Valleywag: Blogs

The Pledge to Not Suck at the Internet

Nick Douglas — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 12:39:12 PDT

The Internet is not an excuse to be boring, stupid, or cruel. Well, cruel's fine. So join me in taking the Pledge to Not Suck at the Internet. Those who pledge get no actual privilege or prize, and the false sense of superiority is a redundant prize for you, but you can maybe make a newsletter for yourselves.

I, (your name or handle here, unless it contains a year other than your birth year, the word "sux," or the number 69 — in these cases you're not yet ready for the pledge), pledge that:

I will never comment on a blog saying "Why do we care?" because if I don't care, I can go away from the blog. Instead I will sit back and have a good five-minute think about my life.

I will not sign up to Twitter or a blog just to write "I am getting my hair done" or other inanities. Every message I write will be entertaining and/or informative; e.g. "Getting a beehive hairdo so I won't fit under the parking garage clearance pole" or "I am on fire, please assist me." (Note: The latter is appropriate only if my hair is, in reality, on fire.)

I will not consider meeting people off the Internet "creepy," because look at me, I'm normal and I answered the Craigslist ad and here I am in the front of the bar alone, looking over my shoulder like a criminal, waiting for my Craigslist date.

I will only add up to one application per month on Facebook. This application will not be a zombie maker, werewolf maker, "top friends" maker, or anything that serves no purpose and is not, again, entertaining and/or informative.

I will hand my Yelp posts to a friend who works in writing or editing, and I will ask them to rip it to shreds, because I am not an awesome writer but in fact a terrible breezy writer. If I am a regular contributor to McSweeney's Internet Tendency, I will now stop writing ANYTHING on the Internet and will now back away from the keyboard.

I will trick people into seeing Goatse, because that is funny and will never not be funny.

I will not comment on YouTube.

I will not add a signature to my forum posts that is more than half the length of my average post. I will definitely not put ASCII art in my signature, because I recognize that 1993 is over and the Internet has pictures.

After one year of commenting on other people's work without producing any of my own, I will produce some work and allow others to comment on it. I am allowed to then lash out at my commenters, but I acknowledge that that polemic will become my only well-known work.

My new blog's title and tagline will not contain these words: random, musings, "just some thoughts," "my crazy/demented/unique brain", or by Perez Hilton.

I will not invite a "friend" on Facebook if I've never actually communicated with them, even if "we share like 15 friends so I guess it's time we connect." Instead I will wait until I meet these people socially, or get my friends to set us up on a blind date because let's admit it, that's all I really want.

I will never leave a comment expressing adulation or criticism in three or fewer words, unless I am doing so in an altogether unique way. "FAIL" is not a unique way. Neither is "LOLzers."

Photo by Getty Images. Nick Douglas writes at Valleywag and Too Much Nick. He pledges to the above, except for the bit about "LOLzers."

So you want to be a blogger

wagger1 — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 09:21:31 PDT

The Times has deigned to notice that people are getting hired as bloggers. A very few, though. And in a trend that should be worrisome to English majors, most of those getting gigs seem to be geeky sorts like Robert Scoble, who are adept not just at writing blogs but at setting up the tech behind them. No matter. As anyone at Gawker Media could tell you, the tricky part isn't getting hired to run a blog - it's managing to not get fired.

Tomorrow is Caturday!

confonz — Fri, 04 May 2007 16:14:13 PDT

CONFONZ — Yes, cheezburgers have taken over the IntarWeb. Who are we to go against the grain? Bitching and moaning won't help. The Conference Fonzerelli is still here, though his reign of terror is coming to a rapid end. With the weekend, and the Sea Siren parade coming up, the Fonz needs to trade in his leather jacket for a Spongebob-colored cardboard box. In an effort to get him out the door faster, he's wrapped up a nicely flavored selection of little dots for your mastication. After the jump, the Reiser alibi gets stronger, Semel on a Cruise, the Ballminator gets with L. Ron, and did the WSJ change its story?

