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lawsuits
elliot schrage
Facebook can have him
Commenter Facebookcanhavehim shares this thought on Google überflack Elliot Schrage's prospective departure for Facebook:It has nothing to do with Eric's philandering. It has everything to do with the fact that Elliot sucks and is being run out of the company. No idea he has held on so long considering how ineffective he has been. From the inside I can affirm his team hates him. The other executives see him as impotent, reckless, and self-promoting.
comments
Commenter of the week: broozier
Netscape and Ning founder Marc Andreessen's newfound pessimism drew this response from broozier:Marc has also become, somehow, the anti-founder in the process. The 'nuclear winter' comment that's been circulating extensively among my group of friends was the final straw:
I'm not listening to you anymore, Marc Andreesen. You've become the "old man" of the technology business, and taking a crap on everyone's aspirations suggests you've lost both your ethical compass and your optimism. In short, it's not winning you any more fans.
Valleywag emeritus offers unsolicited advice for Michael Arrington
Newly softhearted Gawker Media head Nick Denton offers some kindly advice for TechCrunch editor Michael Arrington: "@Michael Arrington: Hey, everybody has been expecting the grand roll-up ever since you hired Heather. I don't see it happening. Certainly don't see it sticking. And, without a roll-up, you have a niche Valley site with some 3% of the traffic of Gawker or Weblogs Inc. Good luck with that when the tech bubble bursts!"
Newly softhearted Gawker Media head Nick Denton offers some kindly advice for TechCrunch editor Michael Arrington: "@Michael Arrington: Hey, everybody has been expecting the grand roll-up ever since you hired Heather. I don't see it happening. Certainly don't see it sticking. And, without a roll-up, you have a niche Valley site with some 3% of the traffic of Gawker or Weblogs Inc. Good luck with that when the tech bubble bursts!"
comments
Commenter of the week: Rachel Marsden
"Could someone please go up and punch Al [Gore] in the face? Then, when he calls the cops, ask him why he didn't try the UN first." — TV pundit Rachel Marsden, Valleywag's newest bestest friend fatale, splashes cold, conservative Canadian water in the faces of our NPR-numbed Bay Area readership [Valleywag Comments]
acquisitions
One commenter's prophesy for Microsoft: Uri Geller, John R. Coza and a secret task force
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer and chairman Bill Gates have it all wrong trying to take on Google by buying Yahoo. What they really need is "an underground secret team" that works in "a new office building in Cologne" and includes " John R. Coza." Also, they need to hire "as a sort of mascot / good luck guy" bigdowro, the commenter who had this prophesy and kindly shared it with the rest of us in 443 words. It's my favorite bizzaro dreamscape since Coleridge's Kubla Khan and its pasted below. More »
acquisitions
Microsoft-Yahoo summit at Sunnyvale fizzles
Microsoft and Yahoo execs met this week in Sunnyvale, but the talks didn't go anywhere. The sticking point: Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer's troops refused to consider raising their cash-and-stock bid and so Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang's representatives likewise refused to initiate "formal negotiations," the WSJ reports. Meanwhile, commenters confirm that while its new brand advertising platform flounders, Yahoo "is indeed a mess inside. Yahoo is full of pissing matches at the VP level." Please, tell us more.
commenter of the day
Yahoo finally wins one, beats Google's DoubleClick severance package
Commenter and steadfast Yahoo apologist MarktheMarketWatcher zings Google's skimpy severance package for laid-off DoubleClickers:Yahoo! has promised, at a minimum, a 4 month severance package to anyone who might be terminated in the event of a Microsoft takeover. So whose not evil, anyway?Yes, congratulations, Yahoo. Your search revenues — no, your growth rate — no, your severance package outshines Google's. Of course, as my colleague Jordan Golson notes, "I bet if Google could give severance packages with Microsoft's money they'd be a lot more generous too." For inadvertent hilarity, MarktheMarketWatcher wins commenter of the day.
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Commenter of the day: innonate
"You're a dick, Owen. And you run fake stories every day anyway." — Double-crossed April Fools entrepreneur Nate Westheimer demonstrates his Valley CEO potential. And let this be a reminder: People say Valleywag will stab you in the back. That's a lie. Valleywag will stab you in the face.
