I work for a fairly large ad network that competes with Google Adsense. A couple of days ago, a new employee was sportin' a Google shirt and I was a little upset. What's the protocol on this? People have brought in embroidered bags from the likes of eBay and Yahoo, which is understandable because the logos are smaller and bags have more utility than a t-shirt. We also have our own company shirts available. So what are the rules? Can you represent your previous companies and what if your previous company is a competitor?

The first rule is, wear something nicer than a t-shirt. A pressed, button-front shirt or blouse, for instance. Haven't had time to do laundry? Light sweaters over a wrinkled shirt have saved many a morning. In fact, keeping a light sweater at the office (along with a full change of clothes tucked in a drawer) can save many, many embarrassments, from inappropriate logos to coffee stains are a romp in the janitor's closet.

If you have to wear a t-shirt, be a team player. If you're going to wear a shirt from a previous employer, make sure it's not a direct competitor or a company with better pay and benefits — with turnover what it is in the Valley means managers are constantly on the lookout for disloyalty. Though if you actually have a job offer from the competition, feel free to play it up for a raise.

Other acceptable options would be companies that have tanked, startups you know are hot but your boss hasn't heard of (as long as they aren't challenging your business), something from Threadless, an independent local artist or designer or a concert souvenir from either a new and hot or ironically old band. That is, if it were acceptable to wear a t-shirt to work.

*then put on another shirt please

There's hope for you yet. The spectrum goes from red to violet, people. Follow the rainbow! Just think, wearing a different hue will separate you from any party's hoi polloi and give women who want to meet you a better description than "blue shirt and glasses" when they post their missed connection note on Craigslist.

So, how do you break the blue-shirt mold? Start with preppy staples Banana Republic and J. Crew. Sage? Chocolate brown? Maybe even a pale lavender? If you wear it with confidence, you can make just about any color work. And once you stand out enough to get remembered even by ADD-riddled venture capitalists, and land a round of funding, maybe you can upgrade to Thomas Pink.

(Photo credit: Kynance)

If you're happy to spend the rest of your life in Engineering, hit the Back button now. But to get ahead you need to dress up, which in the Valley means dressing down just the right way. Avoid these five career-limiting moves:

1. Dyed hair. Valley gals get to color. You don't. It'll show, and everyone will know. If you're going gray, skip the Grecian Formula and wear your salt-and-pepper with pride. "Wow, do you know what that is?" an old friend I ran into recently asked, pointing excitedly to the first touch of gray in my sideburns. "It's an extra hundred an hour in consulting fees!"

2. Wrong shirt. Which is to say, almost any shirt. Stick to polos and oxfords. Avoid colors not found in natural cubicle walls. Brights and blacks — both equally wrong. T-shirts aren't enough, cuff links are too much. When in doubt, stay within the first ten pages of the L.L. Bean catalog.

3. Faded pants. A worn seat is the classic old boy's blind spot. Same for frayed hems above your heels. Back East, this slightly-used look is the secret handshake of old money. Out here, it says you haven't recovered from the dot-com crash. Mix New England thrift with L.A. mall values: Buy the exact same shirts and pants from Banana Republic every six months.

4. Cool shoes. Those red ones? The not-bright-red but more of a zinfandel red pair of leather lace-ups you secretly love? Leave 'em home on board meeting days. You might as well show up in sandals, shorts and a skateboard. Check out Tesla Motors founder Martin Eberhard, right. He's got the greylocks, the oatmeal polo, the off-white slacks, and plain brown shoes to keep it down to earth. Eberhard gets Valley fashion: Your clothes should shut up and let the car do the talking.

5. Body odor. What is that smell? You shower twice a day, but you don't wash your clothes often enough. You don't notice, because your apartment and your car stink the exact same way. No mom, wife or girlfriend to clean up after you? No time to do your own laundry? Outsource it, Einstein. Google Maps pinpoints dozens of pro laundries near you. Most will wash and fold your clothes for a by-the-pound price that's cheaper than spending your own time. Many will pick up and deliver — and deliver your coworkers from you.

And then there was Mark Zuckerberg, the 22-year-old chief executive of the social networking site Facebook, wearing Adidas flip-flops — sans socks — with a blazer and jeans.

