<![CDATA[Valleywag: toogle many googlers]]> http://cache.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/valleywag.com.png <![CDATA[Valleywag: toogle many googlers]]> http://valleywag.com/tag/toogle many googlers http://valleywag.com/tag/toogle many googlers <![CDATA[ Grabbing some love upstairs at Google ]]> "You asked if I was headed upstairs for a meeting and I said, "not exactly. I am here for GoogleApps." Oh, Pink Scarf Girl. We want to find your Missed Connections "Moment" Man, too. White, male, 20s, dressed casual? Who could that be? Just be sure to use protection with what you're grabbing "downstairs," too. The best in daycare is so pricey these days.

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Fri, 18 Jul 2008 13:40:00 PDT Melissa Gira Grant http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5026789&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Is Google's "work hard, play hard" recruiting code for age discrimination? ]]> "We have a preference for those who like to work and play hard," the search giant candidly informs potential candidates for openings for a compliance manager, senior internal auditor, financial project analyst, senior internal controls auditor, management accountant, internal audit treasury manager, accounting manager, internal audit manager, and technology risk analyst. Doesn't exactly conjure up the image of a white-haired 58-year-old Type II diabetic, does it?

One of the most significant employment law cases of 2007 was Reid v. Google, Inc., in which the search giant was charged with age discrimination for terminating PhD. computer scientist Brian Reid at the age of 54. Prior to his firing, Reid was reportedly subjected to a plethora of age-related disparagement, made the butt of jokes, and found himself a fish out of water in a "youthful atmosphere" featuring employee participation in hockey, football and skiing. Reid testified that upon being fired, he was told he was not a "cultural fit."

Google maintained it had simply eliminated Reid's dead end job, but in a unanimous decision last fall, the Court of Appeal for the Sixth District wrote:

We conclude that Reid produced sufficient evidence that Google's reasons for terminating him were untrue or pretextual, and that Google acted with discriminatory motive such that a factfinder would conclude Google engaged in age discrimination.

With the case headed to the California Supreme Court, it's all the more incredible that Google is reprising Enron's work-hard-play-hard motto — a red flag for ageism — in its current recruiting. But anything's fair game after using Hitler in your hiring.

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Wed, 16 Jul 2008 09:20:00 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5025817&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Google cutting costs? Hiring slowdown "noticeable," says employee ]]> Pointing out that in the last quarter Google walked away from a multibillion-dollar hotel project, closed two offices, and laid off 300 DoubleClick employees, Wired's Betsy Schiffman wonders if Google isn't cutting costs as result of a downturn in advertising revenue. Of course, the downturn has so far been limited to online brand advertising, not Google's lucrative paid search business. Schiffman also linked to our post on a tipster who tried to convince us Google is in a hiring freeze, though we thought he was possibly just a bitter non-hire. One Google employee does tell us, however, that there's been a "noticeable" slowdown in new hires setting up cubicles in Mountain View. Then there's the usual doomsayers, such as commenter Isawthat who reports the "Bay Area is jacked!"

There are no job opening for recruiters, its frozen across the board. People are about to get a huge shock. I am a recruiter of 11 years, seems like the bubble burst all over again.

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Fri, 11 Jul 2008 08:40:00 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5024181&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Employees now getting dirty asses washed by downmarket bidets at the Googleplex ]]> Back in 2005, when I first made inquiries into the high-tech Japanese bidets now well-known to be installed around the Googleplex, the company was using the Toto Washlet S300. Now? The E200. What's the difference? $230 less in luxury, with the S300 selling for $749.99 at Faucet Depot and the E200 selling for a mere $519.99. [San Francisco Citizen] (Photo by Jim Herd)

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Thu, 26 Jun 2008 15:20:00 PDT Jackson West http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5020086&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Google's either in a hiring freeze or this guy didn't get a phone interview ]]> A tipster tries to convince us Google's cutting cost and clamping down on hiring:

I have heard grumblings of a hiring freeze at Google. Apparently the service staff haven't been able to bring on new people and an external company has been "auditing" the company since february. (read: efficiency experts and axe sharpening) While not bringing on new service people might not raise much an alarm, there also seems to be a significant cut in engineering recruiting with qualified candidates not even getting a phone interview.

We're pretty sure that Google is still aggressively courting top talent, and with unemployment up that means they can be even pickier about granting interviews. Don't lash out at Google just because they don't pick up the phone — after all, a 3.49 undergraduate GPA doesn't get you a callback to take care of Googler spawn.

