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silicon valley users guide

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silicon valley users guide

VC advice: The best way to ask for money is to actually ask for money

After reading a long email from a wantrepreneur who never gets around to asking for funding, VC blogger Fred Wilson relays the following advice from a friend on how to close a deal:
The best advice my old man gave, and the advice he drilled most emphatically and repeatedly was, ASK FOR THE ORDER. You'd be amazed how many people talk to customers forever and never actually say ask for the order.
Fellow VC blogger and Half.com founder Josh Kopelman, advises, however, that "the way you ask is just as important as asking." Kopelman's anecdotal advice in 100 words: More »

7:00 AM on Fri May 9 2008
By Nicholas Carlson
1,429 views, 5 comments

Latest by raincoaster: @Peteski: Hipsters can't punctuate: when you realize it's actually, "Don't forget to tip fuckers" it becomes much more ignorable. more »

silicon valley users guide

10 things Twitter users should not do

The best way to use Twitter is to text "off" to 40404, the service's SMS shortcut number. But failing that, as more and more of us seem to do, here's a list of 10 things Twitter users should not do, inspired by a set of tips at SheGeeks.net. Mostly, since annoying Twitter users are easy to ignore, these rules are for your own safety and sanity. Ignore them at your peril. More »

10:20 AM on Mon May 5 2008
By Nicholas Carlson
2,597 views, 8 comments

clips

VCs tell founders how not to get fired

In today's Tech Ticker episode, venture capitalists Sharon Wienbar and Pascal Levensohn explain to Sarah Lacy how entrepreneurs can avoid getting fired during a downturn. We watched and took notes. Below, the clip and notes on the VCs' six essential points: More »

8:40 AM on Tue Apr 29 2008
By Nicholas Carlson
2,431 views, 18 comments

silicon valley users guide

Bow before King Michael: Arrington explains to the peasants how to get on TechCrunch

TechCrunch founder Michael Arrington presents "tactical-level advice on getting press for your startup" in this full-length video from Omnisio of his Stanford speech Saturday. His level of candor (or "transparency" in Valleyspeak) surprised even me. He openly admits to playing quid pro quo with his sources — you supply the exclusives, he provides the fawning coverage to show investors. Journalists might sniff at Arrington's ethical judgment, but it works for him — as long as startups play by his rules. All this reminds me of Europe's last great monarch. More »

5:00 PM on Mon Apr 21 2008
By Jackson West
2,146 views, 14 comments

Latest by Troll_2.0: @Michael Arrington: You smell. more »

silicon valley users guide

How to be a public figure the Hollywood way

Mark Zuckerberg dodged a bullet. His mug got featured on TMZ next to a picture of his secret mistress, and luckily she happened to be his actual girlfriend. Michael Arrington kicks Valleywag out of a party, giving our party report far more attention than it probably deserved. And Robert Scoble strikes a Roman Polanski-esque pose with an underage tech-starlet in his lap. As a captain of online industry, a hack covering the beat and a publicity-hungry B-lister, all three share one thing in common — they want the good stuff that comes with being public figures (free publicity, adoring fans, access to wealth) without the bad (salacious press, limited privacy and expensive hangers-on). The world, of course, doesn't work that way. So here's eight tips from the entertainment industry that might help them navigate the nascent perils of Internet fame. More »

Feature

5:00 PM on Mon Apr 14 2008
By Jackson West
1,263 views, 4 comments

Latest by raincoaster: @Scobleizer: Owen's paid well to keep those offline. more »

silicon valley users guide

Your April Fools prank sucks


Back in the '80s when Sun Microsystems was a hot, hip Valley leader, the company's engineers staged a series of April Fools' Day stunts that involved non-destructive hardware mods to the workplace. The most famous was in 1986. Overachieving 30-year-old manager Eric Schmidt arrived at work to find a VW Beetle, its engine running, had somehow been made to fit through the door of his office, like a ship in a bottle. More »

5:00 PM on Mon Mar 31 2008
By Paul Boutin
4,415 views, 15 comments

silicon valley users guide

How to read a tabloid newspaper

Tabloid newspapers are alien to the Valley. A scandal sheet like the New York Post rarely covers tech — and those are the only days you read it. We understand that it's jarring. Here's how to decode the Post's recent report on Microsoft's attempt to cobble together a Yahoo board. More »

12:20 PM on Fri Mar 28 2008
By Nicholas Carlson
546 views, 10 comments

silicon valley users guide

How to work during vacation -- the 100-word version

Vacations are for Middle America. But for some reason, VC blogger Fred Wilson's family still expects him to take them away from time to time. Here's how he copes, in a version you can read while packing your suitcase. More »

10:00 AM on Fri Mar 21 2008
By Nicholas Carlson
1,247 views, 5 comments

silicon valley users guide

How to write for your company's blog



I recently reported on blogging secrets of the stars. But as a Valley worker, you may end up blogging on your company's site, not your own. Corporate blogging is very different from personal blogging, regardless of what The 250 will tell you for a small fee. So I created this stack of product-managerese slides on how to write a company blog worth reading.

