(Photo via jahnee_boi)

No real working girl is going to use the world's hardest-working zombie generator as a place to advertise for new clients. Still, Harvey is humiliated, and has called for Facebook to tighten up — to respond faster to user complaints about fraudulent profiles, and if they can't? To shut down, displacing users who want to hurl those most reliable of playground insults, "whore" and (don't feel left out, guys) "fag" to the rest of the Internet. (Photo via Daily Mail)

Craigslist executives said they abhor the fact that their site is being used for child prostitution but believe that the problem could be harder to track if they removed the category. "It would be a bigger problem if we removed that category and had those ads spread throughout the site," said Jim Buckmaster, chief executive officer of Craigslist.

Buckmaster certainly gives the role of concerned small businessman the appropriate gravitas, but it comes off as a little wooden. Personally, I would have pointed at Dave Elms, jailed proprietor of TheEroticReview and been all, "Why are we the focus of a scary CNN feature? Where's the salacious magazine piece about that guy, Ms. De La Cruz?"

Maybe you are new to this so I will < explain_the_game > 06/24 16:11:07

You will post an ad under Erotic Services that really does not belong because you are offering a Happy Ending, which is illegal.

You will try to be clever in your ad so that it is not too flagerant but still communicates your willingess to use your 38 inch chest for the gratification of your client's sexual desire.

The readers will read your ad. Some will call you and give you money for porviding the illegal service you are offering and that they desire. Others will flag your ad and it may be removed. Then you post another ad.

This is how the game is really played in Erotic Services. It is not according to the tou, but that is how it works.

Complaining here will not help because 99 44/100 percent of Erotic Services doesn't follow the tou

With the post being gone now, it's impossible to say that this came from an actual Craigslist moderator. That said, the community rising up to lay down the law like this, on what's allowed in Erotic Services, is maybe the only apropos way to trot out all those "Wild West" metaphors the cops adore when talking whores on the internet. It was all those Gold Rush Working Girls who were the first women to do business in San Francisco — and plus ça change, the more escorts will buck the rules of any advertising system.

The segment is worth watching as a study in how mainstream media covers the "virtual red light district" — and Dart plays right into CBS's hands. Like every other local law-enforcement agent who moves his vice department from street patrol to desk duty surfing sex ads, he's pushing the theory that shutting down Erotic Services might actually make his job easier. Mostly pointless public relations attempt or no, the sting is being sold as a way to protect women and children, and no one is going to argue with that — lurid hotel room footage of alleged prostitutes being shown on TV or no.

Yet another exposé of the "virtual red light district." The women who have been targeted by Elms are not "21st century streetwalkers", nor are they harbingers of "Whoring 2.0" — they are real women, with real careers, who have really been sexually harassed. The reason so few want to come forward, says activist and working girl Karly Kirschner, is that "these women have had a traumatic experience, probably are feeling used and manipulated and humiliated. They're in a state of shock like any other survivor of assault." Where some see a story about The Internet Gone Wild, escorts see business as usual in an industry where few take on-the-job harassment seriously.

Quotes from clients who talk as big a game to reporters as they do to escorts. The prospect of getting famous for sinking Dave Elms, a big figure in the sex-for-pay world, motivates obsessive clients like Dave in Phoenix, who has been complaining about Elms for years on a private email list meant for his favorite escorts only. But what do escorts have to gain from indulging a client's Nancy Drew fantasies of getting them to play girl detective? In a June 8 email leaked to Valleywag, Dave in Phoenix wrote:

We still need folks to talk to the reporter "on the record" the story is being delayed and reporter says will be bigger than we even know but he can't go into details. A major problem for the part of the story on extortion of gals to provide him sex or that being his demand is few credible companions are willing to come forward on the record even with names protected. He has many providers very scared of him, even in Phoenix. Reporter is getting impression that most companions are a bit "flaky" and doesn't know what to believe.

Flaky, or realistic? One escort explained that she wouldn't give an interview to the Times because "there would be no benefit for any provider to get involved. Dave Elms is in no way concerned with shame. He is married. He doesn't care what shame it brings to his family. He is only concerned with keeping his own ass out of prison." As Kirschner put it, "No court in the U.S. is going to hold Elms accountable for embezzling free sex from a bunch of criminal whores."

More avoidable outings by the Times. Kirschner raised concerns about the paper's ability to maintain confidentiality. At the peak of Spitzergate, the Times ran a story that contained enough identifying information on two of the sex workers interviewed that their family members and clients discovered them. Getting outed is the worst possible outcome of a Times story. The best is a crackdown on sites like TheEroticReview.com. Either way, the escorts risk losing their livelihood.