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Fri, 20 Jun 2008 11:40:00 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5018349&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Google executives complain about 90 denied H-1B visas ]]> Never mind that it rejected over a million other hopefuls last year: Google is really steamed that only 210 of its 300 work-visa hopefuls won the H-1B lottery. And Google lobbyist Pablo Chavez has also had it up to here with critics who say Google isn't doing enough for Americans and underprivileged U.S. students, insisting that Google has a diverse workforce and may even have some non-offshored money for black and Hispanic students — once they've proven their worth by completing two years of a computer-science or computer-engineering major on their own with a 3.5+ GPA — this at a time when budgets are down across the board for academic computer-science programs.

Pablo goes on to argue that if it was left up to U.S.-born talent, great software like Orkut might never have been developed. There you go!

In a follow-up, Computerworld reports Google PR is tap-dancing around the question of whether the 90 workers denied H-1B visas were actually denied any job at Google or just U.S.-based jobs. "As a company with a global presence, we're fortunate enough to be able to have employees work for us in other countries if they're not permitted to stay in the U.S.," a Google spokesperson emailed. "That said, many of our core products are created and improved upon here. We also believe that worker satisfaction is higher when employees can work in the location they prefer." So there you have it: According to Google, it's not applying for H-1B visas because it needs to have its workers in the U.S. It's just doing it for fun.

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Fri, 06 Jun 2008 13:40:00 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5014055&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Google's suburban sprawl ]]> Google's announcement today of a massive campus expansion was inevitable. Having taken over every last scrap of office park around it not occupied by neighbor Intuit, Google is expanding the Mountain View Googleplex to the west — and, more controversially, to the east, on land owned but poorly used by Nasa. Ignore the happy talk about Google and Nasa's scientific partnerships; those are an obvious fig leaf to cover the use of public land by a private entity. (Let's not even get started on Larry Page, Sergey Brin, and Eric Schmidt's sweetheart deal to park their party plane on Nasa grounds.) Google has grown to be a powerful employer in the Bay Area, and its wealthy executives donate freely to local politicians, so we should hardly expect the powers that be to stop it. What's good for Google is good for America, or so we'll be told.

What ought to stop this search-engine sprawl: Googlers' own consciences, if they are still guided by the "Don't be evil" slogan. Developing new offices on the very fringe of Bay Area's suburbs, on areas that used to be wetlands, or neighbor the fragile ecosystems, is unconscionable. Despite the perk of free shuttle buses, most Googlers still drive carbon-emitting cars to work.

The Bay Area's infrastructure allowed Google to blossom. The region has asked far too little of it in return. Google should commit now to funding the extension of Santa Clara County's light-rail system through its new campus and its old one. It should also expand in cities like San Francisco, already served by public transit, rather than shuttle its workers 40 miles each way. Eliminating energy expended in transportation is far more productive than finding clever ways to achieve marginal efficiencies.

The environmental impact is one thing. But the business impact is another. Google's executives should also ask themselves: What kind of company do they want to be? Do they want to remain cloistered from the world, or engaged in it? Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg chose to place his company in downtown Palo Alto, with all the difficulties that poses; his choice meant that his workers rub shoulders daily with Stanford students, entrepreneurs, venture capitalists — and, shockingly, people not involved in the tech industry. On the Googleplex, Googlers live in a world of sameness, with people who never challenge their technology-über-alles worldview.

Larry and Sergey have built themselves a candy-colored bubble on the outskirts of Mountain View. By inflating it, as they've chosen to do, they only increase the risk that a competitor more in touch with the real world will pop it.

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Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:00:00 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5013235&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Details on Google's new campus at Nasa's Ames base ]]> Google finally announced details of its plans to build a new campus on property owned by Nasa at the space agency's Ames Research Center. The ongoing partnership with Nasa was first announced three years ago. The initial terms of the forty-year lease peg rent at $3.66 million a year, with adjustments to the rate based on property-value assessments and up to five 10-year extensions to the contract. Construction isn't due to begin until 2013, with Nasa approving any designs. Proposed amenities beyond office space on the 44-acre plot will include dining, day care and recreation facilities. Not to mention that the Googlejet, the party plane jointly owned by cofounders Larry Page and Sergey Brin and CEO Eric Schmidt, will be that much more conveniently parked at the Moffett Field spot that the troika already rents for $1.3 million. Their rental isn't part of the deal, but isn't it convenient that they can negotiate with the same helpful government officials to fill their needs for both work and play?