Checking in with everyone's favorite accused killer that's contributed to the Linux kernel: Mr. Reiser's alibi got a lot better, as his dead wife's ex-lover confessed to killing 8 people. Fire up your Google and plug in Sean Sturgeon. Who knows, he may be the guy who wrote to the SEC like a forth grader. back story in a /. comment.
Why is Terry Semel commenting on Tom Cruise's relationship?
Speaking of comments, check out this doozie on the Wall Street Journal's Deal Journal blog. A fellow by the name of Thomas accuses the blog of fumbling the Microhoo! football. Far be it from the Fonz to criticize bad journalism, but pointing and staring is allowed. Is Thomas a crackpot?
And speaking of Microhoo! we have a very serious question to ask you, our beloved and sweet smelling readers: Will Steve Ballmer convert to Scientology? Our money is on "Yes!"

NBC coopts its critics

destiny — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 13:59:57 PDT

NBC's Bravo division swallowed independent TV criticism site Television Without Pity, proving the networks are just like everybody else: fascinated by strangers' comments about them on web pages. The Peacock Channel had already returned the web site's snarky attention with a shout-out in an episode of NBC's My Name is Earl, and in a story in NBC's West Wing. Now they can keep the mutual backscratching, and backstabbing, where it ought to be: within the same cosy corporate family.

Vlog Hot: Epilogue

Chris Mohney — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 08:14:23 PDT

So yes, the Vlog Hot poll was hacked and scrapped in the semifinals, but we respect the need for closure. Therefore, after the jump, you can peruse the "final" vote tallies, such as they were. In related news, the fine acrylic statuette is back on! The gentlefolk at Zazzle offer these same excellent keepsakes without requiring a trip to some seedy mall studio à la Glamour Shots. So any contestants who made it to the finals — send a high-res photo of your desired subject, your preferred shipping address, and your preferred photo-imprinted farewell gift (deck of cards, pillowcase, or statuette) to tips@valleywag.com.

Vlog Hot: Hacked!

Chris Mohney — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 10:34:47 PDT

"Sport spirit does not have this number here anyhow no more." So true, those words, as written by Katrin Bauerfeind fan "codemonk" and badly if poignantly translated from the German by Babelfish. This refers to a Bauerfeind partisan (commenter "votekatrin") in our Vlog Hot poll who was so determined to see his gal win that he wrote a script to hack the totals, auto-submitting multiple votes per day by gaming the IP address. He/she even offered the script for download to interested parties. Thus our amusement-only poll is rendered even more superfluous than it might have been otherwise, if such can be imagined. The only fair thing to do, of course, is to suspend the poll and declare no winner, since all the heats are suspect at this point. And by nobody wins, we mean everybody wins!

It's hardly cricket to negate all the vlogger vote-stumping and sincere viewer appreciation, despite the corruption introduced by a bad apple or two. Therefore, everyone who made it to the semifinals gets to "win." Unfortunately, it turns out that lovely acrylic statuette requires an actual visit to the mall-based hell of Glamour Shots, so we can't make good on that prize. So just for simplicity's sake, anyone who made it into the semifinal rounds (all 16 of you) can choose from having the photo of your choice (you, your cat, your pet cactus, whatever) imprinted on either a deck of playing cards or a pillowcase, which are the two cheesiest gift options offered by the Kodak Easyshare Gallery. If you're one of the semifinalists, email the high-resolution photo of your choice, plus your preferred shipping address for your lovely parting gift, to tips@valleywag.com. Sorry this exercise in the democratic process ultimately broke down, but that's the Internet for you. Due congratulations and thanks to all our fine contestants.

