What geek girls want in a hookup

Say you score a genuine female technophile from the swarm of wannabes who just want to bed you for geek cred. Now the challenge is keeping her around.

Don't "friend" her all at once. If you obsessively add her on every social network the morning after, it'll only make it harder to disentangle later. Think reciprocity: if she posts to Flickr every day and you only have one set of drunk self-portraits, that's not really an equal exchange. If she's the kind of girl who's all over Pownce, Twitter, and whatever else just launched this week, limit yourself to one network that makes sense and then let her decide if she wants to add you to another.
Search, don't stalk. Be cautious Googling before the second date. You'll only seem creepy if you start to quote her blog posts postcoitum — even if you don't think her old Geocities site is that embarrassing. The point isn't to build an encyclopedic knowledge of her whole life. Search just enough so that when she does talk about her career, you'll have context and won't have to pretend you're more interested than you already aren't yet.
Brag discreetly. Wanting to tell someone about what a great blowjob you got in the bathroom of House of Shields is natural. Just save the story for a few friends you trust, the ones who juggle dating and public life well, or do so with a minimum of bloggable dramatics. With luck they're skilled at being discreet; at worst, they have lovers on the line, too.

12:00 PM on Thu Apr 10 2008
By Melissa Gira Grant
5,279 views
28 comments

Comments

sample032 at 12:19 PM on 04/10/08
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So don't do anything online that I wouldn't (ok, I'm shy, so shouldn't) do in real life?

While I'm at it, maybe I should start watching whom I poke--might explain why Owen was acting weird that one time.
jtzl at 12:26 PM on 04/10/08
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is poke supposed to be a euphemism for sex? if so, i think i poked some people i shouldn't have.
lustylady at 12:31 PM on 04/10/08
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I don't know that I count as a "geek girl" but I think this is very sound advice. I kindof like the people I date to be a little less social-networked than I am cause that takes some of the fun out of communicating with them and getting to know them. I do make exceptions to that for, uh, special people, aka, Valleywag contributors.
Fake Jimbo Wales at 12:41 PM on 04/10/08
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@lustylady: Do you know if Melissa has a date for the Time 100 party?
bugz321 at 12:50 PM on 04/10/08
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Ahh, blowjobs at the House of Shields. Now that brings back memories.
brechtgirl at 01:10 PM on 04/10/08
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There are two bras in this picture, right?
Fidel on the Roof at 01:11 PM on 04/10/08
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What's a geek girl? Doesn't sound appealing to me.
flyover at 01:12 PM on 04/10/08
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I want chocolate and music and wine mostly.
BartKela at 01:16 PM on 04/10/08
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It's those people with XX chromosomes at the Mountain View Caltrain station, waiting for the evening Baby Bullet (the train, not the vibrator).

Once you see, you'll understand.
lustylady at 01:17 PM on 04/10/08
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@Jimbo Wales: As I said, I don't think I'm geeky enough cause I don't even know what/when the Time 100 party is.

@brechtgirl: Yes, there seem to be. My fave part of the photo is the painted toenails.
sample032 at 01:17 PM on 04/10/08
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@brechtgirl: This is San Francisco. They don't mean anything.
Schlomo Rabinowitz at 01:28 PM on 04/10/08
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I haven't had a blowjob in the bathroom of HoS, but I've had sex on the bar on its opening night and in the booths through the years afterwards.

And yes, the mess was cleaned up.
askfrasco at 01:37 PM on 04/10/08
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Thats great!! Geek girls love fast fingers! http://youtube.com/watch?v=xFe1R_HBN74
Jeremy at 01:44 PM on 04/10/08
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What I learned from this post: Melissa has long toes.
phil_collins at 01:49 PM on 04/10/08
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make sure not to call her back right away either, wait about a week.
matto at 01:59 PM on 04/10/08
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@phil_collins: Good advice. Everyone knows you can't hurry love. No, you just have to wait- love don't come easy, it's a game of give and take.
adam at 02:20 PM on 04/10/08
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@brechtgirl: wow, good eye. I do believe you are correct.
Patricia2 at 02:20 PM on 04/10/08
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Be a little cold and distracted. More than likely, she went in thinking she's a gift to you, being that you're the geek and she's the girl. It'll throw the game off.
seanpercival at 02:50 PM on 04/10/08
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Sound advice
fishneversleep at 03:20 PM on 04/10/08
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@Jeremy: or short fingers.
Barce at 04:10 PM on 04/10/08
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Knowing how to swap the 2 octets in 16 bits is my test for a geek gal. These fabulous women can be found at the monthly mixer with this acronym: WaW.
Melissa Gira Grant at 05:12 PM on 04/10/08
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@matto: From now on, we're calling this Philrolling:

+ Watch video
Paul Boutin at 05:43 PM on 04/10/08
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@matto: If she called me, I'd be there. I'd come running anywhere.
Lisa_AssumedName at 06:05 PM on 04/10/08
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It's a very bad idea to become too "socially connected" online too soon - I regret it every time. Stop following them on Twitter, de-friend from Facebook, etc. Total hassle.
grrgle at 06:38 PM on 04/10/08
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@brechtgirl:

I am calling one bra, one butt-thong

@fishneversleep:

You are my hero
matto at 11:05 PM on 04/10/08
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@Melissa Gira Grant: ZOMG THAT WAS THE BEST SONG I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT
rumourone at 09:14 AM on 04/11/08
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Two bras, one padded, one lace. A badge on hotel carpet....hummm...this was a well put together photo. There must be some hidden meaning...

Nonetheless, I must comment on the choice of color. That is not a very feminine nail polish color. MGG has to be a lesbian. Beautiful toes, poor presentation. Oh my, can we just start with eliminating the word "totally" from the vocab?

Now you are at some sex conference doing god knows what, but when you get back home-here in the Valley where we live, I want to read a story on PRENUPS. It's been mentioned a lot here lately. Clauses, expectations, and how both men and women perceive the subject. Thank you very much, I look forward to reading your research!
kinkytex at 10:34 AM on 04/11/08
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Melissa got some finger toes...