signature characteristic. One must have a new iPhone, a new Twitter, a new electric car. You're either in beta or in the grave. That's why I'm intrigued by two decisions by Dell and Sony. Dell has figured out a way to wriggle around Microsoft's licensing rules and still sell its discontinued Windows XP operating system. Sony, meanwhile, is profitably selling its nine-year-old PlayStation 2 videogame console in markets like India. This just isn't done.

And yet it is done, and profitably so. Sony's PlayStation 3 is expensive precisely because it uses new chips and optical drives whose manufacturing processes have yet to be refined. Moore's law has made the old silicon parts in a PS2 dirt-cheap; meanwhile, videogame studios continue to churn out games for it, making it an entertainment bargain.

Windows XP, meanwhile, has been relentlessly tested by consumers, businesses, and hackers; it is now reasonably bug-proof, reasonably easy to use, and ubiquitous. Windows Vista, by contrast, is slow, unpredictable, and uncertainly secure. (Microsoft claims Vista is safer, but any security expert will tell you that security holes only reveal themselves over time.) Microsoft perhaps recognizes this, since it's continuing to sell Windows XP in some poorer countries.

So far, Sony and Microsoft are focusing their selling of the old in developing markets. But why not sell the old stuff everywhere, instead of forcing the likes of Dell to jump through hoops to offer it to willing customers? That's exactly what Nintendo has done with the Wii. Essentially a repackaged GameCube with a motion-sensitive controller, the Wii has eviscerated Sony's overexpensive PlayStation 3. It's a classic triumph of the old.

The chief lesson Silicon Valley has taken from Moore's law is that new technology will always be better. Hence the relentless pursuit of the new. But Moore equally tells us that old technology will always be cheaper. Someone's going to figure out how to sell the old stuff at a profit. Why not have it be you?

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Thu, 03 Jul 2008 13:00:00 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5021963&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ With Bill Gates gone, Microsoft to stop selling the last operating system he actually liked ]]> Microsoft's Vista apologists no longer have to worry about former chief software architect Bill Gates letting slip an admission that its latest operating system sucks, sending computer makers and users back to Windows XP. As soon as Dell, HP and other major manufacturers sell their current-supply of XP-loaded PCs, no more will come off the shelves as Microsoft ends production of the aging but quite functional operating system today. But instead of moving on to Windows Vista, large corporate clients like General Motors intend to purchase Vista-loaded computers and "downgrade" them to XP. Meanwhile, only 8 percent of all software developers are working on applications for Vista, while 49 percent continue to develop for XP.

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Mon, 30 Jun 2008 09:00:00 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5020726&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Intel says there's "no compelling case" to upgrade to Vista ]]> Back when Vista launched, Microsoft predicted corporate clients would adopt the new operating system at twice the rate of its predecessor, Windows XP. Hasn't happened. Now even longtime Microsoft partner, chipmaker Intel, has decided to not upgrade its 80,000 employees to Microsoft Vista. An IT buyer at the company told the New York Times that, after "a lengthy analysis" Intel's "information technology staff just found no compelling case for adopting Vista." Instead, Intel will keep its employees on the same OS they've used since 2001, XP.

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Thu, 26 Jun 2008 08:20:00 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5019847&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Bill Gates privately declared Windows usability "an absolute mess" in 2003 ]]> Five years ago, which is probably about when Microsoft started announcing shipping dates for Vista, Bill Gates wanted to play with Windows Movie Maker. Thanks to the power of Windows XP and Microsoft's online support, it took him over an hour in frustration downloading software, installing it and rebooting and, in the end, still without the software he was looking for.

I thought for sure now I would see a button to just go do the download. In fact it is more like a puzzle that you get to solve. It told me to go to Windows Update and do a bunch of incantations.

I can see Gates now, calling for an orisha and leading an anxious goat to a spot in his office covered in plastic sheeting for the candomblé ritual required to install a crappy video editing program.