Vlog Hot: Boys Semifinals Heat 2

Chris Mohney — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 13:00:13 PST

And for today's final semifinal in the Vlog Hot reader poll, here's your last serving of man-meat. Voting will run through this week and conclude at noon Eastern time on Sunday, March 11. You can vote in all heats once per day by clearing browser cookies from polls.gawker.com. In this installment, your choices are Ron Richards, Pedro Andrade, Chad Ruble, and Eric Rey. After the jump, crown your prince.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Vlog Hot: Babes Semifinals Heat 2

Chris Mohney — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 12:00:16 PST

Wrapping up the fair-sex semifinal side of our Vlog Hot reader poll, here are the last four females. Voting will run through this week and conclude at noon Eastern time on Sunday, March 11. You can vote in all heats once per day by clearing browser cookies from polls.gawker.com. This course of the menu includes Aida Mollenkamp, Kristin Reilly, Veronica Belmont, and Maria Sansone. Choose your future spouse after the jump.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Vlog Hot: Boys Semifinals Heat 1

Chris Mohney — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 11:00:49 PST

Continuing the semifinals in our Vlog Hot reader poll, here's the first log cabin full of hearty male specimens. Voting will run through this week and conclude at noon Eastern time on Sunday, March 11. You can vote in all heats once per day by clearing browser cookies from polls.gawker.com. In this heat, enjoy Kevin Nalts, Gary Vaynerchuk, Josh Shipp, and Jonathan London. Vote for your bestie after the jump.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Vlog Hot: Babes Semifinals Heat 1

Chris Mohney — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 10:00:39 PST

The first 16 heats of the Vlog Hot reader poll have concluded, so it's time for the semifinals — four heats of the top vote-getters (two heats of ladies, two heats of gents). Voting will run through this week and conclude at noon Eastern time on Sunday, March 11. You can vote in all heats once per day by clearing browser cookies from polls.gawker.com. The four semifinal heats will be announced throughout today. In this first heat of womens, we have Katrin Bauerfeind, Christine Gambito, Joanne Colan, and Adriana Gascoigne. Hit it after the jump.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Vlog Hot: Last chance to vote

Chris Mohney — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 11:00:18 PST

Voting in the first round of our Vlog Hot poll ends Sunday, March 4, at noon Eastern time. We've had a few shifts in the close races, but remember you can keep voting to support your vlog-crush. Vote once per day by clearing out your browser's cookies (specifically, the cookies from polls.gawker.com). Many of the (ostensibly) most popular vloggers are far behind due to devoted grassroots campaigns from the up-and-comers, so the field remains open. Semifinal rounds will open Monday, March 5. After the jump, a complete list of heats, contestants, and current vote leaders.

VLOG HOT STANDINGS
Current vote leaders are in bold. Voting closes noon Eastern time on Sunday, March 4. Semifinals begin Monday, March 5.

Newsbabes Heat 1 - Katrin Bauerfeind, Amanda Congdon, Zadi Diaz, Mary Katharine Ham, Lauren Love, Shauna.

Nerdboys Heat 1 - Randall Bennett, Josh Flanagan, Conor Kilpatrick, Heywood Jablome, Ron Richards.

Newsbabes Heat 2 - Lindsay Campbell, Joanne Colan, Liza de Guia, Leah Culver, Amber MacArthur.

Nerdboys Heat 2 - Alex Albrecht, Loren Feldman, Steve Garfield, Jonathan London, Kevin Rose, Gary Ruplinger.

Techbabes Heat 1 - Natali Del Conte, Iria Gallardo, Erin McNamara, Kristin Reilly, Irina Slutsky, Karina Stenquist.

Newsboys Heat 1 - Pedro Andrade, Alex Blagg, David Hauslaib, Drew Olanoff, George Oliphant.

Techbabes Heat 2 - Veronica Belmont, Cali Lewis, Caroline McCarthy, Molly Wood, Yue Xu.

Newsboys Heat 2 - Rich DeMuro, Rudy Jahchan, Daniel McVicar, Chad Ruble.