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Wed, 04 Jun 2008 13:00:00 PDT Jackson West http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5013165&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Report: At Google, "resource allocation is a laissez-faire mess" ]]> Lots of Googlers are leaving Google. To find out why, Fortune magazine profiled Sean Knapp, who along with friends left Google to cofound Web video startup Ooyala, "leaving behind the perks, the 20 percent time, and a combined seven-figure pile of unvested options." But as Blogoscoped notes, the most revealing part of Fortune's article is the bit where it describes Google Apps VP Dave Girouard's struggle to get anything done:

At Google, what you often end up with instead of resource allocation is a laissez-faire mess. Take, for example, the hassles Dave Girouard had to face. Girouard is vice president in charge of Google Apps, the company's fledgling initiative to sell Web-based software applications to businesses. He wanted some alterations to Gmail to make the email product more appealing to his corporate customers. To do that, he needed to lobby Gmail engineers, who don't work for him. He likens his efforts to a Peace Corps mission: all heart but little power to enforce his will. Yet while Girouard is begging for engineers, others, like the Ooyala founders, get blank-check offers.
(Photo by TitaniumDreads) ]]>
Tue, 13 May 2008 09:20:00 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=389868&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Toogle many Googlers -- at Facebook ]]> Toogle many ex-GooglersDespite her protestations of innocence, it's pretty obvious that Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg had a hand in getting top Google flack Elliot Schrage to follow her to her new employer. She's not alone. One Facebook insider recently observed that for every Googler hired at Facebook, they pull another four former colleagues with them. The place is getting "overrun," says one close observer of the company.

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Mon, 12 May 2008 17:00:00 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=389552&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Why Google's drowning in talent ]]> SchrageLooking at the departure of top Google flack Elliot Schrage for Facebook and concluding that the search engine is suffering a "brain drain" is the laziest journalism on the subject I could imagine. The BBC's take on the subject is predictable, citing the same names — Ben Ling, Ethan Beard, even chef Josef Desimone — everyone else does. The most telling thing is actually a Google spokesbot's programmed response: "We have a deep management pool at Google." The problem at Google is not that its brains are going out the drain. It's that the drain is plugged up, and not nearly enough are leaving.

Google does everything it can to coddle its engineers, both financially and physically. By shifting from stock options to restricted shares, it has made their compensation less dependent on the swings of the market, and thus discouraged departures that might otherwise take place.

The management pool at Google is deep indeed, and some find themselves drowning in it. Making a splash is harder and harder, as the company reins in its chaos; to those fighting to get unloved projects launched, a clique close to Larry and Sergey seem to be the only ones at the company who matter.

Human-resources departments pride themselves on minimizing turnover. But Google's "people officers" might want to rethink their approach. A bit of churn could do the company good — from the top of the company on down.

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Thu, 08 May 2008 17:00:00 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=388696&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ FuckedGoogle is back, and better than ever ]]> fuckedgoogle.jpgThe chronicle of everything wrong with Google promises more sources and more dirt on the company. Probably best not to send tips via Gmail. [FuckedGoogle]

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Fri, 04 Apr 2008 05:00:00 PDT Jackson West http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=376019&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Google's executive rolls outpacing stock growth ]]> When Google debuted on the stock market in August 2004, it had a lean 10 executives at the top. Over the last four years, the number of senior managers kept pace with the growth of the stock. Until recently, when for the first time in the company's history, the ratio of executives to stock price became less than 10:1. The opposite of lean? Bloat.

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Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:40:00 PDT Jackson West http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=375866&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Toogle many Googlers? Not if you scream for ice cream ]]> Think Google's mostly mythological 20 percent rule is an over-indulgence? Try mint vanilla and cayenne chocolate ice cream. Because Charles Siegel's unlimited chocolates in the cafeteria aren't enough, the above-pictured Google engineer used her extra time to create the new ice cream flavors for her co-workers. Sounds tasty, but will such confections survive the advent of the piggish DoubleClickers?

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Thu, 27 Mar 2008 09:40:00 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=372918&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Beautiful, oversexed Google headcount grew 57 percent last year ]]> OverinflatedDuring Google's fiscal 2007, employee headcount grew from 10,674 to 16,805, according to the company's annual 10-K. That's a 57 percent increase. And all during a year in which CEO Eric Schmidt said the company had begun to watch the headcount for fear of overhiring. Still, I'm not complaining. Just so long as this pace leads to more commencement speech-giving, fiddle-playing, beauty pageant-winning Googlers on campus. And more sex parties off campus. (Photo by Otherdave)

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Mon, 18 Feb 2008 09:40:00 PST Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=357581&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Bradley Horowitz from Yahoo to Google? ]]> Bradley HorowitzMicrosoft's bid for Yahoo has many eyeing the exits. But we hear that Bradley Horowitz, the VP in charge of Yahoo's advanced products group, has been plotting his escape long before Steve Ballmer's bear hug made it trendy. Since late last year, he's been interviewing at Google. It's not clear if he'll actually get the job, though. Google's hiring process is legendarily slow, but Larry and Sergey can get things moving on candidates they're keen on. If Horowitz was really wanted at the Googleplex, wouldn't he be working there by now? Or was Google just waiting to oust Chris Sacca, making room for another voluble professional conference attendee? Update: Bradley, we misunderestimated you. TechCrunch reports Horowitz is working on one of Google's most vaporous projects: its OpenSocial widget platform, alongside Excite founder Joe Kraus.

