The defendants knew that options were not granted on the dates that were disclosed to shareholders and falsified the company's records to create the appearance of illegality, and thus bear direct responsibility for their actions.

A previous suit was dismissed because the actions by Apple directors and executives in 2000 and 2001 were too old for courts to consider. We're not sure yet what's so different about this case, except that it's well-timed for bad publicity ahead of the iPhone 3G launch.(Photo by AP/Paul Sakuma)

He scoffs at suggestions that the iPhone is about to become a mass-market handset because Apple has accepted mobile operators' pleas to subsidise it. "There goes the conspiracy again," he says of Apple. "You're declaring them a winner before they've earned it on the field."

The Verizon CEO is right. Until the second coming of JesusPhone starts working financial miracles, both here and abroad, the media should be a little more skeptical of the word of Jobs — we all know what happens to those who worship false idols. (Photo by AP/Dima Gavrysh)

Cook’s deep knowledge of Apple’s operations and ready command of detail has won him the respect of the board of directors and the investment community. A bachelor with a passion for cycling, he’s as steady and low-key as Jobs is temperamental.

Of course, as any Apple employee will tell you, "steady and low-key" doesn't strike the necessary fear into their hearts like Jobs' legendary tirades.

Jonathan Ive, the wildly talented designer and crowd favorite for the role, is apparently even more soft-spoken, and too shy to carry the yoke of showman that he would inherit. However, secret plans not obtained by Valleywag have revealed Jobs' succession plans: A top secret project begun by Jobs while still at NeXT to take back Apple by force if necessary has been quietly resurrected by Ive, with Apple engineers working only on small parts so as not to reveal the true goal — an indestructable cyborg assassin capable of verbally abusing ten times the employees in a single day while still finding time to ignore his no-longer biologically related daughter.

I, for one, welcome my new Robot Steve Jobs overlords.

A German study comparing the long-term effects of two variations of the Whipple procedure on 104 patients found an increase in diabetes and various degrees of gastric acid reflux, stomach ulcers, oily bowel movements, intolerance toward larger meals and aversion to certain foods.

It also lends credence to rumors Jobs is on a special diet, one that seeks to avoid or mitigate these symptoms. According to studies, 80 to 90 percent of patients who survive the surgery live at least ten years. Which means that barring some unfortunate complication, Jobs will probably be announcing products at keynotes through 2014.

Users got angry when Facebook dropped the News Feed on them out of nowhere in the fall of 2006. Developers are still grumbling about the pending redesign. Now, when Facebook introduces a change, it's announcement by slow drip — tremendously boring. Just like a Zuckerberg keynote. If Zuckerberg really wants to be like Jobs, he's going to have to stop worrying about the users, stop worrying about the developers, and start trusting his gut. Jobs displays utmost confidence in how his fans will receive his products — and that, not his presenting style, is what makes him so compelling.

(Photo by AP/Ruttle)

It's been suggested to me that I might take some time off this summer and focus on myself for a change. You know — do some yoga, take a calligraphy class, put on some weight

Fortunately, Fake Steve's lined up series of "heavy hitters" to take over the blog for the summer — Jerry Yang, Jony Ive, Mark Zuckerberg, Carl Icahn, J. Allard, Walt Mossberg, Robert Scoble, and Jonathan Schwartz. FSJ writes:

I know you'll miss me. I'll miss you too. Not really, but that's what I'm supposed to say, right? Ha! I'm joking. I really will miss you.

In perhaps related news, journalist Dan Lyons is leaving Forbes and taking Steven Levy's job at Newsweek.

Beyond vertically integrating yet another step in the process of making the popular devices, it would also keep the technology out of the hands of competitors, like the Samsung multitouch phone that looks strikingly similar to Jobs's pet project, and allow the company to keep an even tighter lid on leaks. The only thing Apple still won't do is fabricate the chips and assemble the devices, so while the boxes will still read "Designed by Apple in California," the devices inside will very much be "Assembled in China." (Photo by Chen Zhao)

VeriSign chairman Jim Bidzos
An employee's advice to senior management:

Don't drag out the divestiture process in an effort to get a few extra bucks. And if you're going to kill the whole thing, be honest with employees about opportunities.

AMD chairman and CEO Hector Ruiz
An employee's advice to senior management:

AMD needs to go back to basics. What business is AMD in, who do you need onboard to lead the company in that business, who do you need that can create demand for the product, and what do the customers want? Ignore the "how" and focus on the "who." Stop treating employees like costs and more like assets. Threatening cubical hoteling and pushing the "do more with less" story is oppressive, not inspiring. The most marketable talent will leave first.