1:20 PM on Thu Mar 20 2008
By Paul Boutin
3,396 views, 15 comments

silicon valley users guide

Proper use of "The 250"

"The 250" (pronounced "two-fifty") is the derogatory term used in real-life conversations — never online! — to describe the self-promoting cloud of Web 2.0 popular kids who seem to be constantly typing but rarely building value. In short, The 250 only matter to The 250. I've collected and anonymized some real-life sentences from the field to help you use The 250 authentically. More »

2:40 PM on Mon Mar 17 2008
By Paul Boutin
2,542 views, 19 comments

silicon valley users guide

How to blog about your sex life and not wind up on Valleywag

Embarrassment never killed anyone. If anything, it's a turn-on. Why else do so many of us keep annotating our sex lives on the Internet, only to be shocked! shocked!when someone else finds out we're into spanking or peeping or "cupcaking"? Modern technology makes it possible to get your jollies without sharing them with your favorite gossip blog. More »

12:03 PM on Mon Mar 17 2008
By Melissa Gira Grant
3,833 views, 6 comments

silicon valley users guide

The 250

Not every conversation happens online. A phrase you won't find on Twitter or Technorati is The 250 — pronounced "two-fifty" — a cruelly sarcastic euphemism used in real-life conversations for the small, cliquey group of self-appointed Web 2.0 insiders who seem to spend their days blogging and Twittering about one another. The gist is that The 250 are the 250 people who matter to The 250. None of the other 6 billion people on Earth care which of The 250 are dating each other or got onto a panel at South By Southwest. I'm loathe to name names other than Valleywag editor Owen Thomas, whose site the other 249 check obsessively for mentions of themselves.

5:47 AM on Mon Mar 17 2008
By Paul Boutin
7,871 views, 16 comments

Latest by davesaunders: Same reverse-elitism used in reference to people in Toastmasters, the Rotary Club, or those meanies that didn't pick you for a game of kickball in Elementary School. Yawn more »

silicon valley users guide

VC Jeff Clavier: Founders, don't make money, take ours!

Palo Alto-based venture capitalist Jeff Clavier wants startup founders to stop trying to make money. Why? Because when founders start pulling in around $300,000 a month, they start to think they don't need VC. Which is correct. And bad for business. So here's a refresher on what Clavier and other VCs would prefer they do. More »

2:00 PM on Thu Mar 6 2008
By Nicholas Carlson
1,717 views, 14 comments

silicon valley users guide

How to schedule yourself at SXSW

Heading to Austin for the annual SXSW Interactive conference this week? You can tear your hair out trolling SXSW.com, Facebook, Upcoming, and your inbox. Or you can just go to Sched.org. Based on my experience, the latter seems easier. You can create group schedules — here's ours — and also see the most popular panels and parties. Don't forget to add Valleywag's joint party with Lifehacker and io9, Sunday night at the Side Bar.

4:40 PM on Wed Mar 5 2008
By Scott Kidder
444 views, 2 comments

Latest by Scott Kidder: @jessicam: there are bouncers all over the place, alas! more »

silicon valley users guide

Generation Y, watch your boss for these warning signs

Coddled by close-hovering helicopter parents, Generation Y (of which I'm a proud member) is incapable of taking initiative. (This very post was "suggested" by Owen Thomas, yet I get to take all the credit.) We never had to struggle up multiple hills, in the snow, to get to school, so we lack any true sense of accomplishment. To help managers deal with our overweening self-importance, BusinessWeek has come up with a bullet-pointed Generation Y workplace survival guide. No, it doesn't include anything helpful, like how to use Facebook or Twitter as management tools. It does suggest exactly the kind of boss behavior Gen Y will see right through, once we learn to recognize it. So how do you know if your boss is trying to game you into productivity? Here are the signs: More »

4:44 PM on Fri Feb 15 2008
By Mary Jane Irwin
4,734 views, 26 comments

Latest by bnpederson: @raincoaster: Many baby boomers expected to live off the land in peaceful communes, flappers of the roaring 20s were pretty entitled from what I've read, and Generation X wanted to mope while listening to grunge music for the rest more »

silicon valley users guide

How to write for Valleywag

New York Magazine has helpfully published Valleywag's internal style guide. Why keep it a secret? The full guide, written by very special correspondent Paul Boutin, follows. More »

2:20 PM on Tue Feb 12 2008
By Owen Thomas
2,073 views, 11 comments

silicon valley users guide

Tips for Yahoo on negotiating with Microsoft

Shpigler the Shark has some excellent advice for Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang on negotiating with Steve Ballmer. Remind him that he has other options. "He can go buy a country. Take $44 billion and buy a country. Go buy Liberia. Try and monetize Liberia! ... Be cool when you talk about numbers. You are bigger than $44 billion dollars. $98 billion in cash. If not, I will go to Google." Catch the full video after the jump. More »

6:00 PM on Thu Feb 7 2008
By Jordan Golson
2,348 views, 4 comments

silicon valley users guide

What to do when (everyone thinks) Google's out to get you

Editor's note: Google launched a new local news site today, a move which ostensibly puts it in competition with Topix. We asked CEO Chris Tolles what it's like to find your company up against the Big G. Here are his unfiltered thoughts.

What do you do when everybody thinks Google's competing with you? I woke up this morning with the eye of Sauron upon us. Google had (finally) launched Google Local News, something we're known for here at Topix. So, since I'm the CEO, I get the pleasure of wrangling this potential disaster. (Small favor from Google, launching the day after my birthday. Thanks guys). More »

2:20 PM on Thu Feb 7 2008
By tolles
1,176 views, 6 comments

Latest by Rick: I always wonder if competing against "the big g" is a kiss of death, but when you remember that they haven't really made much of many of their products, it's not so bothersome. If youtube can kick their ass more »