TheEroticReview.com changed the rules in the business of online escorting. It capitalized on the critical mass of prostitutes who, due to Web-based advertising, could go truly freelance and run their own business, without management. With TER, Elms has jockeyed to take the abusive middleman's place.

It's a difficult story, not nearly as sexy as Eliot Spitzer's high-class hotel hookups. Gold star to the Times for chasing it at all. Could the lack of a salacious hook be part of the problem? This may be a story best written by those no longer dazzled by the business, like the ladies in it — who are long used to dealing with guys who talk a good game but, in the end, just want a piece of them.

(Photo via NYT)

Independent traveling escort Ashley is one of the thousands of providers whose services have been reviewed on TheEroticReview. She had a run-in with Elms two months ago, when she asked that he change her name on the website to throw off a stalker. Elms took this opportunity to make his own pitch: "He said I'd make more money if I flew to Los Angeles," says Ashley. "He said I should come work out of the Sheraton LAX, and then come and see him at his home." She says Elms continued to call her every day for a week, insisting he knew how to run her business best — and that meant sleeping with him. She declined, and later found her reviews removed from TER.

Last week, after she heard that Elms had been jailed, she attempted to post a warning to escorts and clients on the board, but it was blocked by administrators and her account was disabled. "Those moderators, they do it for free to get to the girls," says Ashley. "They sit there all day on the site and bash you and then say if you want to post there [to advertise] you have to pay them!"

Elms is unlikely to face charges over these allegations of abuse. "He is versed in what the law says," Nancy explains. "He knew exactly what he could get away with and did it for a long time. In fact he could have continued getting girls to service him," had he not been jailed.

Of the escorts who came to me with their stories, none were nearly so concerned with retaliation from Elms as they were with the scrutiny of law enforcement and the safety of online escort advertising services. One former escort described what it took for her and her business to survive: Having sex extorted from her, not by Elms, but by police claiming to be investigating her. Nancy believes Elms will never be investigated for his business built on advertising prostitution: "I think that our society and our court system is much too conservative. The fact is we are talking about some scumbag who owns a website and a bunch of hookers who want 'justice' for being sexually extorted and mistreated. I don't know that the good 'ol boys would go for that myself."

And the fate of TER? In the last week, since Elms has been in jail, Ashley says she's seen three new clients — two from San Francisco — for $1,000 dinner appointments. She says they all found her through years-old message posts remaining on TER, even though she is currently not allowed to post herself. "One of the San Francisco guys was so smart and unbelievable ... I emailed him to say, you have too much going on for you, stay away from TER." Wishful thinking: "TER is the industry standard for men seeking providers," says Nancy. "There is no other that comes close. Reviews are what fuel the industry."

Will Elms's arrest change that? Not so long as other clients-turned-entrepreneurs can start their own escort-review sites. "I don't advertise anywhere," says Nancy. "All the business i get is solely based on reviews. Keeping this in mind you can imagine what kind of power Mr. Elms has had."

And what power there may to be grab, if this arrest spells the demise of his career in the sex trade. When Elms told Ashley, "I can show you the business if you come stay with me," she replied, "I don't need you to. I'm going to start my own website for the girls so we didn't need boards like yours."

And no, hiring a girl who is so brazenly branded with sex-shorthand like "BBBJ" is not a safe idea, as much as I don't want to lose these ladies any business. Girls, discretion — and getting your own blog — is advised.

Especially sad when there's legal places to get under a pretty girl's feet without getting arrested. Footnight organizes fetish parties where fetishists can, lapdance-style, offer tips to to women in exchange for massaging, licking, or sucking their toes and feet. Members'-only areas give foot guys a chance to review girls' photos before they show up, too. This would be an appropriate use of a social network to get kinky, but probably not one lawmakers will cite when attempting to regulate online sex negotiations — especially not if they rely on cops of Curtin's ilk to do the policing for them.

(Photo via Footnight.com San Francisco)

"I think of Craigslist as training wheels," says [sex worker activist Stacey] Swimme. "When a girl wants to work in the sex industry, she ought to able to contact a local union and ask, 'What kind of materials do I need? What training do I need?' Since that's not available, Craigslist is the easiest way."

No comment from Craig Newmark in the Riverfront Times piece, of course. Craig, care to say your piece here about your contributions to the sex trade? Trust me, the girls are grateful.

