Valleywag
Tabloid newspapers are alien to the Valley. A scandal sheet like the New York Post rarely covers tech — and those are the only days you read it. We understand that it's jarring. Here's how to decode the Post's recent report on Microsoft's attempt to cobble together a Yahoo board.
The Post:
Microsoft has been so cagey about the candidates it plans to nominate to Yahoo!'s board that speculation is mounting that the software giant actually doesn't have anyone lined up.The invisible footnote: Our once-cooperative sources at Microsoft don't see any reason to keep us updated on negotiations. Here's a reason: Talk or we'll make up things and call it "speculation." We won't make up nice things.
The Post:
The word on Wall Street and in technology circles is that the Redmond, Wash.-based company has had a list of candidates drawn up since early March, but that the company is having difficulty getting people to sign on.The invisible footnote: See? Because you haven't told us anything, everything is a possibility! Guess which possibilities we're going to emphasize.
The Post:
The deal is seen as a make or break deal for Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, who has staked both his reputation and the company's ability to do battle with Web titan Google.The invisible footnote: Seen by whom? New York Post readers, now. Some of them on work on Wall Street!
The Post:
Other sources familiar with the matter dispute that Microsoft is having trouble putting its slate together, noting that the company has signed up 10 board candidates and two alternates and is ready to pull the trigger on nominating them if and when it has toThe invisible footnote: Microsoft PR people spoke to us, but refused to have their comments attributed and wouldn't give us the board members' names — so we'll just report that they don't have any, and bury their spin at the bottom of the article.
Comments
If I send you my newspaper every morning, how much will you charge to do this for every article?
@mediawhoremeow You're onto something there...
@mediawhoremeow: If the treatment belongs on Valleywag, I'll do it free of charge (to you. Mr. Denton pays.) Send the links to nicholas@valleywag.com.
Oh hellz yea. Deal!
For the board I nominate Rick Astley!
The Post's main invisible footnote is: if you look at this - you wont accidently make eye contact with wrong person on the subway.
@Nicholas Carlson: How much for you to read it to me as a bedtime story?
@random_play: Ahh... Got me again. I shuold've seen it coming.
I'll tell you how to read a tabloid newspaper, start by ripping out the second page. Fold it up to roughly the size of you palm. Gently apply between ass crack. Be careful not scratch yourself by scrapping the edges along your skin. Still have some wiping to do? Follow by ripping out page three & so on. I think you get the picture, cause if it's shit you're into, then you have more in common with the NY Post than you think... :||
@matto: Just one goodnight kiss, buttercup.
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