Valleywag: persai

LinkedIn cofounder Reid Hoffman needs Ted Dziuba's guide to weight loss

Nicholas Carlson — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 14:20:00 PDT

In today's Los Angeles Times, reporter Jessica Guynn calls LinkedIn founder, Facebook investor and PayPal veteran Reid Hoffman "Silicon Valley's biggest social networker." Guynn means that just the way you'd think, reporting that Hoffman gains about 10 pounds per year, refuses to see a trainer and "doesn't step on scales." Some might deem Guynn's language rude, but since Hoffman's unhealthy-seeming weight is exactly the kind of thing everyone in the Valley won't admit they talk about, we're rather glad she called attention to it. Fortunately for Hoffman, Persai cofounder Ted Dziuba is ready with an intervention. Lately, Dziuba's been writing servicey items about coder life on TedDziuba.com instead of eviscerating TechCrunch-covered startups on Uncov. A recent post is perfect for the rotund Hoffman. But at 725 words, "An engineer's guide to weight loss," the busy Hoffman will never take the time to read it. Below, a slimmer, 100-word version Hoffman can squeeze into his schedule.

Dieting and exercising suck. You are not going to have fun. The science is simple: eat fewer calories than your burn. Start quantifying. I use FitDay to track calories. Run a 1,000 calorie per day deficit. Go easy on the drinking. Take up smoking — a zero-calorie alternative. Eat one serving. Drink more coffee, an appetite suppressant. Low-fat ice cream has around 120 calories per half cup. After two weeks, your stomach will shrink. Step two is exercise. It's awful. Use an elliptical machine. Treadmills make you run. One hour per day, hard. You should be close to vomiting. Easy, huh?

(Photo by mandj98)

Leah Culver gives Kyle Shank the cupcake treatment

Owen Thomas — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 18:10:07 PDT

Former Uncov guy and Persai CEO Kyle Shank, at center, recovers from an unsolicited cupcake smearing by Pownce's Leah Culver. The attack, likely motivated by Uncov accomplice Ted Dziuba's frequent gibes directed at Culver, took place at Flickr's fourth birthday party. Flickr's Cal Henderson, right, is said to have served as Culver's accomplice. Speaking of, can anyone confirm whether Henderson and Culver are dating? The two were inseparable at SXSW. If so, snaps to Culver: We hear Henderson's website is highly scalable. (Photo by magerleagues)

Don't FAIL to meet Ted Dziuba at Moose's

Dianne de Guzman — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 11:00:00 PST

What better way to celebrate a week of turning down TechCrunch job offers and reducing its writers to obscene Twitters than drinking at Moose's? Persai's Ted Dziuba is our guest of honor for tonight's Valleywag Friday. Read on for the rest of the calendar:

GDC 2008 is wrapping with Video Games Live, where your favorite videogame soundtracks will be performed by a live orchestra. Weekend Apps is happening in Santa Clara starting at 6 p.m. and continuing through Sunday, where developers will sit around and try to make as many Facebook apps as they can in one weekend. (Let's just hope they're not as annoying as those pesky vampires) Tomorrow night, io9 is co-sponsoring the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund at 111 Minna.

Got something to add to the calendar? Send it to calendar@valleywag.com.

Persai hands-on test returns 1

Paul Boutin — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 14:20:49 PST

Have you declared RSS bankruptcy because you can't keep up with your feeds? I spent a week hammering on Persai's private beta for Slate. Despite the product's ties to smartass startup-review site Uncov, I couldn't honestly insert a "fail" joke into my writeup. The aspect that will most divide users: You don't subscribe to individual feeds or sites with Persai. You create an "interest" and get articles and posts that match, sort of like searching Google News. Except Persai also lets you click a button that says, "I hate this. Don't ever show me anything like it again." Finally, a filter for Obama fever.

Uncov kids snub the big bloggers

Paul Boutin — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 05:16:15 PST

Robert Scoble and TechCrunch are among the big names not invited to test-drive news-filtering service Persai, which launched this week as a private beta. If you read Valleywag obsessively, you may know Persai is the full-time project of the mean, mean kids behind Web 2.0 smackdown site Uncov. Did they leave Arrington and Scoble out as a PR strategy, I asked? Was the idea to build a groundswell of online coverage before appearing on TechCrunch? Were they seeking more technical reviewers? "No," CEO Kyle Shank replied. "It was just spite."

Persai, the startup from the same guys who ...

Owen Thomas — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:45:56 PST

Persai, the startup from the same guys who launched snarky tech blog Uncov, has launched an invitation-only beta. Recent screenshots don't show much change from the ones we saw last December: Google News, with a bit more orange. Fail? [Epicenter]

Screenshots from Persai, Uncov guys' startup

Megan McCarthy — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:15:18 PST

The guys behind startup-trashing site Uncov have been working on their own company for the last few months now. It's called Persai, and it's some sort of machine-learning recommendation thingy — I don't know, I tune out whenever they start talking about it, and only pay attention again once they start repeating 4chan catchphrases. Anyway, a beta tester (where's my invite, Kyle?) leaked us a screenshot of the product in action. See it below, and feel free to mock.

So basically a weak rehash of Google News and Blog Search,? Good job, guys!

The Uncov guys' startup, uncovered

Owen Thomas — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 14:33:06 PDT

Busted! Kyle Shank of Uncov, Valleywag's favorite startup-snark site, acted so coy when I asked him what he and coconspirators Ted Dziuba and Matt Kent were working on. But it turns out they've been hiding in plain sight all this time, as commenter bushido pointed out.. Shank's day job is CEO and founder of Persai, a recommendations system for the Internet, whatever that means. It sounds like exactly the kind of vague yet overweening ambition Uncov would mock, actually.