I was born and raised in Alabama. Went to school there. I know these people, I have lived among them, I am one of them, and let me tell you something...they're assholes.

However, Alabama is notorious for having the kind of civil litigation environment that makes tort reform advocates scream about "jackpot justice." So she probably thinks she can make this thing pay out like a Biloxi slot machine, and given the right sort of jurors, she probably can. Until the massive award gets knocked down to nubbins on appeal.

Please, somebody from Mississippi - do something stupid in public, quick!

I opened myself to my iPhone 3G epiphany during a seven-hour road trip (it should have been five, but that's another story) to AMD's headquarters in Austin, Texas. I spent that trip with a BlackBerry 8800 and an iPhone 3G resting on my passenger seat, playing "anything you can do, I can do better" with each other the whole way. It was a delight. I was not a paragon of highway safety that night, but I learned more from that trip than I did from a solid week of lab testing. During the trip, the handsets' attention, and mine, were divided primarily among email, browser (news.yahoo.com and phone bandwidth tests on dslreports.com), and real-time navigation.

Specifically, the "3G" part of "iPhone 3G." Patrizio writes that "on disabling 3G, service improved immediately. There were no more dropped calls. Audio quality was fine. Battery life was much better." An analyst tells Patrizio a chip inside the phone is the problem: "We believe that these issues are typical of an immature chipset and radio protocol stack where we are almost certain Infineon is the 3G supplier." Patrizio's three other problems with the iPhone:

• Steve Jobs's kill switch:
  

  Jobs confirmed if you install applications unapproved by Apple, the app will be removed as soon as you plug it in to synch and recharge. What would happen if Microsoft did this?

• Cracking cases. After The Unofficial Apple Weblog reported "Cracks 'appearing' in new iPhone 3Gs," they updated their story to write:
  

  Commenters are literally pouring in to tell us that as careful as they've been with their iPhone 3Gs, even the most babied devices are showing cracks.

• App developers are angry over NDAs. Developers building apps for the iPhone have a hard time helping each other out because Apple forces them to sign strict non-disclosure agreements. The response? FuckingNDA.com.

At the Soho Apple Store on Sunday, they turned away at least two hundred people who had been waiting in line because they had TWO phones in stock before the store opened. But this showed up as "in stock" on the website.

And yes, I am sending this on my first generation iPhone.

Sorry, I wish I had [taken photos], especially of the starbucks toting d-bag of a store manager pecking away at a Blackberry.

(Photo by ycr)

From a would-be iPhone 3G buyer in San Francisco:

Date: Jul 18, 2008 9:00 PM
Subject: apple store can kiss my ass

so i go to the chestnut street apple store at 10am this morning and they tell me they are sold out of 3g iphones after i checked their website last night. i'm like, how did you sell out at 10:01 am? and they said, we've been open for an hour! eh? their phone and website clearly details they open at 10am. wtf is going on? i felt like slaughtering them.

(Photo by Alex Choi)

A tipster snapped this late-night shot of Apple's Union Square store being overhauled. You — yes, you waiting in line with your old iPhone — send us photos of the results when the store opens at 10, willya? Separately, we've been told that Apple Store employees at the San Francisco flagship cut off would-be buyers who arrived after 5:30 p.m. Shoppers timed the morning line at 2.5 hours yesterday. That's even more time than I spend watching my BlackBerry reboot.

• At least 1 million iPhones sold over the first weekend (Apple)
• Cost to Apple: $174.33 parts plus $50 royalties for 8GB model; $16 more for 16GB model (iSuppli)
• Cost to consumers: $199 (8GB), $299 (16GB) (Apple)
• Cost to carriers: conservatively, $499 (8GB), $599 (16GB) (iSuppli)
• Profit per phone: $274.67 (8GB) and $358.67 (16GB)
• Models sold: 33% (8GB), 66% (16GB) (Piper Jaffray survey)

If the main reason you have a BlackBerry is to check your email across multiple accounts (let’s say work & personal), don’t even think about switching. You will be disappointed.