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Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:10:08 PST Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=355750&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Googlers stranded at the airport during company trip to Disneyland ]]> A tipster writes from the San Jose airport:

Google has taken over san jose airport as they all go to disneyland for their company trip. Everyone is in love with them. Best moment...all flights are currently delayed so naturally the quick thinking googlera are buzzing gate agents trying to jump on other flights. Thankfully the airlines are not allowing googlera to change their group assigned tickets. I LOVE watching googlers argue in earnest only to be denied by the polite agent who lets escape a wry smile after each denial, much to the pleasure of nearby nongooglers. What ... Sergey's plane is too busy running NASA experiments to help out?
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Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:35:52 PST Jordan Golson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=352543&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Still toogle many Googlers ]]> Google added 889 people this quarter, bringing the total to 16,805. The company notes that the pace of hiring has slowed. Are we supposed to applaud Google for expanding headcount at the rate of 24 percent a year? And what, pray tell, are all those 889 new people doing?

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Thu, 31 Jan 2008 13:50:51 PST Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=351305&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Spending hours in the cold waiting for Steve Jobs is Googler tradition ]]> After I left the Gizmodo/Ars Technica party, I headed down to the Moscone Center to check out the line of Mac fanboys enthusiasts waiting in line 9 hours before the show actually begins. When I got there, I noticed a strikingly familiar face amongst the glow of iPhones and MacBooks: Google Executive Marissa Mayer!

It turns out that, for the past several years, Google employees have staked out early spots in the Macworld keynote admissions line. Arriving well prepared with pizza, coffee and a tent, the Googlers "work" (is this twenty-percent time?) in shifts holding line spots so 40-50 Googlers can get good seats. I convinced a few of the them — including Marissa! — to speak to me for a couple minutes and pose for a picture. Why were they waiting in line so early? "The man gives a great presentation. Hopefully we can learn something."googlemacworldkeynoteline.jpgFrom left to right: Chrix Finne, Associate Product Manager - Google Reader; Nick Baum, Associate Product Manager - Android; David Murray, Associate Product Manager - Gmail; Fernando Delgado, Associate Product Manager - Search Quality; Marissa Mayer, Vice President, Search Products & User Experience; a friend of Marissa's whom I believe was named John.

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Tue, 15 Jan 2008 03:14:41 PST Jordan Golson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=344893&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Chris Sacca's failed career at Google ]]> Chris SaccaA correction on that earlier Chris Sacca item: We're told by a Google insider that Sacca, the blustery big thinker who claims to have led Google's multibillion-dollar blind stampede into wireless spectrum and forced the entire industry to open up, never even made it to the director level at Google. His true title, "head of special initiatives," was a sop to make up for the fact that he never even made it into the lowest ranks of executive management.

That Google planned to hire a "director of other" who would engage in similar pointless visioneering while outranking Sacca was almost certainly his formal cue to leave. (We don't know if Sacca was smart enough to take it, or if his departure was cluelessly coincidental.) And to think, this middle manager is now going to advise entrepreneurs on how to run their business. More proof that Silicon Valley is a luckocracy.

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Thu, 13 Dec 2007 12:00:11 PST Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=333644&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Chris Sacca leaves Google, continues do-nothing plan ]]> Chris SaccaIn a long-overdue move, Chris Sacca, Google's "director head of special initiatives," has left the company. Cleverly, though, he's moving into a new career where he can continue to talk a lot and let others do the work: He's becoming an angel investor, working with Evan Williams's Obvious, the company which spun off Twitter, and Paul Graham, whose Y Combinator specializes in funding companies with utterly adorkable names. We figured Sacca's career at Google might be foreshortened when Google listed an opening for a "director of other," since that pretty much sounded like Sacca's job. Doing anything other than work. Congratulations, Chris: In a Valley that unfairly discounts laziness, you're now the ultimate value stock.

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Thu, 13 Dec 2007 09:33:30 PST Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=333534&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Google laying off contractors to cut costs ]]> Toogle.gif"FYI, Google is about to layoff all of their temp/contract recruiters to do some cost cutting," whispers a tipster. We knew it had to happen sometime, but didn't Google exec Marissa Mayer just say laying off surplus employees would indicate Google has become "too dry, too corporate, too much about making money."? Oh, wait. That was her defense for keeping around the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button which costs the company $110 million a year, by some estimates. Mayer's no efficiency expert, so let's not rely on her opinions. Laying off recruiters, people who get paid for adding bodies willy-nilly, is a sensible first step to curing Google's hiring bloat. Next, how about some executives?