EMC CEO and chairman Joe Tucci
An employee's advice to senior management:

Senior management needs to respect its employees, listen to feedback and not bury its head in the sand as it relates to issues of sexism and lack of diversity. The culture continues to be predominantly young white men and this is largely because people hire who they know. "Breaking the glass ceiling" requires a lot of sacrifice! They will cite a few examples of high profile women, but these are the exception, not the rule. Work/life balance is not a priority in this company. Most of the highest ranking professional women in this organization are unmarried or do not have children. They need to recognize the need for more flexible work options that promote the importance of family. And most importantly, there need to be consequences for illegal and unethical behavior, regardless of who commits it! People cannot be protected from this. There are too many blind eyes turned when sexual harassment, illegal business practices, or other unethical acts occur.

Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang

An employee's advice to senior management:

Be more open to the workforce opinions. Be more humble. Be less political. Listen more, do more, and quickly.

eBay CEO John Donahoe
An employee's advice to senior management:

Streamline the process so people can focus more on getting their work done. Share more of the details of the vision for eBay and the competition of eBay.

Symantec CEO John Thompson
An employee's advice to senior management:

Open your eyes to how the actually successful companies are doing it. Use your talent pool and clear the way to innovate internally. Shift the focus from salesmanship to inherent quality. Build products that sell themselves rather than needing an aggresive sales cycle to move.

Hewlett-Packard chairman, president and CEO Mark Hurd
An employee's advice to senior management:

Stop screwing the employees. Stop reducing benefits every week. Stop saying you plan to invest in research and development when you are actually reducing everything except your bonuses. Start treating people as people. Get some moral fiber.

EDS chairman, president and CEO Ron Rittenmeyer
An employee's advice to senior management:

As I said above, either learn to trust the junior leadership you put into place or replace them. Set goals and then GET OUT OF THE WAY and allow the leadership the flexibility to execute to them. If they don't perform, release them. The micromanagement culture has to stop.

IBM chairman, president and CEO Sam Palmisano
An employee's advice to senior management:

One thing is missing though, an acceptance of the fact that there are "superstars" in the world, and that these superstars perform several orders of magnitude better than regular employees. What is missing within IBM is the ability to seek out, and nourish these superstars. Over time superstars will leave IBM because they will get much more recognition in other organizations. This has an impact on IBM's ability to deliver some things.

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer
An employee's advice to senior management:

There is a severe lack of leadership in the company. With so many things going on it takes executives too long to commit to business decisions and too long to pick up on competitive responses to disruptive technologies.Microsoft promotes based on 2 facets - technical knowledge and political saavy. What Microsoft does not promote based on is leadership ability, managerial ability or business saavy.

(Photo of Ballmer by AP/Sarbach)

A healthy Steve Jobs with a bad beard in 1998.

In 2003, Jobs could have used a "bro."

Secretly diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2003, Jobs's weight loss was evident in 2004.

By 2005, he looked healthy again.

Notice the contrast between Jobs and Nike CEO Mark Parker in 2006.

By 2007, Jobs's frame verged on I've-fallen-and-I-can't-get-up frailty.

Jobs during Monday's keynote.


(Photos by AP/Susan Ragan, Richard Lewis, Mary Altaffer, Alastair Grant, Paul Sakuma)

• This year we will sell nearly 20 million [Windows Mobile] licenses. We sold more in the previous four quarters than RIM, and growth was greater than Apple’s iPhone.
• We give customers nearly 150 different phone choices — phones with full keyboards, touch screens, rich email, picture, music experiences, GPS, 3+ megapixel cameras, and voice activation. Features other operating systems have been slow to deliver.
• Customers can send instant messages or update their calendars in Brazil, Belgium, India, Italy.
• We deliver more than 40 different phones that run at 3G speeds, at prices that meet a range of customer needs.
• Windows Mobile customers have over 18,000 applications.
• Competitors are announcing upgrades we delivered to customers years ago.

Seen over Memorial Day weekend, Apple built a full scale store on a sound stage at the Warner Bros. lot in Los Angeles. On Memorial Day they proceeded to shoot a commercial that will be part of Steve's announcement on June 9, a la Steve's favorite team at TBWA/Chiat/Day. This was no small feat. This was a full scale and fully operable store, complete with laptops, iMacs, the kids pod, software and accessories on the shelf, functional genius bar. Everything you'd see at at the Apple store, was on the lot/soundstage (same one that The Perfect Storm was filmed on) in working order. The store took 2 days to build. Tear down was complete Monday evening (memorial day). Only a handful of people were allowed to stay for the shoot and no extras/actors were seen in the "store" when the shooting commenced.

