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satire
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satire
satire
If moose don't have to pay for sex, why are they on Adult MooseFinder?
"Ubiquitous, open-doored singles' site Adult Friendfinder promises 'hot sex tonight!' — but for whom, with whom?" asks Melissa Gira Grant. Well, not sure. But on Adult MooseFinder, the answer to both questions is moose. There's less of a squirm factor, too. For example, the women "who use AFF have pretty specifically kinky tastes," Grant notes, but the moose on AMF, the moose, they like a little action, but prefer twigs, roots, and bark. Full screenshot from Adult MooseFinder, below. More »
satire
Tom Cruise's new MacBook Air revealed!
Because you're nosy about it, here's graphical proof that on the Internet, Apple is a much bigger topic than anything else we post about. Yet the video of Gizmodo's cruel CES prank drew 10 times more clicks than our biggest MacBook Air post. Hollywood still crushes all. On Gawker, Nick Denton's mirror post of Tom Cruise's Scientology promo video is closing on 1.5 million views — comparable traffic to all of Valleywag so far this month. It struck me this morning that if I wanted to maximize my Gawker Media traffic bonus pay, I'd stop writing and instead follow Tom Cruise around with a camera. Oh wait, that's what the big pubs actually do. It all makes sense now.
satire
A tipster sent us this alternate version of the Apple teaser ad currently up on Apple.com. According to our tipster, Steve Jobs spent hours meditating to choose between "air" and "water" themes for Macworld. What could "There's something in the water" mean? We can only speculate, but our best guess is a waterproof ultrathin notebook called the MacBook Water. The MacBook Water was to be specifically designed for scuba divers and other water-sports enthusiasts. (Ahem.) Have any more information? Leave a comment.
Apple's alternate Macworld 2008 teaser ad leaked
A tipster sent us this alternate version of the Apple teaser ad currently up on Apple.com. According to our tipster, Steve Jobs spent hours meditating to choose between "air" and "water" themes for Macworld. What could "There's something in the water" mean? We can only speculate, but our best guess is a waterproof ultrathin notebook called the MacBook Water. The MacBook Water was to be specifically designed for scuba divers and other water-sports enthusiasts. (Ahem.) Have any more information? Leave a comment.
satire
More CES sanctions against Blakeley
Star Wonkette commenter FlakJack listed additional punishments the Consumer Electronics Show people should mete out to Gizmodo's TV-remote prankster. Edited version:- No protective sleeve for press room coffee cup.
- Photo credential only allows you to take pics of booth dudes, not babes.
- Shocks from a designer Taser anytime you roll your eyes at a vendor's use of jargon.
- Mandatory lunch with Scoble and Calacanis.
lawsuits
One Laptop Per Child sued in Nigerian court
Nicholas Negroponte's One Laptop Per Child project may be better named "No Laptop Per Child," at the rate it's going. Back in November, the Wall Street Journal essentially labeled the project a failure. Now, the group is being sued for $20 million by a Nigerian company for patent infringement. Let's hope OLPC doesn't get hit for the full amount. At almost $200 each, the judgment would be equal to more than 100,000 laptops — laptops that the OLPC can't give away, never mind sell. A copy of the lawsuit, obtained exclusively by Valleywag, is after the jump. More »
"Let's think about the future for a second. You probably don't understand the kids that make up the bulk of our audience, but I do. I call them the network MySpace remix 3.0 social generation. Unlike any other people before them, young people today like to interact with each other. They also like music. YouTube is the perfect example of whatever point it is I'm making. Everything should be online and customizable." [Five Short Video Game Industry Keynotes]
Peter Thiel is totally Objectivist, people
By now, you've likely read how Peter Thiel is gay. There'll be a crush of coverage on his sexual preference. But what no one ever says out loud: Thiel is an Objectivist.
By now, you've likely read how Peter Thiel is gay. There'll be a crush of coverage on his sexual preference. But what no one ever says out loud: Thiel is an Objectivist.
Facebook in 30 years
"Ted Stapleton is excited about his new cardigan" and Werther's advertises Murray Mints in this parody, "Pensionbook."
"Ted Stapleton is excited about his new cardigan" and Werther's advertises Murray Mints in this parody, "Pensionbook."
"Job is assisted by the industry's producing newer, more potent product(s)." [Drug dealers vs. Geeks]
satire
Bill Gates visits his therapist
Thank you for seeing me, doctor. Right here on the couch, turned away from you? I read that doctors do that to eliminate the burden of eye contact. Ha, or in case they don't like your face, good one. Actually I don't like my face much either. That's what I'm here about. More »
3:56 PM on Fri Dec 14 2007
By Nick Douglas
1,101 views,
1 comment
satire
Blog entries by One Laptop Per Child kids
Google and the OLPC project have teamed up to show stories of children who received the little green laptops. Since these stories come from the developing world, they've turned out a bit different than Gawker or your cousin's LiveJournal. Our first blog entry comes from Darfur. More »
5:00 PM on Mon Dec 10 2007
By Nick Douglas
1,659 views,
3 comments
satire
Oh pfeez! A new "game" is the perfect deconstruction of Web 2.0
"Pfeez : a worldwide game where people from all horizons enjoy taking photos of other people who are wearing the logo of the Pfeez community (photos taken without their knowledge)." When my editor sent me this pitch for Pfeez, his only comment was "Buh?" He must not have realized that this is the perfect crime: A reductio ad absurdum of contemporary social sites, and a profitable one at that. More »
web 2.0
How to be a jerk about Web 2.0
NICK DOUGLAS — "Oh my god Web 2.0? More like Bubble 2.0!" Okay, good start. But to really intimidate non-geeks and show how you're so over Web 2.0 (as proved by the five parody logos you uploaded on Flickr and auto-inserted into your blog), you need to break out these advanced tactics. More »
om malik
Remainders: Filthy-mouthed satirists
Surprise, surprise. Om Malik says that Google Calendar will follow the new company strategy: take something old, mock it up in Ajax, and shove it out the door. [GigaOM]Doucheball: the Dodgeball for people who suck. [Brother Lawrence on Flickr]
BlowTheDotOutYourAss (pictured): more dot-coms you don't want. [BTDOYA via supr.c.ilio.us]
Tip beg: Anyone have insider info on Yahoo suing wireless content startup MForma? The MGM of Silicon Valley accused the former Yahooers at MForma of stealing trade secrets. There a legitimate case here, or is Yahoo's new policy "If we can't keep 'em, sue 'em"? [CNET]
And a remaindered video: a UFO-like sighting of what definitely isn't Google's secret OS. [YouTube] More »