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Wed, 05 Dec 2007 09:17:05 PST Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=330223&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Another Googler takes credit for AdSense ]]> headshot_gokul1.gifFortune is reporting that Google engineer Gokul Rajaram is leaving the Googleplex for a stab at his own company. Rajaram's greatest achievement? Oh, this little thing called AdSense, you heard of it? The ad system that places Google ads on blogs and Web 2.0 apps, keeping them financially viable against all business logic? After being hired in 2003, Rajaram supposedly worked to create the ad publishing network which now brings in, Fortune writes, "one-third of Google's revenue." Let's get this straight, people.

Susan Wojcicki did not invent AdSense, Marissa Mayer wasn't really involved at all, and this dude is saying he's the "godfather" of the system? Perhaps true, but more in a distant-send-you-a-birthday-card definition of "godfather." Looks like Fortune realized the error. The title of the story now refers to Rajaram as an AdSense "developer," but look at the URL. The original headline "adsense-creator-leaves-google" is still up there. And Rajaram is still quoted as saying, "When we started AdSense ..."

AdSense was a product created by Applied Semantics, a company Google acquired after it hired Rajaram, so for him, starting AdSense would be an especially neat trick. Oh, Rajaram meant the in-house ad system Google claims it rebranded as AdSense after buying Applied Semantics? Well, why didn't he say so?

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Fri, 16 Nov 2007 14:56:42 PST Megan McCarthy http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=323900&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ It's Google's world, you just live in it ]]>

"Have you ever heard of Google?" asks associate product manager Alex Vogenthaler of a smiling man.

"No."
To purge the planet of this unacceptable answer, Google "seeks brilliant kids and slots them directly into important jobs—no experience necessary," according to Steven Levy in the latest Newsweek. You gotta wonder: Is Google, which supposedly overhired this year, cooperating with such stories to attract even more bright young employees? Or just to rub it in our faces?

(Photos L-R by Z. Koren / Polaris; J. Silberberg / Panos; P. Blakely / Newsweek) ]]>
Mon, 05 Nov 2007 08:55:21 PST Paul Boutin http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=318698&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Beat on the brats with a baseball bat ]]> bathead.jpg"The day before Google went public in 2004, Wayne Rosing, then the vice president for engineering, stood on a stage during a companywide meeting and brandished a baseball bat. He threatened to use it on anyone's car in the Google parking lot that was anything flashier than a 3 Series BMW." — NYT reporter John Markoff details the Googletards' militant ban on conspicuous consumption. Because really, two Boeing jetliners is all anyone needs.

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Mon, 05 Nov 2007 05:38:38 PST Paul Boutin http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=318679&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Google's chief navelgazer ]]> CerfSuckers.jpgMore details are in on Internet godfather and Google "employee" Vint Cerf's comfy search-engine sinecure. After confusing the press and financial analysts last week with an obviously winging-it speech about Google's future in space, Cerf, the company's "chief Internet evangelist," has gone on the record with detailed plans on how to waste shareholder money now that he's stepping down from his role as ICANN chairman. For starters, he's writing a book of poetry.

In total, Cerf is writing five books while on Google's payroll. Only one of them will spread the good word on the Internet. Besides that and the book of poetry, he's writing a book anecdotes, a biography of his wife and a book on the concept of bindings.

The rest of Cerf's time is spent as honorary chairman of the IPv6 Forum and assisting NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory. And where does all this timewasting go down? Cerf is based in northern Virginia, but he also has an office in the Googleplex, two doors down from Google CEO Eric Schmidt. Schmidt might want to have Cerf spend a bit more time in the latter. (Photo by AP/Paul Sakuma)

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Mon, 29 Oct 2007 11:26:26 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=316194&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Earth to Vint Cerf -- get back to work ]]> Toogle Many GooglersIf anyone deserves a gig where he can sit back, pontificate and do very little work, it's Vint Cerf, the man who helped come up with the basic network protocol of the Internet. Lucky for him, he got exactly that when Google hired him on as its "Internet evangelist" in September 2005. What does an Internet evangelist do? Make shit up.

Yesterday at Google's Analyst Day, Cerf told the crowd of 300 financial analysts and press that in the next few decades, scientists will have created an "interplanetary Web," connecting spacecraft, satellites and distant planets. Google will "help to organize it just like we organize" everything else, Cerf is quoted as saying, referring to Google's mission of organizing the world's information.

I'm sure its all true. But other than help inflate Google's share price relative to its earnings — there's a lot of room to grow in space, analysts might think — what the hell does it have to do with Google's third quarter? And now that we think about it, Google's mission is to organize the world's information, not the solar system's. So typical. He's doing that thing geeks always do to avoid work: Talk about how great the next version is going to be.