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This made me LOL for real: In this post about the memo CNET CEO Neil Ashe sent out regarding CNETs recent layoffs, commenter random_play penned a beauty:
Commenter of the week: random_play
This made me LOL for real: In this post about the memo CNET CEO Neil Ashe sent out regarding CNETs recent layoffs, commenter random_play penned a beauty: The memo is as transparent as it is salient. Simply, Neil Ashe states that CNET needs to embrace change by exploiting their first-mover advantage to drive efficiencies by conceptualizing and architecting brand-centric, seamless, end-to-end, best-of-breed solutions for forward-leaning virtual communities.But wait, we're just getting started: More »
layoffs
Maybe a CNET pink slip will raise that infant
"That's life," commenter danmiller3 wrote after we told you about how CNET laid off an employee recovering from cancer. Turns out he was more right than he knew. A new CNET tipster tells that one of his laid-off colleagues lost his job just two months after his wife gave birth. "Fuck Neil Ashe," our source says. He says CNET employees are "all half hoping" private equity firm Jana Partners — which already has a 14.9 percent stake in the company — "takes over and fixes the platform and other underlying legacy issues from when CNET was a cable syndicator instead of trying to create tons of new fledgling brands."
valleyspeak
Why don't you just read Valleywag? That seems easier
Commenter Matthew O'Ryan is on to us. He's noticed how a throwaway line has become our new catchphrase: "That seems easier." In an industry full of people who claim to be obsessed with efficiency, why do we have to keep explaining over and over the simple way to do things? Because Valley denizens secretly love doing things the hard way — and they hate it when people point out we're doing it wrong. Neophilia, cast as a love of innovation, is actually an algorithm for generating ever-changing shibboleths that keep outsiders away. They make things complicated because it entertains them; because they love challenges and puzzles; because they can. But the world that pays their bills? Customers like things simple. Why not keep them happy? Ah, but you know how that would seem.
10:20 AM on Fri Mar 28 2008
By Owen Thomas
464 views,
7 comments
Latest by robinwauters: Ha, but at least I got around to registering thatseemseasier.com ! You can have it for as little as $ 300 000. Actually, strike that: I'll settle for € 300 000 ;) I promise to pay myself a $ 1 dollar only more »
geek love
Porn millionaire Andrew Conru reportedly engaged to church lady
Whatever happened to Andrew Conru, the porn baron of Palo Alto? After selling Various Inc., the parent company of X-rated singles site Adult FriendFinder, to Penthouse for $500 million in December, he's getting his personal life in order, commenter rumourone informs us. He's reportedly still working at Various, but planning his departure. (Will Penthouse disclose this fact when it files to go public, largely on the strength of Conru's Web businesses?) Also, he's engaged to a "devout Lutheran" named Lois. Ironic, given his porn profiteering? Hardly. Conru also launched — and sold along with FriendFinder — a religious social network, BigChurch.com, where he supposedly met Lois. Update: Conru has written in to deny the Lois story. The full Conru tale from rumourone follows: More »
great moments in journalism
Wired writer flacks for Google
Wired.com editor Leander Kahney writes up received Google fictions peddled by the search engine's PR division as fact in this month's Wired magazine. Google's employee perks are a common topic in the press, but our readers tell us the reality is far from the earthly paradise Google sells to gullible journalists. Leander makes working at Google seem like heaven:And today, if Google hasn't made itself a Greenleaf-esque slave to its employees, it's at least a cruise director:More »
bad ideas
Mashable introduces video commenting, terrifying new reality
Embedding videos into Valleywag comments is as easy as dragging and dropping a YouTube URL into the comments field. One advantage this method holds over Mashable's video comments: Embedding a YouTube video of yourself takes at least one extra step. Trust us: No one wants to hear you talk. Especially me. I get paid by the pageview.
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Here's commenter Wabewalker responding to another commenter's assertion that Yahoo is "trying to fail":
Yahoo doesn't "have any clue what success is"
Here's commenter Wabewalker responding to another commenter's assertion that Yahoo is "trying to fail": Less "trying to fail" and more "not having any clue what success is." Projects start out as "cool," but rarely reach the monetization phase without being decorated like a cheap whore with a TJ Maxx spending account, repulsing all but the color blind or mentally ill.He continues: More »
comments
Former Google employee Hans Cardinal shared his view on 20 percent time and the working environment he experienced inside Google.
Ex-Googler vents: "Google recruiters are out of touch"
Former Google employee Hans Cardinal shared his view on 20 percent time and the working environment he experienced inside Google.Google recruiters are out of touch. This 20% project concept is a thing of the past yet they still promote it as if it exists. Recent survey (Googlegeist) shows that most people don't even have a 5% project since they're working overtime on their primary project. Nothing really innovative has come from within in the past few years. Most of the stuff is just maintenance.He continues: More »
cubicle culture
Commenter jordanly has harsh words about Google's hiring practices:
Googler's complaint: Recruiters should lie more artfully
Commenter jordanly has harsh words about Google's hiring practices:Google works fiercely to woo extremely idealistic and passionate young innovators with long self-love ballads of all the avenues for creativity and self-management available in this paragon of Doing-It-For-the-Love-Of and Freedom-Of-Thought.He continues: More »
They are often straight-out lies.