An outside estimate of how much a Second Life brothel owner may make is slightly less than $50K per year — in actual currency. One strip-club owner netted a quarter of a million dollars from her initial $4,000 investment. She's probably the anti-trafficking type's worst enemy, too: a single mom. Good thing she's conducting business Stateside.

Compared to online escort directories, that's chump change. Eros-Guide, for example, has been in business since 1997, and currently collects between $50 and $400 per month from approximately 5,000 escorts advertising, for an annual take of $500,000 even by the most conservative of estimates (not to mention the porn and sex toy ads they run). Review boards like TER and Redbook have a different business model, soliciting membership fees ranging from $100 to $180 per year from hundreds if not thousands of escort-seeking clients. With so many businesses profiting from just the lead-up to prostitution — from domain registrars to hosting providers — lawmakers may be left asking, who isn't a pimp here? The only crime Second Life is committing is not making more money off the business.

(Screenshot via YesButNoButYes)

(Photo via LA Times)

Go with the girls with phone numbers and stated hours. Whether it's the principal or his PA making the calls, this will narrow the field enough to give him a chance of scheduling with an escort who's available today. He could try for a girl working the hotel, but only if he's flirted already and just couldn't find a way to pop the question, "How could I convince you to fly away with me?" If she's got a price, she'll say so. Otherwise, an assistant can do the work of finding a date.

Offer a premium. No need to wait for her to explain that a last-minute travel request costs more that her standard fee; moguls would just ask right away. Since they're talking money now, which is usually off-the-record, they'll be extra precise in their language around sex. No winky innuendos about the very private nature of the jet — they'd just come out and say, "I'd like to cover your expenses and give you a bonus for taking time for me on such short notice."

Treat her like a client you want to spoil. Big business brains can do the thinking for her. They'll tell their girl she only needs to get into her lingerie, a long coat and state-issued identification (she doesn't have to show it, just have it available for the pilot), and then take the Town Car charged to their account. A last-minute trip to San Jose or New York doesn't call for a fantastic dress to wear out to dinner after, but they'll likely be gentlemanly to offer her enough of a bonus to fly home that night, or a hotel to freshen up in.

(Photo: Bella of San Diego)

"Who was that woman in a blue taffeta dress last night?"
"I'm thinking escort."
"Oh please, there were at least four pros here last night."

Lewis's show and the contest are sponsored by Marquis Condoms, and it's not the first time they've made social-network sexual controversy. When sly references to "poking" girls got its condom ads banned from national TV, Marquis employees uploaded them to less-censored Facebook:

Redeeming the winning date with Lewis may involve breaking Facebook's terms of service, if the exchange of money for sex isn't lawful where you live — or if Facebook chooses to believe that once a woman's placed a price on her time, even giving it away constitutes prostitution.

(Photo via Sunday Star-Times)

The flipside of their argument: Craigslist is how an Oakland teenager forced to work as a prostitute was discovered — when her uncle saw her ad in Erotic Services. Not for Sale, an anti-trafficking organization based in San Francisco, prefers to have Craigslist around, and doesn't believe much would be gained from shuttering Erotic Services — or, as their co-founder says, "The illusion that shutting craigslist down would even put a dent in (the problem) is really a false illusion." For them, Craigslist is just another tool to monitor the sex trade.

"Men will look at this and say, 'Sweet; I can get a woman delivered to me. But for some women it'll seem creepy. This way they'll only need to bring half a canister of mace."

How many hookups did the site manage? By January, a few months after launch, Yagan and Coyne claimed 50 a night wasn't unusual. The real boon was a surge in OKCupid users — doubled with the influx of CrazyBlindDaters. Of course, unlike the sex biz, all of this matchmaking is without a pricetag. Yagan sees the company as having more in common with Facebook than pay-per-play Match.com, especially when it comes to the price point. "Facebook is a great site, and they don't charge. So what is a lame site like Match.com doing charging?"

Have you been raped by Dave at The Erotic Review? From a Provider http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/rnr/632884435.html Looks like Dave of TER is getting what's coming to him TER is a disgrace. Someone really needs to shut them down for good.

Have you been raped by Dave at The Erotic Review?
Reply to: pers-632884435@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-06, 6:36PM PDT
Are you one of the women Dave Elms has coerced into unsafe sex to stay on his website? Did he ban you because you refused? Did you contract an STD from your rape? Are you interested in making sure that this doesn't happen to another woman?