(Photo by ifoApplestore.com)

Baba's teachings include the precept that showing kindness to others is the highest form of devotion to God, and writings compiled by noted mystic Ram Dass in the book Miracle of Love. It's an opportunity for Zuckerberg to appear deep when discoursing on management philosophy. More importantly, he can now share the experience with other tech titans as a sort of rite of passage in the tightknit world of the Valley's ultrarich. (Photo by Ken Wieland)

Scarcity. Viewers can access NBC for free from their TVs, NBC.com, Hulu.com, and, oddly enough, from their iPhones. Other than an ongoing trial in Wisconsin, HBO shows aren't available on the Web and viewers even have to pay to see them on their televisions. And isn't the difference between NBC's Crime Scene and HBO's The Wire worth paying extra for?

BusinessWeek gives Apple's iPhone and iPod much of the credit, but also blames Vista; 90 percent of office workers remain on XP. One factor BusinessWeek didn't account for: the Internet. As more of what people actually do with a computer takes place on the Web, the less it matters what type of computer users access it with. Now you know why Steve Jobs has Google CEO Eric Schmidt on the board — it's not for his personal charm. (Photo by atp_tyreseus)

Here's what's odd: Pixar is now owned by Disney, which cleared everyone "currently associated" with the company of wrongdoing. That includes Steve Jobs, Pixar's former CEO, now a Disney board member, but leaves Mather out in the cold. So far out that Disney itself hasn't disclosed her legal jeopardy to its own shareholders — the people whose Mather's Pixar backdating most affected.

Think flip phones and sliding keyboards, speculates reporter Jonathan Richards, citing anonymous industry insiders who say that it will be "radically different." Supposedly a flip model with a larger screen and a thumb-keyed model would suit those looking for a laptop replacement and heavy emailers, respectively. Color me skeptical — Jobs didn't cultivate his legions of consumer acolytes by asking what they might want, but telling them what they should want. (Photo by AP/Joerg Sarbach)

Who will also attend? Noted peace-lovers Tony Blair, the former British Prime Minister last seen leading his country into Iraq under false pretenses, and former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, last seen making lewd comments to younger women — but before that, secretly bombing Cambodia. Forward-thinkers, all.

No, this is about the twisted dynamics of the music industry. Selling unprotected MP3s is all the rage now, even though label executives have insisted for years on copy-protected formats, like the kind Apple sells through iTunes. Forget Jobs's propaganda about Apple wanting to "free" music from copy protection. He doesn't care one bit about the digital-rights management software, or DRM, that record labels insist on. And he knows that most consumers don't care about the issue. He just wants to sell iPods, and his customers just want to buy them.

What Jobs does care about is other music stores having something Apple doesn't. The labels have been favoring competitors like Amazon.com with licenses for MP3 files — because they now fear Apple more than they fear piracy. And Jobs knows that DRM doesn't work to stop piracy, anyway. But what it does do is lock music to devices, because hardware manufacturers can't risk breaking the DMCA's circumvention provisions.

So Apple needs a new hook to win the labels back. Selling subscription music would allow Apple to lock down its music once more. According to reports of the proposals Apple and the labels are considering, iPod buyers would pay anywhere from $20 to $100 to get all the music they can download. Ah, but they'd have to download it from iTunes, onto an iPod.

Bundling music would give Apple a huge edge over the competition. Nokia's also proposing an all-you-can-hear music plan. But for all of Nokia's talk about cell phones replacing MP3 players, only 7 percent of cell-phone owners listen to music on their handsets. Amazon.com could try a subscription plan, but it's hard to see how it would make money, since it doesn't have the iPod's hefty profit margins.

Jobs comes out on top, again. Apple sells more iPods by giving the record labels what they want — copy protection and revenue — without having to share the iPod's profits. The compliant tech press corps will hail his plan as genius, forgetting he ever said anything about consumers wanting to own their music. The losers here are the musicians. Apple and the labels will divvy up subscription revenues, and the artists' cut will likely be smaller than what they'd make off of by-the-song sales. But since when has anyone asked their opinion about how to run the music business?

(Photo by AP/Paul Sakuma)