Victim: NextNewNetworks cofounder Timothy Shea

Victim: Yahoo ad exec Mike Walrath

Victim: Union Square Ventures partner Fred Wilson

It all started innocently enough. Sugar Publishing's Rebecca Gruber was nice enough to put us on the guest list for the party, which was cosponsored by PopSugar and TechCrunch. After leaving our car with the valet we sauntered into the Vanguard, a well-known dance venue on Hollywood Boulevard, without a care in the world. The comely Bonny Pierzina accompanied your correspondent as a photographer. After running into some friends near the door, we procured sodas and set out to mingle. We stopped to admire Perry Farrell mixing hip-hop hits from the Wu Tang Clan and the Beastie Boys.

I figured I'd introduce myself to Arrington and thank him for throwing the party. That was a mistake. I shook his hand, and before I could finish saying "Hi, I'm Jackson West, the new guy at Valleywag," he huffed, rolled his eyes and walked away. Laughing it off, I suggested to Bonny she roam the crowd and get some pictures of the party goers while I circled through the rest of the venue.

But it wasn't over with Arrington. He wrangled event security, tracked down Pierzina, and told the bouncers that she wasn't supposed to be there. She was then escorted off the premises, but not before being asked where I was — presumably to be disappeared from the party as well. The hero of the night was social networking entrepreneur Nick Dynice, who suggested politely to Arrington that it was rude and tasteless to turn Pierzina out.

After a flurry of text messages, I snuck out to check on Pierzina, and found some guerilla marketers from Vimby also being asked to leave. Back inside, tasteless 1938 Media videoblogger Loren Feldman traded barbs over Valleywag's traffic (and how little of it went his way). Recent Bay Area transplant Marjorie Kase, CEO of Blogger Reps, lamented the travails of her former employer MeeVee.

The rumor started going around that Cashmore had also been ejected, which turned out to be quite true. One Hollywood agent complained that the "douchebag level" was high, even for him. Once we caught wind of the planned afterparty at the Roosevelt Hotel, we tracked down Arrington one last time to thank him for the free drinks, getting blown off again once recognized.

So there we were at the Roosevelt, enjoying some fine hamburgers at 25 Degrees and dishing with Mahalo's Sean Percival when who should sit down at a booth but Arrington. The Valleywag team thought maybe we'd buy him and his entourage a round of drinks. After explaining the situation to our sympathetic server Leah, she suggested that maybe a milkshake would be more appropriate to the evident maturity level, and we agreed.

So with a signal agreed on and the camera ready, we walked by just as the milkshake was delivered. Hope you enjoyed it, Michael — we hear they're delicious, especially the strawberry.

(Photos by Bonny Pierzina)

Other songs being voted on include "Brown Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison and the theme from Friends. During the time I've been writing this post, the prank has gotten more than 1,000 Diggs. I suspect this just might work — and end up in the New York Times, to boot.

1. Cut a hole in a box. No, no, kidding. Step one is to buy a week's worth of TV ads on Spotrunner. The site sells ads for markets all over the U.S. for cheap. For example, $539 gets me 196 spots over two weeks in the Ozarks. That includes ads on CNN, ESPN, and other networks, sometimes during prime time. Buy some spots in your hometown, film your own negative ad (edit it online with Jumpcut), and upload it. Now you're good to go with your own local attack ads. "Joe Schmoe is a moron. I'm Jane Doe and I approve of this message."

2. While you can accomplish plenty in that TV spot, make sure you include a URL for your (anonymous) YouTube account. That's where you go viral with a daily updated video of your enemy. Shoot "coverage" of your target from afar with 20x zoom (digital zoom is fine, it's all going to look like crap on YouTube anyway). Then shoot a monologue with your webcam or iSight. Remember those "useless" video tricks that came with your webcam, like sunglasses and hats? Just disguise your face with those and you can play your own enemy. "Joe Schmoe is a moron. I'm Joe Schmoe and I approve of this message."

3. Fake an ad on Craigslist. Thank the gods for anonymous re-directs! Post a salacious ad on Craigslist and ask respondents to give their phone numbers. Use a disposable e-mail service like Mailinator if you need to coax anyone to give up their digits. "M4MW: Joe Schmoe seeks Joan Roe and John Doe."

4. Prank call #1: Calling the Craigslist mistress. Or mister. You can hide your caller ID with ShadowNumber, a "discreet" service meant for clandestine love affairs. They'll keep your secret. Call up the Craigslist liaison, and feel free to use your enemy's phone number. "Hey, wanna Joe my Schmoe?"

5. Prank call #2: A sex addict's cry for help. Now go in for the kill. Your enemy is already getting maligned on TV and on the Internet. Lonely Craigslisters are ringing them up. For a final blow, use Google's click-to-call to call up the local Sexaholics Anonymous (or other embarrassing organization of choice). Like ShadowNumber, Google lets you enter any caller ID you want. Stage a dramatic plea from a man gone insane. Then vlog about it on YouTube. For a bonus, videoconference into the SA meeting. "I'm Joe, and I'm a sexaholic." "Hi Joe!"

The above is satire. We don't recommend you actually go and DO any of it, especially in any way that's illegal. If you did, it'd end up on Digg or Boing Boing, you'd get caught, and a million geeks would buy TV spots mocking YOU.