If you are willing to tell your story to a private investigator who will guarantee your anonymity you can help stop this. Please send a brief description of your experience with him and you will be contacted. With a few women who are willing to go on record this man can be stopped - and you will be able to bring a civil suit and make him pay for what he has done.

Other accusations leveled at Elms are removing the positive reviews of providers who won't date him or his employees, which, the escorts claim, could damage their business and reputation. Is it really true that even in the sex business, to get a good performance review, woman are still asked to sleep with the CEO?

(Photo of Natalia, formerly of NY Confidential, via New York magazine)

Implying that buying and selling online porn should be taxed to offset the "harms" of porn, as Calderon says in his bill AB2914 thrusts Republicans into a nasty position when it comes to their constituents. How can cultural conservatives promise to not raise taxes and appease their smut-hating bases — especially when those same voters would never admit they don't want to eat a hefty tax for their monthly membership fee for NakedSword.com, too? (Photo: Madison Young, San Francisco-based porn star, writhes somewhere in-state for JulieSimone.com)

Slapping a preachy message on hookup sites warning users they could come home from their dates with more than a nasty hangover isn't a successful prevention strategy, Klausner explained to Valleywag: "Good public health is value-neutral. We don't blame and we don't judge, and we meet people where they're at." Most users already know sexually transmitted diseases are out there, but in order to actually practice safe sex, they need a solution that speaks to why they're on the site in the first place — to get laid without a lot of interference from outsiders, and preferably in three clicks or less.

So when San Francisco City Clinic patients began reporting more Craigslist casual connections, Klausner and his staff approached the site to address the increase in infections. Clinicians and Craigslist users now share a message board. "Users can post questions, and staff can post answers — users can post their own answers, as well, and make referrals to other sites. And over the years, new diagnoses of HIV and syphilis from Craiglist have gone down." What's worked in the case of Craigslist is to take advantage of the most sexually networked users already being there.

(Photo: HealthyPenis.org, SF Dept. of Public Health)

I went to Yahoo in 2005 and said you basically set up a crack house with advertising. I asked them to cooperate and they looked at this request coming from Nebraska and refused.

From the looks of the Nebraska State Patrol's program, no one's coughed up but the government. Maybe Bruning can hit up Microsoft for an annual grant to hang out in their new chatrooms pretending to be thirteen-year-old girls all day.

Unlike the typical Internet site, just about every function on Craigslist, if you're successful in your transaction, is going to involve you meeting the other person in person; whether it's for a job interview, or to look at an apartment, or to buy a used sofa or to go out on a date.

Hi Melissa,

We represent matchmaker Amy Andersen, founder of Palo Alto-based Linx Dating. Linx is an exclusive, by-invite-only, Bay area based dating service created for the 'marriage minded', targeting Silicon Valley men and San Francisco women. Founded in December 2003, Linx offers a unique dating service that combines old-world matchmaking with professional networking events and "concierge" services, including restaurant reservations, sedan bookings and flower delivery. Linx offers their clients complete 'image makeovers' from hair & make-up, to personal fitness training and strategic date coaching. Linx will take the Silicon Valley engineers from geek to chic, revamping wardrobes and grooming regimens to boost their confidence and their chances of impressing their dates.

The idea came to Amy in 2001, when she herself was dating a man who had friends who were single bachelors sporting Ivy League degrees and high-powered careers, but few romantic prospects. Some 30 miles away in San Francisco, Amy's girlfriends, who had similar Junior League pedigrees and Pilates-sculpted bodies, complained they couldn't meet any mates with marriage potential, thus came the idea to bridge the gap between the Silicon Valley man and the San Francisco woman, creating new possibilities that they might not have otherwise.

Andersen herself offers her best testimonial. She found happiness with a Silicon Valley geek of her own! They plan to marry in June!

On Thursday, May 1st, Linx will be hosting its first exclusive VIP event featuring two of their most eligible bachelors and inviting 25 women to meet them and have a mini-date.
I think an interview with Amy on her unique dating company, Linx, would make an interesting feature for Valleywag!

I look forward to hearing from you!