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Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:40:00 PDT Jackson West http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5019664&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Microsoft Vista ranks well behind XP, Linux in application developers' hearts ]]> The operating system from Redmond that was going to blow developers away, Windows Vista, is being used as an application platform by only eight percent of software developers surveyed by Evans Data. 13 percent are developing for Linux, and a whopping 49 percent are still developing for Windows XP, which was released sometime before the birth of Mark Zuckerberg. [News.com]

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Mon, 16 Jun 2008 15:20:00 PDT Jackson West http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5016923&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Finding the worst-entry level job in tech: Round Two ]]> We're on to Round Two in our worst-tech-job contest. We've whittled down 10 terrible gigs down to five:

Follow the link for each job to see a picture of their locations, a list of key responsibilities, first hand accounts of why each job is so bad and how much they pay. Then, come back here and vote, below.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.



(Photo of Arrington and Scoble by Brian Caldwell)

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Wed, 11 Jun 2008 17:00:00 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5015571&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Microsoft mobile exec: iPhone is so 2007 ]]> On Monday, Apple CEO Steve Jobs is expected to announce a relatively minor set of upgrades to the iPhone. Yet the world — and not just the tech world — waits with bated breath for the turtlenecked one to speak. How does Microsoft respond? With a 522-word memo from Microsoft mobile executive Andy Lees to "Our Windows Mobile Partners." Lees might have some good arguments in Microsoft's favor, but he buries them behind phrases like "It’s now my honor and privilege." Apple would just take our 100-word version, below, and turn each bullet point into a Mac vs. PC commercial.

  • This year we will sell nearly 20 million [Windows Mobile] licenses. We sold more in the previous four quarters than RIM, and growth was greater than Apple’s iPhone.
  • We give customers nearly 150 different phone choices — phones with full keyboards, touch screens, rich email, picture, music experiences, GPS, 3+ megapixel cameras, and voice activation. Features other operating systems have been slow to deliver.
  • Customers can send instant messages or update their calendars in Brazil, Belgium, India, Italy.
  • We deliver more than 40 different phones that run at 3G speeds, at prices that meet a range of customer needs.
  • Windows Mobile customers have over 18,000 applications.
  • Competitors are announcing upgrades we delivered to customers years ago.

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Fri, 06 Jun 2008 15:20:00 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5014095&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Source: Windows developers chafe under new boss Steven Sinofsky ]]> StevenSinofsky.jpgWho's the man responsible for cuts to internal spending at Microsoft? Here's a hint: he's feared, hated and respected by Windows developers: Steven Sinofsky, the SVP of Windows and Windows Live development, who's been mooted as a successor to Bill Gates. Sinofsky used to run Microsoft Office development, where he earned a reputation for "making the trains run on time." That landed him in charge of making sure fiascos like Vista never happen again. One problem, though.

Our source tells us, "Windows and Office are like two COMPLETELY separate companies." Sinofsky's hard-driving management style doesn't suit Windows developers. Says our source:

If I had another share of Microsoft for every time I head "fuck" and "Sinofksy" in the same sentence from Windows people, well let's just say I would be rivaling Bill Gates's wealth.
Our source admits he's got an axe to grind — "I'm feeling the Sinofsky crunch and hate him too" — and even says, "Don't get me wrong, he will make sure Windows ships on time." But only "at the cost of our environment, how Windows works."
You may have noticed with the Windows betas being so open, and occurring so early in the development stage that Windows really does value customer feedback. At Office, where the beta is late in the development cycle, and they really don't have the beta out there for feedback, but rather just to squash bugs. Sinofsky has brought that sort of policy where feedback means jack sh*t. It sort of does hurt the product. Customer feedback used to mean so much

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Fri, 30 May 2008 10:40:00 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=394267&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Henry Blodget, neat freak ]]> Is disgraced stock analyst Henry Blodget the reincarnation of Howard Hughes? In an inadvertently revealing Silicon Alley Insider post explaining his dislike of Windows Seven's touchscreen features, Blodget's screaming germophobia is on full display.