Glamazons Heat 1 - Violet Blue, Gala Darling, Adriana Gascoigne, Casey McKinnon, Sara Schaefer.

Wildcard Boys Heat 1 - Peter Bragiel, James Comans, Cyrlille de Lasteyrie, Ze Frank, Kary Rogers, Josh Shipp.

Glamazons Heat 2 - Brigitte Dale, Sara Gore, Micki Krimmel, Cecile Raubenheimer, Maria Sansone.

Wildcard Boys Heat 2 - Nick Douglas, Juan Falla, John Herman, Eric Rey, Bill Streeter.

Wildcard Babes Heat 1 - Brookers, Christine, Ximena Falla, Randi Jayne, Jenny Lee, Sarah Meyers.

Wildcard Boys Heat 3 - Greg Rose, Gabe Mac, Rick Rey, Chris Ritke, Gary Vaynerchuk.

Wildcard Babes Heat 2 - Jacqulyn Joy, Mary Matthews, Aida Mollenkamp, Uta Ritke, Eva Sollberger.

Wildcard Boys Heat 4 - Kevin Nalts, Chuck Olsen, Schlomo Rabinowitz, Christopher Witecki, Peter Zottolo.

Vlog Hot: Votes, close races, and upsets

Chris Mohney — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 11:00:13 PST

Voting for the Vlog Hot video blogger hotness poll continues through this weekend; polls will close at noon Eastern time on Sunday, March 4. Semifinals will launch the following Monday. Many thousands of votes have already tallied, but note that even wide margins should be no deterrent, as everyone can vote once per day in all contests (just delete cookies from your browser, or specifically, delete cookies from polls.gawker.com, to vote anew daily). So energize your base and get out the vote. Several surprises in the making — popular kids Amanda Congdon and Ze Frank are getting trounced, for example. After the jump, a complete index of all open races and contestants, with the current favorite (as of this writing) highlighted in bold for each heat.

Newsbabes Heat 1 - Katrin Bauerfeind, Amanda Congdon, Zadi Diaz, Mary Katharine Ham, Lauren Love, Shauna.

Nerdboys Heat 1 - Randall Bennett, Josh Flanagan, Conor Kilpatrick, Heywood Jablome, Ron Richards.

Newsbabes Heat 2 - Lindsay Campbell, Joanne Colan, Liza de Guia, Leah Culver, Amber MacArthur.

Nerdboys Heat 2 - Alex Albrecht, Loren Feldman, Steve Garfield, Jonathan London, Kevin Rose, Gary Ruplinger.

Techbabes Heat 1 - Natali Del Conte, Iria Gallardo, Erin McNamara, Kristin Reilly, Irina Slutsky, Karina Stenquist.

Newsboys Heat 1 - Pedro Andrade, Alex Blagg, David Hauslaib, Drew Olanoff, George Oliphant.

Techbabes Heat 2 - Veronica Belmont, Cali Lewis, Caroline McCarthy, Molly Wood, Yue Xu.

Newsboys Heat 2 - Rich DeMuro, Rudy Jahchan, Daniel McVicar, Chad Ruble.

Glamazons Heat 1 - Violet Blue, Gala Darling, Adriana Gascoigne, Casey McKinnon, Sara Schaefer.

Wildcard Boys Heat 1 - Peter Bragiel, James Comans, Cyrlille de Lasteyrie, Ze Frank, Kary Rogers, Josh Shipp.

Glamazons Heat 2 - Brigitte Dale, Sara Gore, Micki Krimmel, Cecile Raubenheimer, Maria Sansone.

Wildcard Boys Heat 2 - Nick Douglas, Juan Falla, John Herman, Eric Rey, Bill Streeter.

Wildcard Babes Heat 1 - Brookers, Christine, Ximena Falla, Randi Jayne, Jenny Lee, Sarah Meyers.

Wildcard Boys Heat 3 - Greg Rose, Gabe Mac, Rick Rey, Chris Ritke, Gary Vaynerchuk.