Best wishes,

Simin

Simin Adam

• Look for "outcall only." You have the room, so narrow your search on sites like Eros Guide and TER to girls who are willing to do "outcall," or meet you at your hotel. If you need a date to dinner or a party, sometimes "outcall" covers that, as well — look for girls who book multi-hour appointments, or who offer a rate for a "night on the town."
• Crosscheck her reviews. Best bets for quick turnaround are girls who have reviews posted for the last few months. They're more likely to be available and taking new clients.
• If it takes more than two emails and two phone calls, bail. One email to ask if she's available, a second to confirm, a phone call to reconfirm the day of, and a second to give her directions on getting to your room. More than that is a red flag that she's too busy. If so, keep looking. Here's a sample email intro you can cut and paste:

  Hi there, [LADY NAME], I'm in town for just a few days at the Web 2.0 Expo, staying near Moscone at [HOTEL]. I found your ad via [SITE] and saw you were available in San Francisco. I have an evening free on [DATE] and [DATE] and would be happy to meet you for a drink in the bar first if that's what you prefer. Best way to get back in touch with me is this email, which I check [FREQUENCY]. Really looking forward to it, [YOUR NAME]

• Ask to be a fill-in. If all else fails, and if you can be available to see her with an hour's notice or so, you can ask to be on her waitlist. When a client cancels, we love to know there's someone else ready for us. Let her know how much notice you need, and how to reach you quickly. This is when you hit the ATM, call ahead to room service for extra towels and a bottle of wine, and ignore all calls but hers for the next few hours.

(Photo: Katie, who says she is available 24/7 in San Francisco)

• Skip over spam. Spammers pushing phone sex, camgirls, and penis pills are among the earliest adopters of every new social network. If their "friends" are few, or have similarly sketchy biographies, the supposed "girl you can meet tonight!" is probably a scam, too. Most friends have at least some friends in common. If few of her friends have added her back, or if their profiles are mostly empty, move on.
• Sift through a pro's network Porn performers and fetish models still use MySpace for legal professional networking. So who else networks with — or at the very least, parties with — people who make a living getting naked? That's right: prostitutes. Not every hardcore actress can be had privately for the right price, but maybe someone in her Top 8 can.
• Check her references. No one but the rankest amateur relies solely on MySpace for clients. Run her name through a few escort review sites, like TER and Big Doggie, to cross-check. If you don't turn up any search results on those sites, there's always Craigslist.

(Photo: Tatum Reed, from her MySpace profile)

• Use a proxy server and delete your browser history. Your privacy is an illusion, especially at work. I don't recommend reviewing ads at your cubicle, period, but if you're not at risk of having the boss prairie-dogging over your divider, minimize the risk. Proxy software like Tor is a good idea, as is deleting your browser history and clearing your cookies. If your office computer is so locked down that you can't download the software you need, then save your ad-browsing and letter-writing for home.
• Ask her for a discreet email address. You could accumulate an inbox full of love notes with "sammie_slut_4_415." Messages asking for an appointment with "sf_masseuse" give you more deniability. If she doesn't have a non-whorish sounding address, ask your regular girl for a private email address she doesn't list online. The bonus: priority communication with her.
• Get another cell phone. Your text messages, call log, and phone bill are all revealing. Get a separate line — no, not on your family plan — and sign up for online-only billing. Better, just use a disposable pay-as-you go phone.
• Don't touch your credit card like that. You know you're going to impulsively end up buying a membership to a review board or sending her a gift or deposit. Do you know how these charges are listed in your bill? Even if you use PayPal, some variation on her name may show up after the "PAYPAL*". Drop some cash on a prepaid credit card like Green Dot to buy your hooker phone, your hotel rooms, her airfare, and any other incidentals before your critical thinking skills are inconvenienced by time and an erection.

(Photo: Victoria Jolie)

• 1. Ask for a special rate.At restaurants, do you haggle the menu prices when ordering? Valley guys in particular seem to feel that if they don't wrangle down the price of a date, they're not big men. Yeah, and how about you give your boss a discount on your salary? After all, his company isn't like the other companies — it's special.
• 2. Speak in acronyms.Talking in code won't fool the law enforcement officers you imagine are spying on you. It's just tacky. Rather than mumble that you're "very oral and looking for a BBBJ and some XPT without the GFE," read her reviews to see if it's what she's good at. That seems easier.
• 3. Expect to buy 3, get 1 free. The surest way to never get back in my appointment book is to try to get together "for fun" — i.e., for free. Like I told Married Apple Guy this week: Once a client, always a client. If you want to "hang out," try OkCupid .