We never touch our PC screen, and we hate it when other people touch our PC screens.... We're not particularly anal, and we polish up our Blackberry every thirty seconds or so.... So excuse us if we don't jump up and down in excitement at the thought that people are going to feel better about jabbing their fat, greasy fingers into our PC screens.
What's particularly fascinating is how Blodget attempts to normalize his neurosis by using the first person plural. Polishing your BlackBerry that frequently isn't healthy, Hank. ]]>
Wed, 28 May 2008 11:40:00 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=393750&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Bill Gates's presentation at D6, the four-word version ]]> billandsteve.jpgAfter being kicked out of D6 — kicked out of mere proximity to D6, really — I learned I didn't miss much. Want a summary of Bill Gates's presentation at D6 of Windows Seven, Microsoft's supposedly exciting new operating system with multitouch features similar to the year-old Apple iPhone? "Windows Seven is bullshit," says Gizmodo editor Brian Lam. Here's to more insights like that at the Four Seasons hotel bar! The highlights reel, in case you're in doubt:

(Photo by Asa Mathat/AllThingsD.com)

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Tue, 27 May 2008 23:27:27 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=393582&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Bill Gates's valedictory: Windows Seven ]]> VistaCARLSBAD, CA — Next month, Bill Gates is retiring from his day job at Microsoft. That means his appearance tonight at the D6 conference is his last hurrah. To go out with a bang, he is debuting Windows Seven, John Paczkowski reports on the conference's AllThingsD website. Details are scant, but we've heard Microsoft was rushing out Seven to make up for the failures of Vista. Gates, Paczkowski writes, will demonstrate an "all new user interface." Which speaks to Microsoft's problems. Users are not demanding new interfaces; corporations are uninterested in retraining their staffs, and consumers are unmotivated to learn the quirks of a new operating system. Gates would have been better served by simply improving the operating system's reliability and performance — but that does not make for an interesting show.

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Tue, 27 May 2008 15:00:00 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=393532&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ General Motors technology chief plans to skip Windows Vista ]]> GMtower.jpg"We're considering bypassing Vista and going straight to Windows 7," GM technology chief Fred Killeen told BusinessWeek. He said that replacing Windows XP with Vista would require the company to buy too many machines. "By the time we'd replace them, Windows 7 might be ready anyway," he said. Fred, Fred, Fred — if you ask Microsoft, Intel, Dell, and the rest of the technology industry, buying too many machines is sort of the point. (Photo by ceonyc)

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Wed, 14 May 2008 14:00:00 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=390367&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ A good place for a Yahoo-less Microsoft to start: Pick a brand and stick to it ]]> MSFT-confused-Thumb.jpgIf buying Facebook doesn't work out, Microsoft plans to compete on the Web by growing "organically." Bill Gates said that means search advancements, more marketing and lots of meetings. Lots of meetings. But here's what those meetings ought to be about: unifying Microsoft's online branding. Check out the screenshots of Microsoft's Web designs below. Nabbed by LiveSide, ReadWriteWeb's Josh Catone points out they contain "four different search boxes, two different Live.com "orb" logos (in four different sizes), and six different header backgrounds."

Click to expand the images, which Microsoft designer Evan Malahy told LiveSide he hopes "raise awareness not only outside of Microsoft, but help us (designers) have more traction and power to get these inconsistencies addressed."

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Thu, 08 May 2008 08:00:00 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=388412&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Microsoft exec shows Wall Street what life after Yahoo looks like ]]> WindowsLive.jpgMicrosoft exec Brian Hall told Merrill Lynch analysts today that the company has "moved on" since the Yahoo mess. "We've withdrawn the offer and moved on, and now are focused on how we grow as fast as possible organically," Hall, general manager of Microsoft's Windows Live online products, told the analysts. Hall said that Microsoft only wanted Yahoo for help with instant messaging and email — an odd whopper to tell, because who's going believe either of those businesses are worth $47 billion? Put your hand down, Jerry.

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Tue, 06 May 2008 15:40:00 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=387734&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Apple thinks corporate -- or rather, corporations think Apple ]]> Out of 250 surveyed companies, 87 percent report owning Apple computers. That's up from 48 percent In 2006. In BusinessWeek's story on Apple's creep into corporate cubicles, Dimension Data CIO Mark Slaga explains how Apple is gaining ground without really trying: "Steve Jobs doesn't need a sales force because he already has one: employees like the ones in my company." (Though, as it happens, Apple is looking for office space in Manhattan's Midtown, which could conceivably house salespeople.)