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Thu, 25 Oct 2007 11:37:09 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=314927&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ More Googlers getting bored with gloating ]]> Salman UllahGoogle just lost Salman Ullah, director of corporate development and a major acquisition dealmaker. According to reports, Ullah bolted to start a venture firm, Merus Capital. Sean Dempsey, also formerly part of Google's corporate development group joined his escape. Ex-Microsoft general manager of corporate strategy Peter Hsing will join the pair. Google mouthpiece Jon Murchinson is keeping the story shiny, telling people of Ullah, "We wish him the best." The best speedy path out of the Googleplex, that is. Tell us, readers: Was this sudden break-up really so amicable? And why are so many people leaving Google's corporate-development department?

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Wed, 24 Oct 2007 09:22:58 PDT Nicholas Carlson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=314389&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ "When you're moving as fast as Google is, ... ]]> "When you're moving as fast as Google is, you don't always get the chance to button up the little things, and over time they build up and become annoying." — Over-enthusiastic Google engineer Bharat Mediratta, whose 1,000-word PR piece in today's Times is one of those annoying little things the company should button up. Let the man go fix some bugs or something. [NYT]

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Sun, 21 Oct 2007 22:48:01 PDT Paul Boutin http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=313346&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ San Francisco "artists" shake down Google ]]> sfbg.jpegThe Bay Guardian, San Francisco's fun crazy newspaper for broke ultraliberals, demands that Google pay $5,000 per employee to subsidize the rent of the Googlers' increasingly resentful, less fortunate neighbors. Yet the Guardian lobbies against Google's offer to provide free Wi-Fi for the city, on the blinkered ideological grounds that it should be a municipal utility. Imagine it: Our inbred city government that can't fill a pothole on Mission Street, trying to set up the world's largest outdoor 802.11b/g network. Priceless.

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Sat, 20 Oct 2007 13:03:16 PDT Paul Boutin http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=313219&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ "Half the company has been hired in the last ... ]]> "Half the company has been hired in the last 12 months. That's chaotic. The new employees find it difficult to figure out how to get things done. It's not a normal company." — Jordan Rohan, an analyst with RBC Capital Markets, on Google's lack of a hiring strategy. [News.com]

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Fri, 19 Oct 2007 15:53:41 PDT Jordan Golson http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=313069&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Googlers full of pizza, themselves ]]>
The overgrown search company's press page links to a clip that begins by explaining its telephone directory service in a charmingly folksy way. It then shifts bizarrely to a self-fawning montage: "This is the GOOG-411 team. One of them is the voice of Google. Can you guess which one?" We'll give away the answer: Nobody cares.

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Mon, 15 Oct 2007 07:30:00 PDT Paul Boutin http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=310706&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Google's bloat crosses the Atlantic ]]> Google is hiring engineers in Europe, with the intent of one day having as many coders there as they do today in North America. But wait, doesn't this contradict Google CEO Eric Schmidt's promise to Wall Street to cut back on the pace of hiring? For our part, we're fine with the notion of Google adding more engineers, as long as they cut back on some of the bloat in headquarters. Fire away!

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Thu, 27 Sep 2007 11:11:05 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=304512&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ At last, Google gets a brand man ]]> Andy BerndtIt's a dilemma for Google: It spends very little on advertising, preferring to let its products speak for themselves (and leaving its marketing chief, David Lawee, without much of a job). And why not, since that's given it the world's most cost-effective brand. But that has left the company tone-deaf in speaking to Madison Avenue, since it hardly practices what it preaches. Finally, as I've advised for ages, Google has hired a brander-in-chief, Ogilvy & Mather's Andy Berndt.

Berndt will work with agencies on using Google's new ad products — which now range from text links to banners, video, and radio ads — more creatively. He'll also, most importantly, work on Google's own marketing efforts. Only one problem, as I see it: He'll report to Lawee, whose job now becomes even more pointless with Berndt doing all the work. If only Google followed my Darwinian "Toogle Many Googlers" principle, which would require the axing of some Googlers — say, Lawee — to make room for new hires like Berndt.