Now everyone's rocked the jacket and jeans, even at a formal event. But the flip-flops? Gross. Gross. Gross. Mark, get some shoes — bitch.

The Dress Code Is Relaxed, but the Courting Is Intense [NY Times]

Yesterday I went to lunch at a country club over on Sand Hill Road. They wouldn't let me in because I was wearing jeans. "Excuse me?" I said in my head.

They are totally gonna get a call from his agent.

The suits vs. the geeks [Scobleizer]
Photo by Dave McClure [Flickr]

So Yahoo Hack Day '06 was held this weekend and I'm looking at the TechCrunch post about the winning team and the Asian girl looked super familar! Turns out she's a Project Runway season 2 reject.

She was the annoying Asian young nerdy designer that got really drunk on one episode and turned red.

All-women team takes Yahoo Hack Day prize [TechCrunch]

— Gottfried the Intern

Well, what illustrates Ubuntu? A hug? An image of many hands supporting one person? How about this?

Yep, it's a thong emblazoned with the logo of Ubuntu, a form of the open-source Linux operating system, added to some Cafepress store as an afterthought. Chances are no one ever bought this made-to-order thong, so it technically doesn't exist, but now it's in the BBC News. Fantastic.

All you need is ubuntu [BBC News]

It's a great column, but there's nothing technological about online shopping now that eBay and Amazon are household words and over two thirds of consumers visit an e-commerce site during any given week.

Maybe it's an awkward play at getting more women to read this section ("Women like fashion, right? Add some fashion!"), or maybe the nuances of the sweater/jacket dichotomy really strike the editors as a technological dilemma. But adding some online storefront links to a fashion article does not make it a tech article.

A Jacket's Not a Jacket When It's a Sweater, See? [NY Times Technology Section]

• Now that you've seen cover boy Kevin Rose, check out the whole gallery of sexy young startuppers, including Yelp.com founders Russell and Jeremy, seen here about to sic their dog on some college co-eds. [BusinessWeek]
• Netscape names its first 10 paid users, the "Netscape Navigators." Kerchiefs and merit badges will be passed out at the clubhouse. [Calacanis.com]
• One of the top Netscape users not hired is a little bitter about the above. [Backstabbed by Netscape]
• San Fran videoblogger Josh Wolf was jailed this weekend for not handing his protest footage to the cops. More on this tomorrow. [SFist]
• Next time an Apple fanboy gets all macho in your face, show him these shirts. [IBloggedThis]

When a nondescript Toyota pulled up — with a young man in a gray T-shirt, khakis, rubber Crocs and backpack, and a denim-dressed woman who appeared to be his girlfriend — event planners were a bit perplexed.

That is, until someone called out the name "Serge'' — and the man turned around, giving away his identity as none other than Google's megamillionaire co-founder Sergey Brin.

Earlier: I'm. Too sexy for my tie. So sexy I could die.
Governor's Republican forgiveness finds some room on the bench [SF Chronicle]

I and a few other Silicon Valley leaders were honored to host the first visit ever for a British Prime Minister to Silicon Valley. And he fit right in (wardrobe aside, but he's a world leader after all, and asking him to dress down for Silicon Valley would be like asking Steve Jobs to skip blue jeans and a black shirt - morally objectionable to someone).

So Schwartz was wearing a T-shirt with a slogan, right? Or a polo shirt, maybe, with Dockers?

Hey wait, what? He was as dolled-up as Blair! The most Jon Schwartz can say is that he occasionally doesn't wear a tie.

Schwartz, babe, call us when Jobs sends you some jeans.

Lunch with Prime Minister Tony Blair... [Jonathan Schwartz's blog]
Photo: Sun Microsystems [Reuters]

Yahoo! CEO Terry Semel: Jeans and a T-shirt. "I did so much of that when I was at Warner Bros., now I'm leaving tonight to go to San Diego for a Monday Yahoo! conference."

You're years past Hollywood, Terry! Call up your pal Steven Soderbergh and tell him so.

(Photo note: Terry may wear tees, but never on camera.)

Oscar Watch: Tux You! [HuffPo]