Wildcard Babes Heat 2 - Jacqulyn Joy, Mary Matthews, Aida Mollenkamp, Uta Ritke, Eva Sollberger.

Wildcard Boys Heat 4 - Kevin Nalts, Chuck Olsen, Schlomo Rabinowitz, Christopher Witecki, Peter Zottolo.

Vlog Hot: Wildcard Boys Heat 4

Chris Mohney — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 18:00:53 PST

And THIS, for real now, is the last heat. Jesus Christ, there's a lot people out there with time on their hands. Not that we don't fully support everything you do. But next time we'll just flip a coin. In this last incarnation of hotness, pick your fave from Kevin Nalts, Chuck Olsen, Schlomo Rabinowitz, Christopher Witecki, and Peter Zottolo. Do it, after the jump.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Vlog Hot: Wildcard Babes Heat 2

Chris Mohney — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:38:01 PST

Here at last is the last school of female fish, swimming their vloggy way to you for evaluation. (Sorry, it's been a very long day.) On the buffet are Jacqulyn Joy, Mary Matthews, Aida Mollenkamp, Uta Ritke, and Eva Sollberger. They await your vote after the jump.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Vlog Hot: Wildcard Boys Heat 3

Chris Mohney — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:07:59 PST

There's light at the end of the tunnel, but not before you render an opinion on another crop of aspiring videoblogging he-men. Well, okay, there's one more round of men after this, but really, that will be it. Promise. Don't hold that against Greg Rose, Gabe Mac, Rick Rey, Chris Ritke, and Gary Vaynerchuk. They have every right to be here, and are, after the jump, where they await your vote.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Vlog Hot: Wildcard Babes Heat 1

Chris Mohney — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:49:50 PST

Eventually, even the womenfolk defy easy categories. Hence, the first of two catchall girly rounds to polish off this excessive day of polling. Herein are Brookers, Christine, Ximena Falla, Randi Jayne, Jenny Lee, and Sarah Meyers. Find their vote-holes after the jump.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Vlog Hot: Wilcard Boys Heat 2

Chris Mohney — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:20:07 PST

Getting even more diverse as we drill further into the depths of vlog hotness, and of course, I mean that in a good way. Why else would this wildcard round lead with none other than Nick Douglas, followed by Juan Falla, John Herman, Eric Rey, and Bill Streeter. Here comes the jump; you know the vote-drill.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Vlog Hot: Glamazons Heat 2

Chris Mohney — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:01:42 PST

More glamazonia! Can't throw a rock without hitting some elaborate coiffes in this category; don't let the casual moppets fool you on some of these kids. Primpees include Brigitte Dale, Sara Gore, Micki Krimmel, Cecile Raubenheimer, and Maria Sansone. Lust away, and vote after the jump.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Vlog Hot: Wildcard Boys Heat 1

Chris Mohney — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 15:42:37 PST

We're turning the corner into the homestretch, but how to classify most of videobloggers anyway? Call them wildcards from here on out, as most of them are all over the place, subject-wise. This first heat sports the likes of Peter Bragiel, James Comans, Cyrlille de Lasteyrie, some guy called Ze Frank, Kary Rogers, and Josh Shipp. Click and vote.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Vlog Hot: Glamazons Heat 1

Chris Mohney — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 15:18:41 PST

This round includes specimens on the more glamorous end of the vlogger spectrum. Celebrity schmoozing, natural hotness, or affected personal style were the tickets into this race. On deck: Violet Blue, Gala Darling, Adriana Gascoigne, Casey McKinnon, and Sara Schaefer. Do that jump thing with the voteyness.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Vlog Hot: Newsboys Heat 2