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Tue, 18 Sep 2007 22:42:07 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=301267&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Google Health claims its first victim ]]> Just as we predicted, the Google Health project has killed off one top exec. And in record time, too! Head of the project Adam Bosworth has decided to move on from the company once he gets back from vacation. Now in charge? One Marissa Mayer, long the object of Valleywag's fascination. While the powers that be will try to spin this as a promotion, we think that Marissa might want to dust off the old resume. Becoming the head of health is the tech equivalent of being named the drummer for Spinal Tap. After the jump, the email explaining the management change sent to all Google Health beta testers.
Dear Trusted Testers:

Some of you may have recently seen the news about Adam Bosworth. Adam has decided to pursue other opportunities and is currently on vacation. While we are sad to see Adam go as he is a great talent and was instrumental in starting Google Health, we will be moving forward with our product plans and are 100% committed to health. Marissa Mayer, Vice President, Search Products and User Experience and Adam's former manager at Google is leading the health team. Marissa had been keeping track of our product progress through weekly meetings with Adam and myself and other key Product Managers.

For those of you who may not know Marissa - she is best known for being the first female engineer at Google and helped launch Web Search. She currently owns the User Interface design for all search related products and manages over over a 100 Product Managers at Google who in turn influence thousands of engineers. She is known throughout the tech industry for her expertise in user interface design and user experience and has also been widely quoted and featured in prominent publications such as Newsweek ("10 Tech Leaders of the Future"), Red Herring ("15 Women to Watch"), Business 2.0 ("Silicon Valley Dream Team"), BusinessWeek, Fortune, and Fast Company. Her bio is included below to help you get familiar with her.

http://www.google.com/intl/en/corporate/execs.html#marissa

We also have recently added staff to the health team and we want to introduce you to them as you will be working with them on testing. Jerry Lin, M.B.A. recently joined Google as a Product Manager and will be managing coding and UI. Maneesh Arora, a seasoned Product Manager at Google, has come over to the health team and will be working on partner support and scaling our Third Party partner services. Roni Zeiger, M.D. will continue to work on the Health Guide and I will continue to be involved with partner integration. As many of you know, we launched our product internally for testing to a subset of Google employees on August 16, 2007. We are continuing to get feedback from employees and will be expanding the number of employees who can test in the next few weeks.

If you have any further questions about our staffing, feel free to contact my colleague Missy Krasner at missy@google.com

Thank you again for your ongoing support.

Eric Sachs
Product Manager
Google
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Wed, 12 Sep 2007 17:14:14 PDT Megan McCarthy http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=299343&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Eric Schmidt's girlfriend gets the Googler crown ]]> Marcy Simon, the Duchess of West ChelseaWhen Larry Page and Sergey Brin hired Eric Schmidt as Google's CEO because, among other reasons, he'd been to Burning Man, they must have known they were getting a boss with alternative values. But did they know that their newly hired grownup would prove to be Google's adulterer supervision? Schmidt is famous for having a series of girlfriends, despite being married, to whom he's reportedly promised marriage. Ones known to Valleywag include Rita Koselka and Marcy Simon. But it's Simon, his current fling, who might concern Page and Brin. Why? Because Simon has apparently wangled a desk and a phone line in Google's cramped New York offices.

Packed to the gills in its West Chelsea offices, Google is on the hunt for more office space in the neighborhood. And Schmidt himself has noted how a rampant hiring binge led to a squeeze on profits in the second quarter. Schmidt defended the overhiring, saying the people Google brought on were of such high quality that, in retrospect, company management didn't mind, but they're now easing back on adding new recruits. (We've been trying to help out with our "Toogle Many Googlers" series.)

Imagine how Googlers will feel when they learn that the real-estate crunch and the hiring cutbacks are partly because Schmidt felt the need to make room for his girlfriend. When you dial Google's New York number and get through to the automated phone directory, Marcy Simon's listed, and a tipster says she definitely has an office there. What her duties at Google are is unclear.

Also unclear is what happened to the job Simon, in February, landed at Ogilvy PR as a "senior advisor." Perhaps her colleagues at Ogilvy already felt they'd had enough advice?

The gall of Schmidt — whether he's actually put his girlfriend on the payroll, or just provided her scarce New York office space — puts us in mind of Charles II, the Restoration ruler of England. That king was famous for giving his mistresses royal titles, so it would be more seemly for him to consort with them. Perhaps Schmidt, in his imperial delusions, thinks that giving Simon a direct-dial line at Google will make his spending time with her seem less questionable.

Hardly so, of course. But we're nevertheless taking the occasion to crown Simon as the Duchess of West Chelsea. Because this is — how to put it delicately? — royal bullshit.

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Tue, 04 Sep 2007 06:47:34 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=296074&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Google CFO George Reyes to retire ]]> George ReyesDoes anyone really believe it's a coincidence that Google CFO George Reyes has announced his retirement so soon after the company missed Wall Street analysts' expectations for earnings in its second quarter? I only regret that I hadn't included Reyes in our ongoing "Toogle Many Googlers" series, in which Valleywag attempts to solve the binge of overhiring that led to Google's profit shortfall. After all, if the CFO isn't minding the payroll, who is? When reading these departing-executive press releases, just imagine that the fond farewells are in opposite-speak, and they begin to make sense.