The iPhone is clearly a 2-handed device. I got pretty good at getting around my BlackBerry with one hand…don’t see that happening any time soon on the iPhone.

Long time BlackBerry users know you can also hold down on a letter to capitalize it and configure multiple dictionaries and shortcuts (so if you type a word or phrase often you can enter it into the dictionary to autocomplete). Someone please come up with a way to port TextExpander to the iPhone and you can name your price.

The BlackBerry will always have better battery management simply because said battery can be removed. Afraid of losing juice? Just carry an extra battery.

(Photos by Jordan Golson)

I can't get over the sheer insanity of people when it comes to the new iPhone. There were people lined up outside the AT&T store last night. Today, the lineup in front of the Walnut Creek Apple Store is a block and a half long. Come on people, have you nothing better to do that stand in line for an cell phone? It's not like Apple is only going to make 500 of them and you want to get your very own framed limited edition. That aside, the most insane thing is Apple. I had to go pick up a headset for the newly added handsfree law in Cali and the Apple store was nearby. I went to the head of the line assuming they are servicing the insane separately only to be told that the store is CLOSED for all non-iPhone purchases! I could not believe my ears. I could have needed my laptop fixed under ProCare for all they knew or could have been going to buy 3 new laptops for the office. I am sure some bean counter at Apple determined they could technically move more $s if they moved more iPhones today but clearly didn't think that there might be sane and loyal customers that might not want to stand inline for a cell phone.

I hear this and it sounds familiar; A group of vegan activists began waiting in line a few days ago as a demonstration. The cute girl goes on: "Anyway, they all own Apple stock and he taught English in Japan for four years. He's a nut, but I like nuts." The guy: "You could do much better." People who wait hours in line for a phone: Odd. People who wait days in line for a phone, hitting on a cute Apple Store employee the whole time, eventually asking her out and getting a date for next Tuesday: Not so odd. Actually: kind of heroic.

Update: We have names and video. She's Teresa Wlasiuk and he's Daniel Bowman Simon. Here's how it went down (doesn't her giggle give it all away?):

End of the line barely past H&M just before the doors opened and they might have to wait longer for an activation than it takes to get in the store.

Ironic justice is a rich, white man sleeping in a tent in Downtown San Francisco.

Robert Scoble: "Are you going to high-five on the way out of the store? That's how I got on the cover of the San Jose Mercury News."

Nothing to see here, please move along.

The creepy clapping thing begins amongst the Apple Store drones.

The first batch of lemmings enter the store, with no shouts of "Woo, GPS! And 3G! Or whatever! I'm a rock star!" More photos of the line from the Flickr-spotters at SFist.

No wonder AT&T is taking so many steps to make life difficult for people who try to buy an iPhone without a contract. Some bloggers are fussing about the fact that AT&T will no longer offer a prepaid plan for those with poor credit. What about those solvent enough to deserve an iPhone 3G? After AT&T and Apple get done with them, I wonder what their credit rating will look like.

The thrust of the article: Partners are developing applications for Apple's iPhone, and venture capitalists are investing in startups which might capitalize on the device.

Cisco — which settled a trademark dispute with Apple over the iPhone name with an agreement for joint development — is, to no one's surprise but Forbes's, working on software to transfer files from an iPhone to a PC. As is Intel, a supplier to Apple. Electronic Arts and Sega, which make games, are making games for the iPhone. Kleiner Perkins, where partner Al Gore is also an Apple board member, is investing $100 million in iPhone startups.

But Forbes is no dummy. Apple is soon expected to announce an iPhone compatible with AT&T's 3G wireless network, which operates at higher speeds than the wireless technology the iPhone currently uses. If a friendly article wins Forbes favor from Apple, might it land an early look at the next iPhone? Unlikely, but it's worth a wave of the wand. Even one that leaves Forbes with egg on its face.