Chris Mohney — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 14:40:58 PST

The toothsome foursome above rounds out the second heat of newsboys. Yes, we'll give you these tastes from now on, because even we are sick at looking at the logo on every post (beautiful though it is). This round forces a choice among the charms of Rich DeMuro, Rudy Jahchan, Daniel McVicar, and Chad Ruble. After the jump, pick your poison.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Vlog Hot: Techbabes Heat 2

Chris Mohney — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 14:00:24 PST

And here's the second round of gadgetish tech chicks, each one silently pleading for your elecoral support. Present/accounted for are Veronica Belmont, Cali Lewis, Caroline McCarthy, Molly Wood, and Yue Xu. Hit that jump and vote that vote.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Vlog Hot: Newsboys Heat 1

Chris Mohney — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 13:06:38 PST

More boys for you! We're defining "news" very loosely here (not to mention "boy"), but there is at least a pretense towards conveying some kind of informational communication in most of these vlogs, at least sometimes. Some hugging, likely no learning. On tap are Pedro Andrade, Alex Blagg, David Hauslaib, Drew Olanoff, and George Oliphant. Vote, jump, et cetera.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Vlog Hot: Techbabes Heat 1

Chris Mohney — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 12:45:20 PST

Now let's get into the serious stuff of nerdy fap-dreams — the geek girls. Or at least the girls who appear in video blogs on tech-friendly subjects. In this round, choose from Natali Del Conte, Iria Gallardo, Erin McNamara, Kristin Reilly, Irina Slutsky, and Karina Stenquist. Vote after the jump, minions.

If you can't see the voting mechanism below, we can't help you. We don't know how it works either. You might try turning off firewalls and turning on cookies. Note that you can now vote more than once! And why not? You should be able to vote once per day in any of these polls, showing true devotion to your favorite vlogger by suborning the more casual, ephemeral love showered on her or his opponents. Again, if you have technical problems with that, don't call us. For amusement only, far as you're concerned.

Twingly blog-globe world-reader

Chris Mohney — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 16:30:17 PST

One of prettiest useless things seen I've seen in awhile: the Twingly screensaver, via Biz Stone. Pulls in blog RSS feeds from all over the world, showing them accumulate in pillars on an elegantly rotating 3D globe. Post titles scroll by; click on any title to display the post and have the globe flip to the blog's physical location. And of course you can zoom and rotate around the blog-globe like the crazy spaceman you are. Minutes of fun.

Blockbuster seeks embedded virus infector

Chris Mohney — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 06:00:25 PST

Remember, fondly, the time when companies were moderately coy about viral marketing? When there was at least a small degree of modest subtlety involved in deceiving consumers? Those days are long gone, as demonstrated by this Monster ad by Blockbuster for a "Blog/Viral Mkt Manager." The ideal candidate shall:

Embed yourself and the Blockbuster brand in the online community.

Develop a network of trusted evangelists and influencers who write and speak online pushing the Blockbuster brand out to their audiences as well as bringing feedback back to the brand.

Just make sure that your network of trusted evangelists and influencers are willing to shill for under-the-table payola. Fortunately, most are.

HOWTO: Achieve blog nirvana

Chris Mohney — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 11:20:55 PST

Once you write enough blog posts, and read far too many blog posts, you acquire an instinctive sense for the principle ingredients of an audience-pleasing offering. However, rather than itemize those ingredients, it's far easier to discuss this magical formula in terms of the instinctive emotional responses you hope to conjure in readers. The broadest of those responses are indignation, titillation, stimulation, and affirmation. Hitting any of the buttons is good. Ideally, you pack as many of those responses as possible into your content, even (and sometimes especially) if they're contradictory. Hitting the sweet spot in the center of all four virtually guarantees bloggy nirvana. In honor of indefatigable Silicon Valley guru Tony Robbins, after the jump, you may explore these four spheres and their subspecies by way of a soothingly hued Venn diagram.

The Path to Blog-Post Nirvana
Of course, as this post itself may exemplify, just knowing the target doesn't mean you hit it every time. Something of a work in progress, so feel free to weigh in.