CEO Eric Schmidt says of Reyes:Though we fully appreciate his decision to step back from active management, we'll miss his thoughtfulness, good humor and wisdom.What he means:

That Reyes sure made us laugh a lot, especially when he tried to make us plan budgets, didn't he?
Google cofounder Larry Page adds:
He has done an excellent job in keeping us financially disciplined while protecting the best of our entrepreneurial culture.
But he means:
Reyes didn't warn us loudly enough that we were hiring too many people, so he's out of here.
And Reyes himself?
Working at Google these past 5 and a half years has been an extraordinary ride.
And what he means:
Stop the world, I want to get off.

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Tue, 28 Aug 2007 14:43:44 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=294401&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ What does Vint Cerf do at Google? ]]> Vint CerfVint Cerf, Google's Internet evangelist, really did invent the Internet. So we suppose it's okay for him to coast a little. But as with anyone with the word "evangelist" on his business card, we can't help but wonder what, exactly he does. A profile in the Times of London does little to clarify matters. Apparently Cerf worries about the security of Web browsers and operating systems — never mind that Google doesn't make browsers or operating systems. Cerf got his job by emailing Google CEO Eric Schmidt and asking if he needed any help. Schmidt replied, "Yes." We're thinking Schmidt might be wondering now if he should have been more specific — and if Cerf could be contributing to Google's little payroll problem.

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Tue, 28 Aug 2007 07:36:38 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=294143&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Pick the Googlers who have to go, part two ]]> Despite CEO Eric Schmidt's promises during Google's most recent earnings call, his company continues to metastasize. This time, it's threatening to swallow up all of New York's Chelsea neighborhood. I have an idea: Rather than lease expensive new real estate, why not boot some current Googlers to make room for new ones? Which brings us to this, the second edition of Toogle Many Googlers! Want to nominate a Googler for toogling? Send in a name and pic.



Tim ArmstrongTim Armstrong, we don't understand what you do. We thought the whole point of Google's AdWords was that the ads sold themselves, automatically, over this Internet thing we keep hearing about. But instead of keeping the servers running, you oversee a bunch of steak-and-martini-gulping, Glengarry Glen Ross-quoting, macho-posturing, flesh-and-blood salesmen. What's up with that? I guess someone has to manage the goons until Larry and Sergey perfect their salesbot prototype, but on top of your Google salary and options, you've got a side job gaming Google's advertising system at Associated Content. If you like that startup so much, why don't you go run it? Tim Armstrong, you're one Googler too many!

Peter Fleischer wants to see your man-boobsWhen it comes to privacy, Google's name is mud. Clearly, the advice coming from global privacy counsel Peter Fleischer can't be worth the salary his fancy title commands. On top of that, you seem to think that fat guys can't be trusted. Or at any rate, you're waaaay too interested in how jiggly your male colleagues' pecs are. Here's what you wrote to the Financial Times earlier this year:
Men should lose their "business attire" and wear T-shirts to work. Wouldn't you like to know whether your business partners are fit? Why should you trust a man in business if he abuses his own body?
We think you're spending too much time at the Google gym, and not enough worrying about your users' privacy rights. Our counsel: Peter Fleischer, exercise in the privacy of your own home!

jason_warner.jpgHas anyone not been spammed, willy-nilly, by a Google recruiter recently? If so, you have Jason Warner to blame. As head of staffing for Google's online sales and operations, he's overseen a department which can't seem to recruit even for its own needs. Word is that his operation is a constantly swinging revolving door. On top of that, he's made no measurable progress in correcting Google's sausage-factory status by hiring more women. He has ties to troubled Seattle job board Jobster, and I'm sure his colleagues are praying for the day he just gets a job there. Jason Warner, if you really think Google's a meritocracy, and not the boys' club you've helped build, then wouldn't you agree it's time you made room for someone more competent?
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Tue, 07 Aug 2007 13:30:02 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=287030&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Search giant devours New York's Chelsea neighborhood ]]>
Like a newly hired employee unused to the lavishness of its kitchens, Google's New York office is busting at the seams. The overgrown search engine is currently hiring for 111 different jobs in New York City, which means it's already filling up its Chelsea office on Ninth Avenue. (Apparently they haven't heard that CEO Eric Schmidt is trying to rein in hiring.) Now, the New York Observer reports that Google may have signed a 100,000-sq. ft. lease in the Chelsea Market building across the street. Google PR wouldn't comment. But what I really want to know is this: Will Google's new offices include a custom herpetarium for employees' snakes?

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Wed, 01 Aug 2007 12:57:32 PDT Owen Thomas http://valleywag.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=284973&view=rss&microfeed=true