Honestly, as painful as it was, I think it's ultimately a net positive for me. All most people hear is the vocal minority. I went to four parties Sunday night, was mobbed, and no one said a bad word. I haven't even gotten a single negative email. No one sees the hundreds of notes that have poured in supporting me, saying they were there and embarrassed, or the messages I've received from other Valley CEOs telling me they enjoyed the keynote and that we all get attacked at some point in our careers. It's just part of the job. Can't take the good without the bad.

Sabala, who started at Digg on February 6 as community manager and marketing director, is a SXSW veteran. (You can tell because she calls it "South By.") She was set on the idea of a party at the festival, but by Friday, she and the rest of Digg had decided it was a nonstarter. The next Monday, though, she gave it another try. A call to a Napa winery landed a sponsor for wine. A call to a contact at PureVolume secured the club for Tuesday night. With that, Sabala had a party that bridged SXSW Interactive's last day and the SXSW Music's first.

A few blocks away at Six Lounge, Revision3 was also bridging music and the Web, with a live debut of "Rock Band," Randi Jayne Zuckerberg and David Prager's homage to the guitar-wielding videogame at a party hosted by Rana Sobhany. Kevin Rose ruled Austin last night — he also cofounded Revision3.

Prager, Revision3's COO, told me Monday about the times he'd put money from his own bank account into Revision3's coffers to make sure it made payroll. Those lean days are long past for both of Rose's companies. Even as the stock markets waiver, Web startups seem flusher than ever. A Microsoft ad deal has buoyed Digg; the online-video boom is taking care of Revision3's paychecks.

Are we going to see this kind of party scene at next year's SXSW? Let's be clear: SXSW was a good time, not a boundless bacchanal. Nothing smacked of excess: A mild dose of star power is enough to intoxicate the deskbound Web designers who attend the festival. But I noticed that no one talked about the stock market once the whole week. SXSW was a comfortable bubble. As the Webheads fly back home, will they even feel it popping?

1. Choose a diner near your hotel. After 2 a.m., your options are Magnolia's Cafe, Katz's Deli, IHOP, or Denny's.
   
2. Practice your pickup line. Last night our host offered us a milkshake — innocent in itself, yet suggestive enough to prime us for the follow-on invite up to his room.
   
3. Charge your cell in advance. Once we figured out sex was on the menu, we rang up a fifth to bring in. We would have gotten more, but the room didn't have enough outlets for all our iPhones.

Strikeout! Mullenweg showed up at the last minute. One wonders: Was the recently minted millionaire dealing with fallout from his nasty Twitter fight with Six Apart's Anil Dash? Or was he just calling his broker? (Mullenweg later told me he just went to the wrong green room.)

Flickr's Cal Henderson says "fuck" a lot, which would seem to come with his job. "I'm Cal Henderson from Flickr, the kitten-sharing website" is how he introduces himself. He admits that one Flickr breakdown came about when he failed to use a basic Linux utility, df, to measure if he had enough storage available — a problem when you serve terabytes of photos. Still, it's a good problem to have. "A lot of people can ignore scale forever," he notes — because they never get enough users to bring their site down. "We serve 32,000 photos a second," says Henderson.

"One of the things I don't like about Web 2.0 is you as users want your data to be available, to stay up forever," says Digg architect Joe Stump. "As an engineer, I hate that."

Most of the panelists favor open-source software and cheap hardware. "Buying enterprise means they don't put their prices on the Web," says Mullenweg, the creator of blogging software WordPress. "It means you have to talk to someone with slick-backed hair for 30 minutes. It's uncomfortable."

If you can get over that, says Henderson, "the easiest way to solve scaling problems is to throw money at it. When you're a startup and you don't pay your engineers, then engineering is cheap and hardware is expensive. If you're paying for engineering time, that's expensive."

Stump takes a question from Pownce creator Leah Culver: "Where do you find your bottlenecks?" Stump's answer: "Bottlenecks never have to do with your [programming] language." Henderson instantly retorts: "Unless you're using Ruby." (Ruby is the language used by Twitter, among others, and some blame it for Twitter's outages.) Stump's comeback: "It's always your database or your file system."

StumbleUpon's Garrett Camp suggests testing new features on a small set of your audience, rather than everyone at once, so you test under real conditions but don't afflict buggy code on all of your users at once.

