The city of Vercelli in Italy joined Cologne, Dresden and Tel Aviv this week by adopting a canine DNA test to identify, you know, dog poop. It involves spit-sampling every dog in town to create a DNA database. Owners who don't pick up after their pups will be identified and fined. I'm warning you, folks: This is how it starts. Next thing you know your office manager will be spit-testing everyone to find out who put M&Ms in the espresso maker. It's still not too late to write in Ron Paul for President and stop all this. (Photo by Roofer 1)