What about skimping on this tip? Personally, something just doesn't feel right about tipping a $250 per hour contractor (or contractrix, as the case may be), but it is a service, and I tend to tip for services, so I'm really quite torn.

So what's the protocol for getting a second with someone who approached *you*? ;)

and, for you straight guys, learn how to wash your ass.

what happens if you hire her just to meet her so you can get her to go out with you :)

or is the only way to date a hooker is to stalk her and go talk to her when she's grocery shopping.

Its on my to do list. Move to the Valley so I'll be able to pay thru the nose for sex with skanks.

What if there's no need for cheap tricks? Its probably only me but, I wouldn't go a near a hooker if YOU paid ME.

and, for you hookers, schedule regular HIV tests. 'sfun.

@yawnster: What is this, stalker week on Valleywag? Do you have any tips on dealing with psycho stalkers for Owen and Jimbo Wales? I would imagine, in your line of work, it's an occupational hazard. Then again, gunhappy female COO's might be a totally different breed than what you're used to dealing with.

Mmm, so how's the hooker hate you barbor helping you score with the non-pro women in your life?

Well at least I suppose with pros you know what you're getting into. I remember the gold diggers in the Palo Alto bars, circa 1999. Some of those girls knew exactly what price the YHOO stock closed at that day. I learned pretty quickly not to mention which company I worked for to weed them out.

One intern at my former employer managed to marry a VP in just a few years' work. I wonder if all considered he ever gets a freebie.

@Melissa Gira Grant: Shit. I'm busted. Who told you I hate my barber? Don't tell the bastard or he'll slit my throat.

I usually have something inane to say in Melissa's posts. Cannot think of one this time. Oh, the whole alternate/secret John identity caper.

Harry "Me? Oh, I'm Ben Wankly" Wang

@Melissa Gira Grant: Alliteration - I Loves it !
Sorry Melissa, someone's got to speak up for us narcissists.

@Arnaud H: There are still plenty of gold diggers around here. The easiest thing is to say you're out of work, weeds them out pretty quick.

How zeta a zeta male do you have to be to strike out with a sex trade pro? Pay the going rate, or your rep gets around and you'll pay an extra 25%, at least if the Valley is anything like Vangroover.

4. being exceptionally gifted doesn't mean you get one. Hung like a mule, special American discount + %20.

Melissa, now I'm so curious - what did he think he did that made him deserving of a freebie?

And @Peteski: This column is not trying to upsell hookers to those not interested. It's for those thinking of or who already do use escorts, trying to bring them up to speed.

And shouldn't everyone not in a monogamous relationship schedule regular HIV tests?

Ooops Hookers. I read hackers... I am not into hookers. Sorry.