BusinessWeek gives Apple's iPhone and iPod much of the credit, but also blames Vista; 90 percent of office workers remain on XP. One factor BusinessWeek didn't account for: the Internet. As more of what people actually do with a computer takes place on the Web, the less it matters what type of computer users access it with. Now you know why Steve Jobs has Google CEO Eric Schmidt on the board — it's not for his personal charm. (Photo by atp_tyreseus)

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Fri, 02 May 2008 09:00:00 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=386529&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Microsoft hire Mark Hamburg hates Windows ]]> mark_hamburg_enters_photoshop_hall_of_fame.jpgMark Hamburg, pictured here accepting a Photoshop Hall of Fame award, on being hired away from Adobe to work on user experience at Microsoft: "Given that I find the current Windows experience really annoying and yet I keep having to deal with it, this opportunity was a little too interesting to turn down." [News.com]

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Thu, 01 May 2008 15:20:00 PDT Jackson West http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=386189&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Is an Italian hottie the reason why Vista sucks? ]]> Gianna PueriniIn 2001, Brian Valentine, then a top Microsoft executive, was pumped about Windows XP, as a spoof infomercial shows. By the time Vista was getting ready for release, his enthusiasm had waned. The reason? Some believe he was pining for Gianna Puerini, a sales manager who had left Microsoft for Amazon.com in 2003. In July 2006, Valentine secretly signed an employment contract with Amazon.com. Microsoft did not reveal that he was leaving for Amazon.com until September 5, less than a week before he started his new job. The business rationale for hiding his departure was obvious: Valentine ran the team that was shipping its Windows Vista operating system. Losing their leader would have killed morale.

In retrospect, it's obvious that Valentine's lack of motivation was reflected in the final product. Even Bill Gates has conceded Vista's failure now, and there's talk that Microsoft will replace it with an early release of Windows Seven, Vista's successor. It's hard to imagine Valentine, or anyone, making a video about Vista that's anything like the Windows XP promotion below:

So who is this woman for whom Valentine dumped Microsoft? A filing with the SEC reveals that Puerini was the "housemate" of Valentine mentioned, but not named, in a similar filing last year. Puerini, Amazon's director of user retail experience, just got a $1 million stock grant, an amount the company says is similar to the compensation earned by other employees at her level. So lets grant that she's smart. Her Facebook profile photo, reproduced above, suggests she's good-looking as well. A catch for Valentine, and apparently worth leaving Microsoft in the middle of completing its most important product.

Has the couple shipped their own product? Puerini has a baby registry for an arrival dated last September. The pair also have a wedding registry on the site — but it's labeled as a test. On it, Puerini writes: "ABOUT THE COUPLE: This is a test registry. I am not getting married. I have no plans to get married. I repeat - this is a test! :-)" The baby registry may therefore also be a test.

One thing Valentine and Puerini have definitely done as a couple: donate an amount between $25,000 and $250,000 to Washington State University (PDF).

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Tue, 22 Apr 2008 12:20:00 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=382347&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Microsoft pretends Vista sales video is a gag, and CNET editor buys it ]]> With the leak of an internal sales video, Microsoft is having its ironic cake and pretending not to eat it too. Its marketing team produced an awful spoof of Bruce Springsteen singing about Vista. One should note: Companies do this routinely to motivate their salespeople, but the innocents in engineering normally aren't exposed to the cheerleading routines. Microsoft's spin on the video: It's a gag! We're being sly! And incredibly, CNET editor Charles Cooper bought their line, quoting an anonymous flack: "They thought folks internally would get a kick out of not taking themselves so seriously all the time."

There you have it: Microsoft gets to produce an awesomely cheesy video to pump up the sales troops — but in a way that lets them pretend to be air-quotes cool, resistant to such straightforward come-ons. PR then strategically leaks it, lets the blogosphere react predictably, and finds a gullible square of a tech reporter to declare victory on Microsoft's behalf.

Gizmodo has it right: Why is Microsoft wasting money on staging fake concerts? To which I'd add: Why are they then thumping their chests about how they "fooled" bloggers? Unembarrassed, Microsoft is now challenging competitors to make an even more ironic-fake-bad-but-not-really video. To see the Microsoft spin machine at work on such a worthless cause should give Google new hope.