"When we look at the site, we ask, 'What don't we have to do right now?'" says Digg's Stump. Avoiding real-time updates helps avoid bottlenecks. Henderson says Flickr sometimes shows photo pages that are a minute old — again, to minimize load on the site.

That's a rare moment of agreement between Henderson and Stump. The two are back to sparring in minutes. Henderson's comeback to an obscure point Stump makes: "I don't want to work at Digg." Stump then ribs him: "So, Cal, you're moving over to Microsoft technology soon, right?" "Yes, we're moving over to .NET and SQL Server," is Henderson's deadpan response. That's the last zinger before the show wraps up.

Get Satisfaction president Lane Becker and CEO Thor Muller, who bought the tacos, delivered a spiel about their company's widget-based platform for Web-enabled kvetching. (Okay, I wasn't really paying attention, but I think that's close.) I chatted up the likes of Google design czar Jeff Veen and Blogger veteran Jason Shellen, freshly hired at LiveJournal. Shellen talked up the large team of engineers based in Russia now at his disposal. I don't think he liked my suggestion that they develop an algorithm to automatically filter out LiveJournal users based on statistical measures of their irrelevance.

If you want to drink and dance, the party's free. Just register at the website. But plastering your company's name on the wall at this hipfest is another matter. There are over a dozen sponsors, and social media upstart SocialThing reportedly paid $10,000 to attach its young brand to the "ranch" for the company's launch party last night.

You can't map the most off-the-chain (for you Olds, the new "off the hook") SXSW party on your shiny new iPhone. Ruby Red Labs and their {RV}IP Lounge and Karaoke Cabaret have been rolling merrily around Austin, bringing joy to geeks in need. Last night, after our second visit to the Fire Eagle party, {RV}IP driver and internet impresario Jonathan Grubb took a vanload of us back to the Hilton, blasting "These Boots Are Made for Walking." Watch this video, shot on the fly by Tim Shey of Next New Networks; it's almost as good as being there, but better if you actually were.

(Photos by Brian Solis)

• Say what you think, not what you think others want you to say.
• Listen carefully to what others are saying.
• Assume that a speaker is saying what they mean. If it seems unclear, try to find meaning. Give them the respect of hearing what they want you to hear.
• Demonstrate self-confidence and project a friendly, informed image.

Were you there, too? Or just want to add a caption? Leave a comment here or on the photo page.

(Photo of McCarthy and Thomas by Scott Beale/Laughing Squid; Loren Feldman and Owen Thomas by Brian Solis; gallery by Noah Robischon)

A criticism leveled at Lacy: She didn't ask tough questions. That charge is baseless. Zuckerberg just didn't answer the tough questions she posed. "We're not focused on that," said Zuckerberg in what's becoming his now-standard dodge. Zuckerberg couldn't articulate what Facebook was focused on, except for vague talk of "building a platform." (As panel host Heather Gold proved at a later session with Twitter's Evan Williams, if you ask a startup founder what a platform actually is, you'll never get a meaningful answer.)

A second critique: There was no real news. Lacy did herself no favors by trying to argue that getting Zuckerberg to confirm old revelations, like Yahoo's offer to buy Facebook, constituted a scoop. Facebook à la française? Quelle surprise.

What Zuckerberg needs to learn from his hero: The art of saying something. Jobs keeps his magic alive by only appearing on stage when he has something to announce. Zuckerberg is the boss; he could have held news for this event, or pushed to get products launched in time for him to talk about them.

At his keynote yesterday, Zuckerberg talked a good game about learning to be a CEO, giving up direct oversight of the product in exchange for "setting the tone" for Facebook. He's talking a good game — but under pressure, he reverts to geek form. Later today at SXSW, Zuckerberg is crashing a Facebook developer meetup, where he's going to take questions — the Q&A the audience howled for at the end of Lacy's interview.

Doesn't he have an evangelist to whom he can delegate the mundane task of placating needy Web programmers? He does, but he won't. For Zuckerberg, talking shop comes naturally. Running one is hard.

When it became obvious that the audience was hostile to her — cheering Zuckerberg when he told her to ask a question — she acted hurt, as if this hour was about her. Worse, she told us how tough her job was. It wasn't tough. It was a privilege and she was blowing it. And at the end, when she said that people should send her an email telling her what went wrong, she was so 1994; she didn't understand that the people in the crowd were already coalescing in Twitter and blogs into an instant consensus. Oh, if only there'd been a back-channel chat projected on the screen beside her. Then, she could have seen.