(Photo from Mistress Ai-Li)

(Photo: femme)

Security through obscurity Going with an agency escort might seem more anonymous — like "ordering a pizza" said former Deputy Secretary of State and "AIDS czar" Randall Tobias of his agency hires. As with Amazon.com's One-Click ordering, that ease happens because the agencies keep your data on file. And once your name, phone number, and credit card details are in their records, you have no control over who gets access. An independent, by contrast, may ask for some of your personal identification to be sure you're safe — legal name, employer, permission to call you at work through the main desk. But it doesn't go into a computer.

Preferred treatment Agencies consider you their client, not hers, and don't encourage girls to get close. Independents are the opposite — concerned with building a steady business clientele for themselves. It's also why the most successful indie escorts advertise exclusively online, where their website, advertisements, and reviews are quick to find. It's in the interest of them to get to know your likes and dislikes, even if that takes a few more emails at the outset. Once you're in and established, you'll find yourself fit into their schedules on as short notice as an agency can.

Felony-free It's rare that an Internet-based girl working alone gets busted for prostitution. A misdemeanor solicitation charge is far less lucrative to law enforcement than nailing multiple agency managers for pimping and pandering, which can be pumped up into federal crimes by ambitious investigators and prosecutors. The biggest risk indies face are nosy neighbors, angry wives, and jealous boyfriends. No matter how cute they seem in their photos, if they're working alone, it's still very unlikely they're attractive enough to merit a wiretap.

(Photo: independent, San Francisco based Juliet)

• Show, don't tell At the door, Sex 2.0 attendees were required to mark their name badges with a color-coded sticker announcing whether they wanted to be photographed or filmed: red for "no," green for "yes," and yellow for "ask first." Why don't we do this all the time? Blogging about your sex partners without their knowledge is a recipe for disaster.
• If you're going to be a Twitter slut, might as well not make it metaphorical Sex 2.0 attendees couldn't resist Twittering mid-conversation — and mid-sex party and mid-fuck. Organizer Amber Rhea estimates that attendees made over a thousand Twitter updates over the weekend, including Ellie Lumpesse, a blogger and phone sex operator, who Twittered from the stage as she competed for the title of Best Boobs at a postconference swinger event.
• Own your online lack of reputation Anyone who gets sexual online runs the risk of being outed. We could obsess on controlling every facet of our online identity and activities, but what about a "more is more" approach? Internet whore and activist Kimberlee Cline, in a session on "Creating the sex commons," took up the example of forcibly retired escort Ashley Alexandra Dupré, whose last notable client was forcibly retired New York governor Eliot Spitzer. If only she had more than just MySpace and Facebook profiles online, when the media came to out her, a more fleshed-out version of her life would have been available for public dissection. Flooding the zone with accounts of your own desires and adventures (along with the unsexier rest of your life) may spare you future embarrassment, and could only give potential lovers the right idea about you.

(Photo: Dickroll)

Who does Schrager poll?

• 
  
• Men in airport lounges
  
• Men she works with
  
• The male commenter who triggered the piece in the first place
  

What makes a highly paid escort successful isn't mere ability to fake enjoyment on the job, but to convince the most boring hedge fund manager that he's James Bond — daring, sexy, and of a class above mere mortals. It's a luxury experience, one most women just can't deliver. You might as well ask why having Robin Williams keynote your conference costs so much.

Back to my original point: Why is it when journalists want to talk about hooking, they pass over the hookers themselves for a bunch of econ profs? It's not like there aren't any MBA or Ph.D. call girls out there that The Economist could have sourced. Seriously, Allison, how do you think they pay for those degrees?

(Photo: Mistress F)

• Don't "friend" her all at once. If you obsessively add her on every social network the morning after, it'll only make it harder to disentangle later. Think reciprocity: if she posts to Flickr every day and you only have one set of drunk self-portraits, that's not really an equal exchange. If she's the kind of girl who's all over Pownce, Twitter, and whatever else just launched this week, limit yourself to one network that makes sense and then let her decide if she wants to add you to another.
• Search, don't stalk. Be cautious Googling before the second date. You'll only seem creepy if you start to quote her blog posts postcoitum — even if you don't think her old Geocities site is that embarrassing. The point isn't to build an encyclopedic knowledge of her whole life. Search just enough so that when she does talk about her career, you'll have context and won't have to pretend you're more interested than you already aren't yet.
• Brag discreetly. Wanting to tell someone about what a great blowjob you got in the bathroom of House of Shields is natural. Just save the story for a few friends you trust, the ones who juggle dating and public life well, or do so with a minimum of bloggable dramatics. With luck they're skilled at being discreet; at worst, they have lovers on the line, too.