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Thu, 17 Apr 2008 08:45:00 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=380782&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Microsoft pulls best April Fools' prank yet ]]> Robbie Bach"People want a single phone that's flexible enough to meet their needs throughout their day, whether it's connecting to work or your everyday life." — Microsoft executive Robbie Bach, on the iPhone [Microsoft.com]

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Tue, 01 Apr 2008 20:00:00 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=374917&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Safari for Windows illegal for use on Windows PCs ]]> compass.jpgWant to install Safari on your Windows PC? Hope you don't mind violating Apple's Software License Agreement. Apple's lawyers messed up when they copied and pasted the license for using Safari for Windows. From the text of the SLA:"2. Permitted License Uses and Restrictions. A. This License allows you to install and use one copy of the Apple Software on a single Apple-labeled computer at a time." Whoops! You could run Safari for Windows on an Apple, I suppose, using Boot Camp or virtualization software. But somehow I don't think that's why Steve Jobs had his programmers rewrite the browser software for PCs.

The iTunes for Windows license (PDF) has no such restriction: "2. Permitted License Uses and Restrictions. This License allows you to install and use the Apple Software."

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Wed, 26 Mar 2008 13:40:00 PDT Jordan Golson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=372512&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Microsoft makes Vista cheaper -- as if that's why people weren't buying ]]> Microsoft has cut the price of the U.S. consumer versions of Windows Vista. The Ultimate Edition fell from $399 to $319 and the Home Premium Edition went from $159 to $129. The Register nails it: "It's hard to believe that millions of Windows XP users were just waiting for Vista to get a little cheaper before committing themselves." Why don't they just put XP back on the shelves? That seems easier. (Photo by mkeefe)

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Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:40:16 PST Jordan Golson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=362456&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Microsoft emails on Vista: "No one really believed we would ever ship" ]]> Vista_Sperm.jpgA pile of internal emails (PDF) between Microsoft execs have surfaced as part of a suit against the company. The suit alleges that the company mislead customers in 2006 labeling PCs "Windows Vista Capable." And to judge by the emails from Microsoft execs, Microsofties agreed with the plaintiffs. One exec, Mike Nash, writes that Vista turned his $2,100 PC into nothing but an "email machine." In another, exec Steven Sinofsky confessed his Office team didn't start work on a Vista version until late 2006 because "No one really believed we would ever ship." Read the rest for yourself, below.

Read this doc on Scribd: Vista emails

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Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:50:55 PST Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=362402&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Bebo needs cash to keep its servers running ]]> Now we know why Bebo's so eager for more cash. It needs more servers. According to Pingdom, Bebo has already been down for 12 hours and 28 minutes so far this year. Check out the full chart to see how 13 other social networks have fared so far.

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Tue, 26 Feb 2008 09:09:00 PST Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=360862&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Did Microsoft lie about top exec's departure? ]]> Brian ValentineThe departure of Brian Valentine, a 19-year Microsoft veteran before he left in 2006, has always been a bit of a puzzle. In August of that year, Microsoft management told his staff he was taking a new job within the company after shipping Windows Vista. A month later, he left for Amazon.com. Now, Amazon.com has cleared things up with a belated SEC filing: Microsoft lied to its employees. Here's the timetable:

Amazon.com sent Valentine an employment agreement, dated and apparently signed by Valentine on June 23, 2006. The deal called for him to get a $1.7 million signing bonus, a $150,000 salary, another $500,000 bonus, and 400,000 shares of Amazon.com (now worth almost $30 million). The contract called for him to start on September 11. Valentine surely told his bosses of this fact. And yet Microsoft did not announce his departure until September 5, less than a week before he started.

So why would Microsoft lie about Valentine's employment status? In July and August, Microsoft's programmers were on a death march to complete Windows Vista. Had they known that their leader, Valentine, had one foot out the door already, would they have worked so willingly on the project?

Lying to employees is one thing. It's routine and expected. But lying to shareholders is another. Given the importance of Vista to Microsoft's finances, shouldn't Microsoft have disclosed Valentine's plans to leave as soon as they knew about them? And assuming Valentine was complicit in the ruse, should Amazon.com's owners be similarly concerned?

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Mon, 18 Feb 2008 13:32:07 PST Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=357831&view=rss&microfeed=true